email from the Halifax

[Bars Mar]

You cheating TWUNT. You've f***ing EDITED you Elder-cockmunching gimp.

How Dare You Accuse Me Of Cheating. I've Got A Reputation On This Board As (In Tony Blair's Words) "A Pretty Decent Sort Of Guy" And Would Never Resort To That.

Who The f*** Are You To Accuse Me. I've Got A Position Of Responsibility. I'm Not Likely To Make Up These Sort Of Things. I Was Brought Up To Respect The Law, Give Up Your Seat To Ladies, Be Honest In All Your Dealings And To Distrust The Irish. f*** You For Even Suggesting That. I'm f***ing Bars Mar, Sonny Jim. Not Some Two Bit Arsehole From The Sticks. You Are Now Officially On My List Of People Who I Would Like To Hurt.

C u n t.

 

[El Presidente]

Here's one that did work though

Dear Mr Knight

If you give my agent £100,000 I will score you lots of goals and take your Hove and Brighton Albion to the Premiershite.

With humble wishes

Maheta Molango

 

[Uncle Buck]

Its almost like Bars Mar is shouting at himself...

 

[Simster]

Here's one that did work though

Dear Mr Knight

If you give my agent £100,000 I will score you lots of goals and take your Hove and Brighton Albion to the Premiershite.

With humble wishes

Maheta Molango

Many salutations from Centre America Latino
I am an agent of football soccer player of professional extractions and have in my clients a player of Argentinan River Plata who will score goals for you at Premier One level.
He cost you just $150,000,000 GBP and is good player. If you take him, I give you $30,000 USD tax free (cannot explain) so is a good deal.

Please speak to hear me soon.

Carlos Arribiatta
(Agent de Frederico Turienzo)

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I think Edna is being rather dismissive of this email, and if this is an example of how she conducts her finances, then I fear she will come a cropper sooner rather than later. I find it disturbing that people simply ignore these warnings. They're only trying to help.

Click the link and sort it out Edna. It'll only take 5 minutes, and you'll have the peace of mind that your online banking experience will remain intact.

Thank you. Thank you very much. I have followed your advice, and am confident all will be well.

Thank God the rest of my £50k life savings are kept in a vase in the lounge, where no unscrupulous fraudster can touch them. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a nice man at the door asking me to go upstairs and turn on all the taps while he checks the water pressure.

 

[Easy 10]

Thank you. Thank you very much. I have followed your advice, and am confident all will be well.

Thank God the rest of my £50k life savings are kept in a vase in the lounge, where no unscrupulous fraudster can touch them. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a nice man at the door asking me to go upstairs and turn on all the taps while he checks the water pressure.

You are most welcome Edna.
And if you ever want to borrow £60, just approach me in a pub after my fourth pint and I will be only too happy to oblige.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

You are most welcome Edna.
And if you ever want to borrow £60, just approach me in a pub after my fourth pint and I will be only too happy to oblige.

Have you ever thought of applying for Nicky Campbell's job on Watchdog?

 

[Easy 10]

Have you ever thought of applying for Nicky Campbell's job on Watchdog?

I'd be lying if I said I had.
I'm not sure I rate highly enough on the smugometer to compete with the likes of Nicky Campbell.

 

[Cian]

You cheating TWUNT. You've f***ing EDITED you Elder-cockmunching gimp.

Except I said it in post 25 before he even came in to the thread...

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Many salutations from Centre America Latino
I am an agent of football soccer player of professional extractions and have in my clients a player of Argentinan River Plata who will score goals for you at Premier One level.
He cost you just $150,000,000 GBP and is good player. If you take him, I give you $30,000 USD tax free (cannot explain) so is a good deal.

Please speak to hear me soon.

Carlos Arribiatta
(Agent de Frederico Turienzo)

Oit, don't knock El God