Constipation

[Les Biehn]

He's looking for muscle relaxant not a proxy for a crow bar you frothing fountain of faggotry.

Should I say thank you to that? I'm not sure.

 

[clapham_gull]

Colpermin is marvellous and completely natural.

Problem with taking laxatives, or something to bung you up is that your bowel tends to over compensate and send you the other way.

Colpermin is basically a trouble shooter that goes into your lower turd factory and negotiates the problems.

 

[Les Biehn]

Nice use of the word negotiates.

 

[enigma]

He's looking for muscle relaxant not a proxy for a crow bar you frothing fountain of faggotry.

Still got gays on the brain eh? Some things never change.

 

[clapham_gull]

It's just concentrated peppermint oil, peppermint having medically proven "calming" properties on the lower bowel.

I was actually perscribed it and had to take it three weeks.

My arse was so minty fresh, people were asking to swallow my farts prior to going to interviews or first dates.

 

[*Gullsworth*]

Sit down as did the constipated mathematician..............and work it out with a pencil.....................................


































sorry wrong thread............1+1=2

 

[looney]

Bananas are full of carbohydrate, they will bung you up so ignore the idiot with the phallus fixation.

You need Pineapple juice to aid digestion and amyl nitrate, a few snorts of that and you'll soon be pebble dashing the walls.

Failing that buy safeway a beer, he'll stretch you a bit, allegedly.

 

[Goodfella]

A bar of Ex-Lax will do the jobbie Les.


But beware

 

[Dover]

Dave. Please drink plenty of water. This will soften the stool, via osmosis.

Senna is good to a point, but will only cause peristalstis after some hours after administration, due to it's composition.

If the stools are rock hard, whilst in the bowel, again they will be painful when being passed, hence the need to drink.

 

[Bwian]

Type 1 guv'nor.

You're not the Easter Bunny are you?

 

[Les Biehn]

The easter bunny actually delivers something.

 

[1066gull]

Fart it out

 

[enigma]

Bananas are full of carbohydrate, they will bung you up so ignore the idiot with the phallus fixation.

You need Pineapple juice to aid digestion and amyl nitrate, a few snorts of that and you'll soon be pebble dashing the walls.

Failing that buy safeway a beer, he'll stretch you a bit, allegedly.

Ignore the geek with no grasp of science.

"Bananas are high in fiber thereby including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, assisting in overcoming constipation without resorting to harsh laxatives."

http://www.nutricounter.com/articles/sanchez.htm

Owned again.

 

[tedebear]

Ignore the geek with no grasp of science.

"Bananas are high in fiber thereby including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, assisting in overcoming constipation without resorting to harsh laxatives."

http://www.nutricounter.com/articles/sanchez.htm

Owned again.

I disagree with that - Bananas are known to cause constipation in small kids, most HV's advise to eat them in moderation! Arthur certainly suffers from it..

 

[dougdeep]

Prunes are the answer, and I love them.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

My maths teacher used to have terrible constipation,





















Until He worked it out with a pencil.
coat.

 

[blockhseagull]

My maths teacher used to have terrible constipation,
Until He worked it out with a pencil.
coat.

really you should be fixtured for that joke

 

[zefarelly]

Real Ale

West Country Cider

 

[Lammy]

Coffee is a good one.

Lots of orange juice as Vit C is a laxative in large enough quantities.

Mints are also a laxitive if you eat a couple of packs of polos.

If you smoke then have a coffee and a smoke with an orange juice. Then eat a couple of packets of polos to freshen up.

Sit back and wait.

 

[Lammy]

Real Ale

West Country Cider

Real Cider is an excellent laxative. Often with quite violent effects!