Caption competition

[Pavilionaire]

"Easy boys, I didn't know you wanted Heskey out that badly!"

 

[On the Left Wing]

Crouch rehearses for "Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy Two" as Zaphodbeeblebrox's younger brother - the Alien with three bodies

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

"Easy boys, I didn't know you wanted Heskey out that badly!"

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

'Well he might play like a donkey, but he's not hung like one'

 

[Silent Bob]

I actually stole this picture from a BBC caption competition.

Here are the winners of said BBC competition...

Big Bird loses his head as the "England branded" Sesame Street counting song goes wrong.

Outright winner. Shite

SAY WHAT YOU SEE

CATEGORY WINNER: The elaborate celebrations to spell out Crouch's height were a half-success.
Christine Dagger, Canada

RUNNER-UP: That's it lads, hide me until I can get my shorts up again.
Nick Fowler, UK

PUN FUN

CATEGORY WINNER: All looks well at the film premiere of Crouch is Hiding Hidden Talent.
Chris Halliwell, England

RUNNER-UP: 'Pack and the Beanstalk'.
Sandy G, UK

MISCELLANEOUS

CATEGORY WINNER: As the England players scrambled for tickets on the plane to Germany, Crouch emerges from the huddle and celebrates bagging an aisle seat.
Paul Herbert, Bournemouth

RUNNER-UP: Sven's new formation appears to be rugby influenced but only Frank Lampard in the Number 8 shirt seems to know where he's meant to be!
Jon Ball, England

SUR-REALLY GREAT

CATEGORY WINNER: Crouch: ..."yeah the M52 Northbound looks congested, possibly adding an extra five minutes to your journey..."
Neil White, England

RUNNER-UP: The England players hold aloft the trophy in the inaugural Peter Crouch cup.
Raymond Li, Manchester

TOTALLY TOPICAL TASTE

CATEGORY WINNER: Crouch and Owen just needed Gerrard's number 4 to complete the human Sudoku puzzle!
Graeme, Scotland

RUNNER-UP: In the panic after losing to Northern Ireland, only Crouch kept his head.
Dave Clapworthy, UK

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

CATEGORY WINNER: Big Bird loses his head as the "England branded" Sesame Street counting song goes wrong.
Stuart Dempsey, Herts

RUNNER-UP: Yet again, Jamie Theakston manages some free publicity.
Bev Kemp, Croydon

REGULARS' CAP COMP BANTER

CATEGORY WINNER: "I can see Si's yacht from here."
Sam, UK

RUNNER-UP: I was going to press "enlarge image" but what's the point when Crouch is in the picture?
Andrew Williams, England

All shite

We did better than that.