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Fatty Taxman walks out at Luton



El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,912
Pattknull med Haksprut
Last night I was shocked and stunned, when Pete Canning, who has not missed a match since 1981, walked out of Kenilworth Road at 9.07pm, in search of a KFC bargain bucket and six cans of Tennants at the local off licence. I have known Pete man, woman and child from the glory days at the Goldstone, and if you cut him in two he would bleed blue and white blubber.

Canning, 42, who in the past was romantically linked with Supermodel Elle McPherson until she took out a restraining order, is a fixture at Albion home and away matches. When fans like him start leaving half way through games we clearly have problems.

Canning, of no fixed underpants, Patcham, is still in the current edition of the Guinness Book of Records for singing 'Bright Eyes' out of tune 117 times during a 0-0 draw at Mansfield a few seasons ago.

Come back Pete we need you.
 




hitony

Administrator
Jul 13, 2005
16,284
South Wales (im not welsh !!)
El Presidente said:
Last night I was shocked and stunned, when Pete Canning, who has not missed a match since 1981, walked out of Kenilworth Road at 9.07pm, in search of a KFC bargain bucket and six cans of Tennants at the local off licence. I have known Pete man, woman and child from the glory days at the Goldstone, and if you cut him in two he would bleed blue and white blubber.

Canning, 42, who in the past was romantically linked with Supermodel Elle McPherson until she took out a restraining order, is a fixture at Albion home and away matches. When fans like him start leaving half way through games we clearly have problems.

Canning, of no fixed underpants, Patcham, is still in the current edition of the Guinness Book of Records for singing 'Bright Eyes' out of tune 117 times during a 0-0 draw at Mansfield a few seasons ago.

Come back Pete we need you.


At last, El Pres does a thread thats NOT a wind up !! :lolol: its the knowing this guy from a "man, woman and child" bit that i find concerning !!! :lolol: :lolol: (good thread El Pres ;) )
 


Timbo

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
4,311
Hassocks
To see Pete in action in a KFC is an amazing sight.
Pete - 'Chicken'
KFC employee - 'I'm sorry sir?'
Pete (pointing at the menu) - 'fuckin chicken'
 


Scoffers

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2004
6,868
Burgess Hill
Maybe his hunger for food simply outweighed his hunger for the Albion, I am sure he loves both with equal measure. It was bloody awful, you have to admit
 


El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,912
Pattknull med Haksprut
Re: Re: Fatty Taxman walks out at Luton

hitony said:
At last, El Pres does a thread thats NOT a wind up !! :lolol: its the knowing this guy from a "man, woman and child" bit that i find concerning !!! :lolol: :lolol: (good thread El Pres ;) )

Can I point out that on my 'wind up' thread yesterday I did correctly point out that Tureinzo was going to play a full 10 hours before the team was announced, and there was no information about it on the official site either!:wave:
 




Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,715
Uffern
Who IS the Fatty Taxman? In the years that I've been watching the Albion, people have been talking about the FT and his 'legendary' status...but I've never encountered him.

As I keep going into pubs and being told that I've just missed the Fatty Taxman, I'm being to believe that he's some mystical beast like the Yeti or Big Foot that the Albion fans have created in order to frighten the children. I have no evidence that he's a creature of flesh and blood.

So, does he really exist?
 


El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,912
Pattknull med Haksprut
Gwylan said:


So, does he really exist?

Pete Canning is a former pupil of Cardinal Newman school, who left in 1979 with two 'O' levels, in IT and Art. After a failed apprenticeship painting computers he joined the Inland Revenue in 1980, and has worked there ever since.

He has been linked with a stream of women over the years, most of them inflatable, but is still single and available. Even today rumours about him and Jeanette Krankie exist, but nothing was ever proved.
 


Seagull's Return

Active member
Nov 7, 2003
861
Brighton
He also studied "science" at an un-named university. A man of great (though mostly hidden, it has to be admitted) philosophical depth and discernment, I've always found.
 




Trigger

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2003
40,457
Brighton
Must have been absolutely shit for the mighty Canning to walk out...

Maybe he was on the next flight to Rome?
 


Timbo said:
To see Pete in action in a KFC is an amazing sight.
Pete - 'Chicken'
KFC employee - 'I'm sorry sir?'
Pete (pointing at the menu) - 'fuckin chicken'

:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

El P, were you stood with Pete last night? Thought I saw you. We were stood in the back row, just to your left, so as to get a nice view of Jake Robinson's arse. :love:
 


Fran Hagarty

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
2,412
Mid Sussex
Gwylan said:
Who IS the Fatty Taxman? In the years that I've been watching the Albion, people have been talking about the FT and his 'legendary' status...but I've never encountered him.

So, does he really exist?

Yes, he does exist - he sits behind me at Withdean. He's a thoroughly nice bloke who likes his food and drink and gets the mickey taken out of him something rotten but takes it all in good part.

His rendition of "Bright Eyes" is infinitely better than that dire Al-bi-on chant stolen from Li-ver-pool although, it seems, the majority wouldn't agree!

I'm sorry that even Pete found it necessary to leave before the end yesterday - it riles me when people do that. However, he is certainly Brighton through and through and had obviously had enough on this occasion! ;-) Hopefully it will be better on Saturday - it can't be much worse! See you there Pete!
 




Fran Hagarty said:
Yes, he does exist - he sits behind me at Withdean. He's a thoroughly nice bloke who likes his food and drink and gets the mickey taken out of him something rotten but takes it all in good part.

His rendition of "Bright Eyes" is infinitely better than that dire Al-bi-on chant stolen from Li-ver-pool although, it seems, the majority wouldn't agree!

I'm sorry that even Pete found it necessary to leave before the end yesterday - it riles me when people do that. However, he is certainly Brighton through and through and had obviously had enough on this occasion! ;-) Hopefully it will be better on Saturday - it can't be much worse! See you there Pete!

Fran - think I have a video of you being interviewed circa 1995/96 in my latest batch of footage. Pretty sure it is you anyway from past discussions about who sits where. If not you then someone who looks like you anyway!
 


El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,912
Pattknull med Haksprut
Safeway said:
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

El P, were you stood with Pete last night? Thought I saw you. We were stood in the back row, just to your left, so as to get a nice view of Jake Robinson's arse. :love:

I was indeed with the Taxman last night, and as for Jake's arse, I think you will find that it is OWNED by someone else:jester:
 








Scoffers

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2004
6,868
Burgess Hill
Pete Canning is indeed a legend
 


Big Rob

New member
Nov 2, 2005
170
Come on Dick Knight erect that statue of Canning and his younger brother Guppy, NOW, Then will all take it in turns in carrying it to Falmer for our first game. its the least we can do for these two leg ends. Canning we salute you :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :drink:
 


Gwylan said:
Who IS the Fatty Taxman? In the years that I've been watching the Albion, people have been talking about the FT and his 'legendary' status...but I've never encountered him.

As I keep going into pubs and being told that I've just missed the Fatty Taxman, I'm being to believe that he's some mystical beast like the Yeti or Big Foot that the Albion fans have created in order to frighten the children. I have no evidence that he's a creature of flesh and blood.

So, does he really exist?

I've met Pete C and I'm not even an Albion fan.

Well, not totally an Albion fan anyway.
 




El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,912
Pattknull med Haksprut
Canning is a top bloke GENT, but Guppy is a little racist who is another four letter word ending in NT sadly.
 




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