[Politics] Euthanasia

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

My Dad was dying in Worthing Hospital when I received a phone call at 8.30 to say he had taken a turn for the worse. The car was at the garage for an electrical fault, we had a courtesy car.
I rang my husband, set off from work, picked him up, packed a couple of bags, and went to the garage, who said it would be another hour. It was one of the longest hours in my life.
We finally got to Worthing around 3, where my StepMum & a cousin were with him. My cousin said, he’s been waiting for you.
He was completely unconscious, but I told him I was sorry for arriving late, but I was here now, and it was ok to let go.

He died soon after.

Sometimes, we have to let our dying loved ones know it is ok to let go. I have heard this a few times from other people.

Same with my Father In Law. He was in St Barnabas and wanted all his kids around him. My wife was last to arrive and he passed away less than 30 minutes after she got there.

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Once you lose capacity you can’t make legal decisions - therefore anyone wanting to jump ship if they get dementia would have to have made an irrevocable decision much much earlier. Difficult innit?

 

[Weststander]

On R5 now for an hour.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_radio_five_live

 

[A mex eyecan]

Once you lose capacity you can’t make legal decisions - therefore anyone wanting to jump ship if they get dementia would have to have made an irrevocable decision much much earlier. Difficult innit?

I guess that’s like a living will? I wonder if it’s possible to be worded that ‘I don’t want to live past a DOL assessment’ instruction?
Same with having a severe stroke that will leave you mobile or with memory/brain/thought issues.

 

[The Clamp]

The day o have to go into a home or become bed ridden. That’s the day for me to go.


The vast majority of people who end up in care homes are there because they have lost mobility. Can’t get up out a chair unaided etc.

So keep mobile, flexible and motivated.

 

[A mex eyecan]

I get all the concerns of ‘creep’ should euthanasia be legalised and I know the matter is so much deeper and complex than my simple considerations. What I would have thought needed would perhaps put in a series mechanisms whereby everyone has to formalise their desires many years before the need to implement them.

Why not start it with wills? Everyone should be legally compelled to have a will, I’d suggest from age 21 but somewhere near there. Everyone should have to have a will anyhow if for no other reason than making it clear what they want and not what the state decides is best on their demise.

In wills there should have to be a section where the individual has to record if they would or would not consider ending their own life.

There should also then be a compulsory ‘living wills’ and options to list circumstances and degrees of illness where you would want the magic pill.

Im sure there could or would need to be more flesh in the bones as to there areas.

The issue of then changing one’s mind could be done by simply revising your will, something everyone should consider every so many years anyhow.

A will can’t be changed once you lose mental capacity so I would think such a system would go some way to help ensure they are not controlled to do anything that they have not agreed to in an earlier time in their life. In the time of receiving news of say terminal illness or even diagnosis or dementia as examples the person could fairly swiftly update their will and review their wishes as to what they do or don’t want.

I’m not suggesting the above is the answer or absolute but just as say a starting point for making sure any legalisation means it is only the individuals pre recorded wishes.

 

[Since1982]

I watched my mother undergo weeks of pointless suffering. The outcome was clear and inevitable, she had already (at the time that she could speak) said that she was ready and wanted to move on.

I went back to the hospice every day for nearly a month, being told that today was likely to be the day, only it wasn’t.

To the extent that when they rang to call me back to the hospice, I was frankly disbelieving, yet she passed as I was on my way there.

I would have done a lot to spare her those last few weeks, there was no quality of life, it was an unnecessary cruelty.

We need (in my opinion) to be a little more humane about end of life care. Where there is suffering and an inevitable outcome, I would rather not prolong someone’s torture past the point where they decide for themselves that their time is up.

Just my personal thoughts on the matter.

Understand this completely. Had to watch my wonderful Mum suffer as liver cancer killed her. Before she lost the ability to speak she asked my brother to get some pills, gather the family so that she could die in a way that she wanted to. I think it is unbelievably cruel to deny someone with a terminal illness that final choice. My wife and I happened to be at her bedside when did slip away - strangely it felt an immense privilege but that was a feeling denied to my brother and my Dad. We have to find a better way.

 

[zefarelly]

My Dad was dying in Worthing Hospital when I received a phone call at 8.30 to say he had taken a turn for the worse. The car was at the garage for an electrical fault, we had a courtesy car.
I rang my husband, set off from work, picked him up, packed a couple of bags, and went to the garage, who said it would be another hour. It was one of the longest hours in my life.
We finally got to Worthing around 3, where my StepMum & a cousin were with him. My cousin said, he’s been waiting for you.
He was completely unconscious, but I told him I was sorry for arriving late, but I was here now, and it was ok to let go.

He died soon after.

Sometimes, we have to let our dying loved ones know it is ok to let go. I have heard this a few times from other people.

Similar . . .my Dad was on his last legs in the hospice, semi concious. . .I told him I loved him and we'd have a little person on the way soon . . .

Dad died later that day. That was very nearly 20 years ago. . .Fortunately his suffering was brief, I know exatly what he'd have done, or wanted done had it not been!

Zef jr has just started Uni . . . There's a lot of dust in here! 🥹

 

[amexer]

What a difficult subject. I certainly would not want my family to remember me by months and months of me not been able to deal with personal hygiene and not even know who they are. I dont know if possible but would like to write something out while healthy that would like to be let go when I cant do certain things.

 

[The Clamp]

Euthanasia does exist in this country. It’s just way too late in the process.

I’m pretty certain the hospice nurses gave both my Mum and my Dad a hefty whack of morphine.

And I’m glad.

Should have happened months earlier for both of them.

 

[fly high]

Euthanasia does exist in this country. It’s just way too late in the process.

I’m pretty certain the hospice nurses gave both my Mum and my Dad a hefty whack of morphine.

And I’m glad.

Should have happened months earlier for both of them.

I do think this happens more often than we realise. Even 30 years ago a friend of Mum's was in hospital & crying/screaming out in pain, the doctor gave her pain killer, probably morphine, and she slipped away, the kindest thing he could do.

It's one thing for someone to choose to die if they only have a few weeks to live but many on here are talking about when people become incapacitated especially mentally, much more difficult to legislate for that & protect people who may not want to die yet. The could be pressurised into making a living will so they can be euthanised, it's not the same as assisted dying & very, very complex.

Equally even if you have been given less than 6 months to live they are not always right. Our vet was told he wouldn't make Christmas, he actually made five more Christmases, he would have missed out on so much if he'd jumped the gun.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

What a difficult subject. I certainly would not want my family to remember me by months and months of me not been able to deal with personal hygiene and not even know who they are. I dont know if possible but would like to write something out while healthy that would like to be let go when I cant do certain things.

My dad pissing right through a fabric armchair he was sat in in a shoe shop was a particular low point, the shop assistant asking if something in his bag had spilt, awful all round.

 

[A mex eyecan]

My dad pissing right through a fabric armchair he was sat in in a shoe shop was a particular low point, the shop assistant asking if something in his bag had spilt, awful all round.

it just breaks your heart, poor friends and relatives, poorer still the sufferer. The thought of losing dignity in such a way is beyond comprehension