[Help] Help with possible dementia

[Lush]

As others have said, Alzheimer's Society are great for advice.

Also, re dehydration, you may find these useful....

Jelly Drops: Sweets To Support Hydration | Official Website

Jelly Drops are award-winning sweets to boost hydration. Invented for people with dementia & now enjoyed by anyone wanting to increase water intake.

www.jellydrops.com

 

[Eric the meek]

Good luck with it @Bozza.

I've little to add to what I wrote earlier, other than it sounds like you're going through the worst of it now. In my Mum's case, over time, the same paranoia was slowly replaced by her becoming a lovely, gentle old woman.

I hope the same will apply to your Mum.

 

[essbee1]

Good luck with it @Bozza.

I've little to add to what I wrote earlier, other than it sounds like you're going through the worst of it now. In my Mum's case, over time, the same paranoia was slowly replaced by her becoming a lovely, gentle old woman.

I hope the same will apply to your Mum.

I'm in the same boat Eric. Mercifully, my Mum is not someone as I've seen in some, where they simply go
walkabout.

 

[Saladpack Seagull]

As a retired dementia care and support worker and one whose parents both had dementia, I can endorse what Zeberdi wrote about distraction techniques. It's not an easy thing to master as you have to remain calm about the immediate situation and be convincing about the distraction topic. The more you do it, the better you'll become at it. It is, of course, just one of the many things you must get to grips with, and none of it is easy. I wish you all the best in a very tough situation for you and your family. Take care.

 

[Eric the meek]

I'm in the same boat Eric. Mercifully, my Mum is not someone as I've seen in some, where they simply go
walkabout.

After we had got her into a home, we were going through my Mum's things. We found a letter from Iceland (the store, not the country), telling her she was banned.

We also found a load of stuff from the Park View pub in Preston Park, telling her to refrain from bumming drinks off the customers. I suspect they also banned her, but found that it didn't work. If you've got dementia, you don't remember that you're banned, do you? So you keep going back to the nice, warm friendly place where the drinks are free.

Nice one Mum

Edit: My apologies to all those going through it now, and who may think it was a bit crass of me to write that. My intention was to show that you do come out the other side, and the stress and grief is replaced by fond memories. I hope I did the right thing.....

 

[Weststander]

Vascular dementia is largely preventable (apparently) by keeping a healthy blood pressure through middle age (40-60) keeping a lid on excess alcohol and not eating too much crap. It's no use them prescribing blood pressure meds once you have VD as the damage is long done, and the less said about Memantine the better in my dad's experience anyway, absolutely useless, he may as well have been consuming Smarties such was his unstoppable mental decline with VD.

Smoking, high cholesterol foods, diabetes also big causes/risk factors.

 

[BrightonCottager]

After we had got her into a home, we were going through my Mum's things. We found a letter from Iceland (the store, not the country), telling her she was banned.

We also found a load of stuff from the Park View pub in Preston Park, telling her to refrain from bumming drinks off the customers. I suspect they also banned her, but found that it didn't work. If you've got dementia, you don't remember that you're banned, do you? So you keep going back to the nice, warm friendly place where the drinks are free.

Nice one Mum

Edit: My apologies to all those going through it now, and who may think it was a bit crass of me to write that. My intention was to show that you do come out the other side, and the stress and grief is replaced by fond memories. I hope I did the right thing.....

That made me laugh - I wondered if she ever bummed a drink off me in the PV.

Thanks @Zeberdi for liking my post back in March or May as it brought me back to this thread. My mum is settled in the home now and still recognises me and my daughter when we visit. She's safe, clean, fed well and has more social contact than for the last 24 years. She gets a gent in there confused with me although he does looks like my Dad (!). The staff are great. Some of the other residents recognise me and I have a chat with them. I've been flashed at my one of the old dears in there. Yay.

I'm now trying to sell my mum's house to pay for her care home fees. She would be mortified if she realised but I've always said to her that that is why her and my dad saved all their lives (for a rainy day). I'm resigned to the Autumn Budget IHT reforms taking anything left over when my mum goes.

I'm still trying to sort out my mum's financial affairs. Every single bank, building society, ISA provider, National Savings & share administrator has had different requirements for registering a PoA and me proving my identity. Some have lost the documents I've sent them, either permanently or for months. Others have claimed I've not sent them all the documents when there's only one A3 document to send them which I had. If you can persuade your loved ones to simplify their financial affairs before you need to use a PoA, then please do. I'm going to do it for myself.

I remain happy to help anyone else going through this.

 

[jcdenton08]

Very sorry to hear this @Bozza

My own Mum, having lost the love of her life my Dad some years back, has been slowly losing mental clarity. A CT scan showed signs of the frontal lobe degenerating and she is increasingly forgetful. She’s now on the Memory Pathway and I’m doing my best to keep her mind and body active. Although I realise things are only going to get worse from here.

Really it was Dad’s passing that did for her, the change was so sudden and been downhill since. A broken heart is a terrible, terrible thing.

 

[BrightonCottager]

Sorry to hear about this @Bozza . I'm in the process of selling my mum's house and am still finding things she squirreled away in odd places. There's a lot of experience and good advice on this thread and on the Alzheimers Socerty website and messageboard (not as entertaining as NSC though)!

I came across the Alzheimers Society sponsored Memory walk on Sunday on the prom - think ill do it next year.

 

[Bozza]

Another day, another challenge...

Her false teeth got lost when she was in hospital so, when she came home we got that sorted out - 4 or 5 visits to the dentists over a fair few weeks and we finally had a new set.

This morning they are gone. I've searched everywhere. My concern is she flushed them down the toilet, and we're back to square one - no teeth for a while and we have to go through the whole process again.

And, of course, in her mind someone has taken them from her.

 

[Zeberdi]

Another day, another challenge...

Her false teeth got lost when she was in hospital so, when she came home we got that sorted out - 4 or 5 visits to the dentists over a fair few weeks and we finally had a new set.

This morning they are gone. I've searched everywhere. My concern is she flushed them down the toilet, and we're back to square one - no teeth for a while and we have to go through the whole process again.

And, of course, in her mind someone has taken them from her.

I presume you checked her handbag!?

Sounds incredibly stressful for you

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Vascular dementia is largely preventable (apparently) by keeping a healthy blood pressure through middle age (40-60) keeping a lid on excess alcohol and not eating too much crap. It's no use them prescribing blood pressure meds once you have VD as the damage is long done, and the less said about Memantine the better in my dad's experience anyway, absolutely useless, he may as well have been consuming Smarties such was his unstoppable mental decline with VD.

No it isn't.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Mrs Cat has been in a nursing home since January with vascular dementia (aged 63), and will never come home. She hasn't recognised me for at least two years, doesn't know who she is, where she is, why she is there, and her language abilities are slowly declining so she can't hold a proper conversation. She can't walk unaided, is doubly incontinent, and needs to be helped to eat and drink.

Her savings are rapidly diminishing due to the ongoing cost.

At least the paranoia has gone, although that might be due to the medications.

If and when you get to the stage that you can't cope any longer and need help, there is no shame in placing somebody in a home - although you won't think that at the time.

 

[Flounce]

Another day, another challenge...

Her false teeth got lost when she was in hospital so, when she came home we got that sorted out - 4 or 5 visits to the dentists over a fair few weeks and we finally had a new set.

This morning they are gone. I've searched everywhere. My concern is she flushed them down the toilet, and we're back to square one - no teeth for a while and we have to go through the whole process again.

And, of course, in her mind someone has taken them from her.

My mum kept wrapping her hearing aid in a napkin and leaving it with her half eaten food, found it a few times but eventually it was lost. Same problem with her bridge and false teeth

She didn’t give a shit either, but she did like the care home and the people who ran it, small mercies.

She had told me before her stroke that if I ever put her in a home she’d come back and haunt me. Still feel guilty.

 

[clapham_gull]

Another day, another challenge...

Her false teeth got lost when she was in hospital so, when she came home we got that sorted out - 4 or 5 visits to the dentists over a fair few weeks and we finally had a new set.

This morning they are gone. I've searched everywhere. My concern is she flushed them down the toilet, and we're back to square one - no teeth for a while and we have to go through the whole process again.

And, of course, in her mind someone has taken them from her.

No consolation to know people like me have been through the same but we have. Mine in quite an extreme short period that lead to bereavement.

My experience was highly concentrated, I wonder what we would have had to deal with over a longer period.

If comparison is worthless, empathy is everything.

You'll be the better person for it, because you'll be able to extend to others.

Love from Balham.