Egg joke (not everyone will get it)

[Barrel of Fun]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the Russians.


Edit: Bollocks. Chechen. Why did the Chechen cross the road?

 

[nwgull]

Two nuns are sitting in a bath, one says 'where's the soap?', the other says, 'it does doesn't it!'.

 

[DumLum]

Man sitting in a restaurant, the waiter brings over a plate and puts it on the table in front of him, there are 2 black dots on the plate.

Man says "sorry, but I ordered an omlette"

I thought this was going to be my friend's favourite joke.

His Joke is this:

French bloke goes into a cafe and orders breakfast. He asks for two sausages, two slices of bacon, two tomatoes, two slices of fried bread and one fried egg. Only one egg because that's un oeuf.

He used to wet himself every time he told it to somebody new. Everbody else would be standing there shaking their heads.

 

[nomoremithras4me]

Going to be a struggle beating that joke

 

[Pbseagull]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.


Did you really 'get it'?

Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the chicken.

 

[Pbseagull]

Did you hear the one about the Agnostic,dyslexic,insomniac ?

He sat up all night wondering if there really was a Dog.

 

[Biscuit]

1/10.

I speak a little German and I'm presuming the joke here is umlaut sounds like omlett.

If this is the case you're pronouncing it very wrong.

 

[Biscuit]

Did you hear the one about the Agnostic,dyslexic,insomniac ?

He sat up all night wondering if there really was a Dog.

Now that's a joke.

 

[Pbseagull]

1/10.

I speak a little German and I'm presuming the joke here is umlaut sounds like omlett.

If this is the case you're pronouncing it very wrong.

I think he had a speech impediment

 

[Matrix10]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see Gregory Peck

 

[watsongooal]

Why do ducks have webbed feet.........


To stamp put Forest Fires

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

My five year old daughter's own version of the chicken joke?

Why did the pig cross the road?










Because he wanted to be a chicken.

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

How many Existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The act is pointless.

 

[Superphil]

1/10.

I speak a little German and I'm presuming the joke here is umlaut sounds like omlett.

If this is the case you're pronouncing it very wrong.

I wasn't pronouncing it in any particular way, if I recall it was a Stephen Wright line.
Anyway, oom-lout doesn't sound that different to Omelette.

 

[nwgull]

I wasn't pronouncing it in any particular way, if I recall it was a Stephen Wright line.
Anyway, oom-lout doesn't sound that different to Omelette.

This. Surely the potential for mia pronunciation is the whole point of the joke?!!!

 

[AMEXican Wave]

Man sitting in a restaurant, the waiter brings over a plate and puts it on the table in front of him, there are 2 black dots on the plate.

Man says "sorry, but I ordered an omlette"

Great yolk

 

[Alan Cundle]

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side......

 

[Albumen]

What are eggs least favourite board game?

Whisk.


Just made that up.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Why did the chicken have problems giving birth?

It was an eggtopic pregnancy.


Just made that up too - very appropriate username for the subject matter btw Albumen!

 

[Acker79]

Since everyone else is making up bad jokes...

How many brighton fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200:
1 to change it
98 to compliment him on how well he did it
1 to complain about how he did it
100 to complain about everyone moaning at how he changed the lightbulb.