Best Insults (on here or wherever)

[Worthingite]

What is the best (creative) insults that you've seen recently? I'm not talking sweary or aggressive. For instance recently on here, I saw someone call someone or something a "cack wizard", which (and thank you to the person who said it first) is now a firm part of my vocabulary.

Anyone got any others they'd like to share, or even create?!?! Couple of quick rules: No Swearing and no using them directly at anyone posting on here

 

[Gonzo]

Cock juggling thundercunt!

 

[Norman Potting]

Spawny eyed wassock. Comes of a novelty record but I forget by whom.

 

[Worthingite]

Cock juggling thundercunt!

LOVE IT!!!! Swearing in context is allowed, I've decided

 

[misterspatch]

Monkeyschlong is one of my favourites.

 

[backson]

My older brothers remind me of when I was about 5, and they (being older brothers) would wind me up, with me, getting angrier and angrier, responding with the worst thing a five year old mind could come up with....

..... COWBAG!

 

[Norman Potting]

I would like to hear more of words such as poltroon, blackguard, rapscallion, buffoon and hobbledy de hoy.

Not an insult I know but I have a fond recollection from the last Withdean Season. A couple of rows in front of me someone got an ear bashing because of their foul language. A few minutes later and a dodgy decision led to a shout of "referee, that was preposterous" much to everyone's amusement. I believe that he perpetrator posts on here.

 

[Seagull on the wing]

From Navy days...(Far East)...'Nagasaki Ju-Ju'....

 

[Razzoo]

Spawny eyed wassock. Comes of a novelty record but I forget by whom.

Was it by Tony Capstick?

 

[Mutts Nuts]

What is the best (creative) insults that you've seen recently? I'm not talking sweary or aggressive. For instance recently on here, I saw someone call someone or something a "cack wizard", which (and thank you to the person who said it first) is now a firm part of my vocabulary.

Anyone got any others they'd like to share, or even create?!?! Couple of quick rules: No Swearing and no using them directly at anyone posting on here

Mother fcuker, for palace

 

[StonehamPark]

Stupid head.

 

[Vatican Citys No.2 Keeper]

Cock juggling thundercunt!

First thing that popped into my head also. Thread Closed

 

[smudge]

From Navy days...(Far East)...'Nagasaki Ju-Ju'....

Ahem, I believe you are thinking of the descriptive term for "morning after mouth" & also mixing 2!

A) I've got a mouth like a Nagasaki Bomb Dodgers Flip Flop.
B) I've got a mouth like a South African Witch Doctor's leather ju ju bag.

Ok, you Melt! (That's my favourite term of abuse at the moment).

No offence meant of course!

 

[Captain Haddock]

Smorgasbord of smeg.

Puss-sucking dribbler.

Boil on the butt of humanity.

Stench-ridden tramp's trousers.

Bollock-scratching Neanderthal.

Cack-munching breath-monster

Palace fan.

 

[Captain Haddock]

"It's / he's an accident waiting to happen!"

"Well you're one that already has!"

 

[Worthingite]

Palace fan.

Surely the winner?

 

[Box of Frogs]

Ahem, I believe you are thinking of the descriptive term for "morning after mouth" & also mixing 2!

A) I've got a mouth like a Nagasaki Bomb Dodgers Flip Flop.
B) I've got a mouth like a South African Witch Doctor's leather ju ju bag.

Ok, you Melt! (That's my favourite term of abuse at the moment).

No offence meant of course!

C) I've got a mouth like a Turkish wrestlers jock strap.

 

[Captain Haddock]

...and one lifted from beyond the Captain's table, from Stewart Lee....and I (probably Mis-)quote:


Adrian Chiles looks like a Toby jug brimming over with hot piss.

 

[Worthingite]

I would like to hear more of words such as poltroon, blackguard, rapscallion, buffoon and hobbledy de hoy.

There is a lot to be said for 19th Century swearing.

Ahoyhoy you hobbledy hoy

 

[Captain Haddock]

Surely the winner?

Too strong?