Best Excuse For Calling A Sickie?

[malcolm prescott]

best one I ever heard was could not come in my wife cut the solders to big and I could not get them in the egg

 

[Marshy]

The shits or a migraine either are totally immpossible to disprove.

 

[Simon Morgan]

food poisoning's quite a good one.

 

[algie]

Boston game

W

 

[Meade's Ball]

I came to work for a week for the first time in 11 months and 10 days last week. I hadn't called in personally to tell work i was in a coma last November and probably couldn't make it in on Monday to seal envelopes or make jokes about how dead my dad is. They were very understanding though and respected my choice of spasticitis instead of bodily old age and sour childish jest.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

The best excuse i ever used and one the boss never even asked for a medical certificate for cause i think he was too embarrassed was....

"Hi Boss, gotta go into the Dr's my left testicles gone up into my stomach and i can't get it back down."



Worked a treat and had a lovely day at the beach that day.

 

[Charles 'Charley' Charles]

I don't get sick pay so if I want a day off it's "I'm not coming into today, going to have a duvet day"

 

[British Bulldog]

"Hi Boss, gotta go into the Dr's my left testicles gone up into my stomach and i can't get it back down."

That's one for the memory bank!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Ghanaian lad I once worked with phoned in sick one day claiming to be in the grip of a 'general malaise'. He was known as General Malaise from that day on.

 

[Happy Seagull]

I bunked off work once by saying i had a dodgy stomach. Got caught coming back from the kebab shop later that evening by the bosses son. Managed to convince him my kebab was actually a doctors prescription

 

[e77]

I was once late for work becuase there was a dead body in my doorway!

 

[pasty]

I once knew a guy who used these 3 little gems for being late in.

Taking my kid school he broke his shoe lace, so I had to give him one of mine then wait for the shops to open so I could buy some more.

Taking the dog for a walk, he lurched after a poodle and as he was still on the lead I suffered whiplash.

And my favourite of his......Getting ready for work in the bathroom, I used too much moisturiser on my hands and couldn't open the bathroom door

 

[Croydonbloke]

The summer of 1986 I had to go sick for a month because I got attacked by a caterpillar that fell out of my apple tree when I was mowing the lawn. The bleeding thing left me with a chicken pox type rash all over my body & the doctor told me to cover myself all over in calamine lotion, Needed anti biotics as well. As it coincided with the world cup nobody at work believed me.

Did you have butterflies in your stomach before calling work!!!!!

 

[Rangdo]

I used to work with a guy who phoned in and said he couldn't come in as he had no dry underwear. Not strictly a sickie but funny nontheless.

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

The "on the blob" excuse works like a treat everytime

 

[The Wookiee]

Just say your son/daughter is ill and you have to stay home to look after them.

In the spirit of equal work life balance there is not alot they can say!

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

The "on the blob" excuse works like a treat everytime

"I can't come to work because I'm menstruating"??

Wouldn't wash with me, lassie.

I phoned my employer on Friday and told them I was having a week off because I'd broken my elbow tripping over a fence. Sadly for me, this was true

 

[desprateseagull]

walking to work some tine ago, i once found a handbag on the pavement, with its contents spilt all over.. i wanted to do the decent thing and return to the owner, but house was opposite direction..

that was better option, than walking through the centre of brighton with a handbag i am sure!

sadly all the cash had been nicked, but the grateful lady gave me a can of drink as thanks- a good deed for the day.

crappy boss didnt understand at all.