Exactly who.....

[bigbadbonkingbob]

.......is Federico Turienzo?

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Uh oh here goes....

 

[algie]

Crap signing by McGhee.Wasted 150k

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

 

[rool]

Crap signing by McGhee.Wasted 150k

Yes, NSC rule number 5532696.

Crap signings are made by the manager
Good signings are made by Dick Knight.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Uh oh here goes....

FM2005 anyone?

 

[seagully]

Federico Turienzo=Latin Love God

 

[jonny.rainbow]

Supposedly of Turkish nationality but the son of a German father, Turienzo allegedly began his criminal career in Turkey as a low-level drug smuggler. The entity that is Federico Turienzo was truly born, however, when rival smugglers working for the Hungarian Mafia invaded his house while he was away, raping his wife, and holding his children hostage, killing one of them when Turienzo arrived to show him they were serious. They then threatened to kill his wife and remaining children if he did not surrender his business to them. Rather than give in to their demands, he shot and killed his family and all but one of the Hungarians, whom he spared knowing that the survivor would tell the mafia gang what he was planning to do.

After burying his family, Turienzo went after the Mob, killing dozens of people, including the mobsters' families, friends, and even people who owed them money, as well as destroying their homes and businesses. He then "went underground", carving out a career for himself as a professional footballer with Gimnasia La Plata and latterly Brighton and Hove Albion, never again doing business in person and remaining invisible even to his henchmen, who almost never knew who they were working for "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist."

 

[bigbadbonkingbob]

Cool.

So I'm guessing that being him isn't a good thing. Does it change automatically, or am I doomed to be a crap Turk / German / Argentinian forever more?

 

[Turkey]

It'll change the more you post.

 

[seagully]

Cool.

So I'm guessing that being him isn't a good thing. Does it change automatically, or am I doomed to be a crap Turk / German / Argentinian forever more?

Being him is a GREAT thing. He epitomises everything that is good about football: flamboyance, great technique, a rugged physique and great hair. Worship at the shrine of Fed.

 

[seagully]

I can only presume this thread is some sort of SICK joke. However, on the slight chance that it is not, I will explain:

Federico was brought to the club in the summer of 2005 in a bargain £150k transfer deal, shrewdly negotiated by our then messiah Mr Mark McGhee, or King of the Jungle Mr Dick Knight whatever way you look at it. After a scintillating showing at Lewes in a friendly, Fed arrived in a blaze of glory. Deemed the next big thing, some say the pressure got to him. Others say he was simply too big for the club. He played a crucial part in a home draw with Crewe, which followed a spectacular dive in the opening home match v Reading. Turi-mania swept the south coast, with every schoolkid dreaming of playing like their idol on pitches across Sussex, old men discussing his every move in pubs up and down the county, not to mention the numerous ladies who lusted after one second in his presence.

Then, it started to go downhill - not surprising really, I mean how do things get much better for a provincial club like Brighton than the signing of Latin America's number one hitman? A troublesome ear injury kept Fed out of contention, and the much publicised drugs raid on his home only helped to confuse matters. He was later found innocent by a jury of crocs. When Fed did make his comeback in a bleak defeat at Stoke - what isn't bleak in Stoke - he was unable to make much of an impact, and the Brighton faithful (not used to having such a superstar at their disposal) were on his back. Fed fled to Ecuador for a family break, a time he used to increase his large collection of vintage stamps.

He returned once more, and the under-fire McGhee threw him straight back into the team for a crucial match at Luton Town. That night, he was paired with Mark McCammon, which many have since claimed to be the finest and most articulate strike duo the club have ever fielded. Martin Samuel, in his News of the World column, led the calls for both men to be awarded British citizenship in order to lead the country's attack, but his calls were rejected when it was established that the real reason behind his opinion was an attempt to lure McCammon into his bed.

From this point on, El Turinator was not seen again, prompting widespread criticism of the club's handling of their talisman. At the end of the season, he asked to leave, claiming that he felt the "seagulls had simply not been following his trawler." After intense negotiations with Levante, Real Madrid, and Espanyol finished with all three clubs claiming they could not afford to bolster their ranks with Fed's signing, he headed to Italy. Brescia, under the ever watchful eye of Mario Zomma, offered him a deal, but his agent advised him that bigger clubs would soon be interested. Such was the pressure on Zomma to sign Turienzo, the debacle eventually led to his resignation after his family's flock of sheep was sacrificed in protest. The saga rumbles on......


Federico Turienzo - Gone but never forgotten

 

[bigbadbonkingbob]

I can only presume this thread is some sort of SICK joke. However, on the slight chance that it is not, I will explain:

Sorry, I'd never heard of him before.

 

[bigbadbonkingbob]

Erm....... I'm not technically an Albion fan.

 

[Basil Fawlty]

Oh dear....

Come on then, face your demons, and share it with us all. Who do you support?

I bet you a £1 that he is a Palarse fan.

 

[bigbadbonkingbob]

You're joking. Having to go to that shithole twice a season in the Championship (when Wimbledon were playing there as well) was bad enough, I can't imagine having to do it 23 times.

I'm currently enjoying sitting top of the League as a Forest fan. I'm making the most of it as we tend to have four crap seasons to every one good season.