A 200-yard length of footpath could delay or even scupper Brighton and Hove Albion's Falmer stadium plan, writes shit stirring local journo, IP Freely
The public inquiry examining roadworks essential for the project heard the path, listed as FP50, would have to be diverted to make room for a proposed stretch of dual carriageway on Village Way.
Altering the route would require a diversion order which, if challenged, could trigger a separate public inquiry. Local residents claim that the path is needed by the local community as it is an area of outstanding charm and beauty. "Many residents use it to dump old refreidgerators, shoot air pellets at wildlfe and the local whore Ms Sophie Titte-Wanke has bequeathed hundreds of used johnnies here" thundered the local parish priest Father Michael Kiddiefiddler
Lawyers acting for the club said Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott had the power to order the diversion if the overall stadium plan was approved. Prezza, the former maritime shop steward,was unavailable for comment as he was auditioning for the part of Captain Birdseye for a TV advert in relation to a new series of Haddock flavoured snacks. " My seamen have had many things rammed down their throats, but one nibble on these, especially with the salty mayo on top, and I was hooked" mused the lard eating twin jag driving imbecile. When it was revealed that it would be his finger on the nuclear button now that Tory Blair is about to push up the daisies, three thousand asylum seekers decided to emigrate to Zimbabwe to seek a more sensible regime.
But that view has been queried by experts who say it is not possible to fast-track such a legal procedure.
Planning expert Peter Rainier, giving evidence for the club at the hearing, said he was confident of a successful outcome should a further inquiry be called.
He said: "It could trigger another inquiry but I think it is unlikely to be refused. It is highly unlikely a diversion order would be refused."
The personal masseuse of Albion chairman Dick Tight, Miss Tracy Fuckwit, a former seat belt tester for VW cars, then dropped her knickers and revealed to the Inquiry her neatly trimmed bush. "It's the nearest thing anyone will ever see to a Brazilian at the Albion whilst I'm in charge" quipped the legendary cheque book dodger, before taking her roughly from behind with an inflatable Timmy Mallett
The public right of way runs alongside Village Way, which the club needs to widen to make sure Guy Butters can drive his Buttermobile to the stadium.
The university, which owns about a third of the stadium site, told the inquiry it wanted strict conditions to prevent the scheme from going ahead without the proposed road works. These included one of the stands being named the Reginald Jism stand, after a well known lecturer and part time transsexual model who taught industrial needlework at the two bit educational establishment
The hearing is sitting for an extra two weeks to thrash out highway revisions. All other matters relating to the controversial 22,000-seat arena had been considered when the main inquiry ended in June.
Robert White, representing Lewes District Council, one of the chief opponents of the stadium, said: "If the footpath is not moved and the road widening is not able to take place we are back to the original application."
Mr Prescott's final decision is not expected until early 2004.
The final inquiry session is scheduled to finish next week. It has already cost more than £1 million, enough to pay Paul Kitsons medical bills for a month
The public inquiry examining roadworks essential for the project heard the path, listed as FP50, would have to be diverted to make room for a proposed stretch of dual carriageway on Village Way.
Altering the route would require a diversion order which, if challenged, could trigger a separate public inquiry. Local residents claim that the path is needed by the local community as it is an area of outstanding charm and beauty. "Many residents use it to dump old refreidgerators, shoot air pellets at wildlfe and the local whore Ms Sophie Titte-Wanke has bequeathed hundreds of used johnnies here" thundered the local parish priest Father Michael Kiddiefiddler
Lawyers acting for the club said Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott had the power to order the diversion if the overall stadium plan was approved. Prezza, the former maritime shop steward,was unavailable for comment as he was auditioning for the part of Captain Birdseye for a TV advert in relation to a new series of Haddock flavoured snacks. " My seamen have had many things rammed down their throats, but one nibble on these, especially with the salty mayo on top, and I was hooked" mused the lard eating twin jag driving imbecile. When it was revealed that it would be his finger on the nuclear button now that Tory Blair is about to push up the daisies, three thousand asylum seekers decided to emigrate to Zimbabwe to seek a more sensible regime.
But that view has been queried by experts who say it is not possible to fast-track such a legal procedure.
Planning expert Peter Rainier, giving evidence for the club at the hearing, said he was confident of a successful outcome should a further inquiry be called.
He said: "It could trigger another inquiry but I think it is unlikely to be refused. It is highly unlikely a diversion order would be refused."
The personal masseuse of Albion chairman Dick Tight, Miss Tracy Fuckwit, a former seat belt tester for VW cars, then dropped her knickers and revealed to the Inquiry her neatly trimmed bush. "It's the nearest thing anyone will ever see to a Brazilian at the Albion whilst I'm in charge" quipped the legendary cheque book dodger, before taking her roughly from behind with an inflatable Timmy Mallett
The public right of way runs alongside Village Way, which the club needs to widen to make sure Guy Butters can drive his Buttermobile to the stadium.
The university, which owns about a third of the stadium site, told the inquiry it wanted strict conditions to prevent the scheme from going ahead without the proposed road works. These included one of the stands being named the Reginald Jism stand, after a well known lecturer and part time transsexual model who taught industrial needlework at the two bit educational establishment
The hearing is sitting for an extra two weeks to thrash out highway revisions. All other matters relating to the controversial 22,000-seat arena had been considered when the main inquiry ended in June.
Robert White, representing Lewes District Council, one of the chief opponents of the stadium, said: "If the footpath is not moved and the road widening is not able to take place we are back to the original application."
Mr Prescott's final decision is not expected until early 2004.
The final inquiry session is scheduled to finish next week. It has already cost more than £1 million, enough to pay Paul Kitsons medical bills for a month
