Greatest piss you've ever had

[Early Doors]

Mine was after a 2 and a half hour journey one morning. Had been busting for nearly an hour.
Two planned loo stops were closed. Eventually has a piss in Tesco Dunstable. Thought it would never stop. Timed it (sad I know) at 1 min 45 seconds.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Well done ED.



NURSE

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

You can't beat a bladder busting piss, especially when there's so much to come out that despite enjoying the relief you end up getting bored at how long it's going on for.

 

[Napper]

good effort,

can't remember the exact best one but usually the morning after a big session I o for monster piss's ,

Anything over a minute and I start nodding my head shouting yeah in an arrogant fashion

 

[tinx]

They are normally after a long trip in a car to an away game drinking beer, whereever we park its normally find the nearest convenient spot and piss for england

 

[The Large One]

About 20 years ago, I went to a family party in Whipsnade Zoo (no, really), and forgot to have a piss before getting on the toiletless coach going home. Finally had the world's longest piss on exiting the coach. At Preston Circus.

Remember kids, Excessive beer + no loo + moving coach = agony only relieved my the noisiest of pissing.

 

[Early Doors]

Anything over a minute and I start nodding my head shouting yeah in an arrogant fashion

That made me laugh out loud.

 

[jonny.rainbow]

I actually did manage to write my name in the snow once.

Was quite proud of that.

 

[British Bulldog]

After the Albion cup game V Coventry this season.

Bloody bus service from Brighton - Lancing. and to make it worse the bus broke down. By the time me & the boy got to Lancing we were at bursting point. Could'nt find a loo so nipped up Culver road and used the car park at Lancing fc's ground.

I knew summit was wrong when a car turned up behind us & my nipper zipped up very quickly and started legging it.

Yeah a cop car. 2 police women as well. What could I say?

You just cant stop mid flow can you.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

I was ten years old and had pre-diagnosed diabetes, so I had very very high blood sugar and hence always needed to go to the loo. Was stuck in the outfield during a school cricket match and I couldn't leave the pitch to go. By the time the match was over, I was so desperate that I was actually crying with pain.

Scarred me for life


Best piss i've ever had, mind

 

[tedebear]

after being in labour for days I finally relented and had an epidural - as part of this you get a lovely catheter, I realized I hadn't been for about 12 hours and hence filled the bag to the brim in about 2 minutes...

 

[Deleted member 2719]

I had just been sent off after a footie match it was the last minute and the ref gave me a straight red card for disputing a throw in, i was livid and dieing for a piss and as i went back to the changing room i had this massive desire to fill the refs kit bag up - fortunately i had calmed down when i got there but it lasted for ever, he would have got one very wet bag!!

 

[D'Angelo Saxon]

Going to Shepards Bush Empire for DMC Championships a few years back. Shoudl have gone before I jumped on the tube...

...that tube ride was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. I was so close to jumping off at every stop along the way and letting rip, but somehow managed to get to Shepards Bush.

That piss was amazing.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

The greatest dump I ever had was this afternoon second floor gallery Lloyds Building after a heavy lunch at about 3.20.

 

[Robbie G]

After watching cricket at Hove, Twenty20 game. It was too busy to get to the portaloos, so ended up waiting about 2 hours for a piss. Ended up pissing in a bush 5 mins away from Burgess Hill station, as both toilets on the train were locked

 

[British Bulldog]

after being in labour for days I finally relented and had an epidural - as part of this you get a lovely catheter, I realized I hadn't been for about 12 hours and hence filled the bag to the brim in about 2 minutes...

I'm just sooooo glad i'm a bloke.

 

[Meade's Ball]

A uirinary tract infection in the hospital meant i was up to 200 single beads of piss a day. Each one burnt like an ancient wax on fire and snakelike. I thought of masturbation, but was caught wiggling too manfully on my ward and had to give in. Agony, it was, and constant.

My favourite last piss was the morning i gave up drugs a year or so ago. New Years Day, 2005. I was weeing in someone's bed fast asleep having downed too many powders the previous evening. She woke me and asked me to give it a rest. I told it wasn't a piss, but that my cock had become excessively sweaty.
The lie didn't work. Yet, i didn't die at her hands.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Piss poor thread.

 

[SJ's Love Monkey]

On a coach going to The Pink Elephant Nightclub in Luton many years ago, had half a dozen cans in no time and then the poxy coach driver got lost and because we were late he wouldnt stop the coach. So when the bin liner came round for the empty cans i had the best waz ever in it!! The rest of the people handling the bag must have thought someone had put a full can in there!!

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

After waiting 40 mins on the night bus back to Hassocks I really thought I was going to piss my self.