Best Man Speech

[Gordon the Gopher]

Carried out a similar duty very recently!

www.hitched.co.uk

Over 1000 examples, look for the 5 star rated ones and then personalise to your hearts content!

 

[NMH]

Don't try to make a 'verbatim' speech, word perfect - just make it along lines of subject.

Keep blessings in it for both parties, and as a couple. (i.e. don't alienate one for the sake of a laugh or two from the other).

If you make jokes where they are the subject, do some that are self-deprecating too. Avoid direct references to sex, as their parents probably don't want to think about that too much, either. A best man doesn't need to make the father of the bride think his daughter is in any way getting associated with uncultured heathen!

Remember it is a room of people you are speaking to and for - not just a certain cross-section. So no bad language if Granma won't like it, or the little shy 5yr-old bridesmaid will feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.

Don't get those drinks down your neck until after the speech. Drunks are rarely articulate or funny, or remember what they said that make people turn their backs on them for the rest of time.

Don't be bothered by putting in some appreciative stuff - doesn't have to be sycophantic, but remember it is their special day in the limelight, they are allowed to bask in the extra attention for the day.

 

[NMH]

P.S. I performed the actual task of ministering a wedding of two friends - a semi-Jewish ceremony (but not devout).
I think I was a LOT more nervous than the couple I was marrying!

What didn't help, was that the groom insisted I read a personal speech that he had written - from my aspect! I was supposed to read it word for word, and it made me feel tense to do that I must say.

So, there ya go - it's Rabbi Hilter to you!

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

I was appointed best man at my brother's wedding last month. Ten minutes before I was supposed to make the speech.

Worse still, it was in India, so the jokes had to be amusing to a load of old ladies in saris. I suddenly felt EXTREMELY drunk, but wiffled on about how great my brother was, a quick and amusing upsum of how he met his wife. My payoff was something like: "And I think we can all learn a lot from the words of Noddy Holder, who said: 'Look to the future now, it's only just begun'".

 

[NMH]

I was appointed best man at my brother's wedding last month. Ten minutes before I was supposed to make the speech.

Worse still, it was in India, so the jokes had to be amusing to a load of old ladies in saris. I suddenly felt EXTREMELY drunk, but wiffled on about how great my brother was, a quick and amusing upsum of how he met his wife. My payoff was something like: "And I think we can all learn a lot from the words of Noddy Holder, who said: 'Look to the future now, it's only just begun'".

Did they then puke on their sarongs?

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Luckily, they didn't know what the f*** I was on about.

 

[Withdean11]

'' its hard to think that 20 years ago ..(the brides name).. parents were sending her to bed with a dummy.... and now?''

 

[Jimbo26]

On the 7th Oct I have the duty of giving a best mans speech. Now Im ok with it, but I could do with some tips or some quality one liners.

Help!

Just say his wife looks lovely, sit down and carry on drinking

 

[Lady Bracknell]

If telling jokes doesn't come naturally then be very cautious. The audience might be very entertained by watching you stumble through a series of gags that haven't been learned quite well enough. But then again, they might not.

So if you have any doubts about your prowess as a comedian, go for anecdotes instead.

 

[NMH]

Ask her to get 'em out one last time, for the lads.

 

[itszamora]

i first met the groom when he knocked on my door and tried to sell me a vacuum cleaner. i thought 'thats all i need... a je-hoovers witness!'

I'm sorry, but that was TERRIBLE!

 

[Cian]

Ignore Harveys, he's trying to ruin it for you.

Drink as much as you possibly can before your turn.
Make sure you use any embarrassing stories you have about the groom.
Compliment the bride on how good she looks, but then back it up by saying how rough she normally looks. Make reference to her mother at this point if you want.
Thank the bridesmaids, but then make a lewd comment about thanking the chief bridesmaid properly later.
Propose a toast to the happy couple, then use the wrong names.
Head for the bar.

You're a divorce lawyer, right?