Cheer up you fuckers, here's a joke...

[Hungry Joe]

Barrack Obama is visiting an Edinburgh hospital.
He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness,
He greets one.
The patient replies:

Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.

Obama is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.
The next patient responds:

Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the President moves
on to the next patient,
who immediately begins to chant:

Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle

Now seriously troubled, Obama turns to the accompanying doctor and
asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'
'No,' replies the doctor, 'this is the serious Burns unit.

 

[strings]

Made me laugh!

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Old FACT

 

[mr sheen]

I reckon every president since Woodrow Wilson has been made to visit that unit, plus a fair few prime ministers and assorted other dignitiaries. Glad to see Obama making the trip.

 

[Woodingdean Gull]

made me laugh.

 

[smudge]

At the same hospital, he enquired who was in the ward with the door padlocked. The doctor told him it was where the AIDS patients were kept.
"Really?" said the President, "What do they eat?"
The doctor told him, "Well, they have cheese on toast, beans on toast, scrambled egg on toast, fried egg on toast....."
The President interrupted, "They seem to eat an awful lot of toast".
So the doctors says, "Yes Mr President, it's all we can slide under the f***ing door!"

 

[Garage_Doors]

During the visit to the mental ward, Barrack Obama asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said Obama. "A normal person would use the bucket."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.

Do you want a bed near the window?"

 

[Hungry Joe]

Old FACT

Did you not read the thread title? It says "cheer up you fuckers, here's a joke!" not "cheer up you fuckers, here's a brand new cutting edge joke I guarantee no-one will have ever heard before!".

 

[Juan Albion]

Almost as amusing as the fact that both of you who referred to the first name of the most talked about, most powerful (supposedly) man in the world couldn't even spell it right.

 

[NMH]

Did you not read the thread title? It says "cheer up you fuckers, here's a joke!" not "cheer up you fuckers, here's a brand new cutting edge joke I guarantee no-one will have ever heard before!".

It's so ancient, that when Adam told it to Eve she grabbed an apple to shut him up and there began all the problems.

Otherwise - good one, Hungry.

 

[Hungry Joe]

Almost as amusing as the fact that both of you who referred to the first name of the most talked about, most powerful (supposedly) man in the world couldn't even spell it right.

Well excuse me for cut'n'pasting it without checking the spelling. Dear oh dear, you try cheering people up and this what you get. Up the meds you miserable bastards.

 

[Hungry Joe]

It's so ancient, that when Adam told it to Eve she grabbed an apple to shut him up and there began all the problems.

Otherwise - good one, Hungry.

Shut up