Bell Cheeses at work

[mikeyjh]

I have an irrational hatred of people who feel the need to use 2 screens, their laptop AND the monitor showing different applications. It's called WINDOWS you cluckwits, running multiple apps is what it's for, it's been around for some time now. You're not ****ing wall street traders FFS.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I feel your pain, there's a gaggle of rotund warblers here who insist in talking in accents (regional AND foreign) or occasional French (why is it always French?!) phrases for no reason whatsoever.

I hate them. So much.

I hear you, brother.

"Carol, can you send this parcel to the customer at Aberdeen, please?"

"A-burr-deeeen.....A-burr-DEEEEN"

FFS. Shut up. Shut. Up.

"Ooh. I forgot. Moike, from Oirland left a message for you. To be sure"

Kill me.

 

[Badger]

I have an irrational hatred of people who feel the need to use 2 screens, their laptop AND the monitor showing different applications. It's called WINDOWS you cluckwits, running multiple apps is what it's for, it's been around for some time now. You're not ****ing wall street traders FFS.

I have to disagree with this, I'd find it a lot more difficult to do my job with just one screen. I am a software developer so I guess I've got a valid reason for it.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I have to disagree with this, I'd find it a lot more difficult to do my job with just one screen. I am a software developer so I guess I've got a valid reason for it.

+1. If Mike wants to pop round and have a go at doing my CAD drawings on the laptop screen, he's welcome to try!

 

[Papa Lazarou]

I have an irrational hatred of people who feel the need to use 2 screens, their laptop AND the monitor showing different applications. It's called WINDOWS you cluckwits, running multiple apps is what it's for, it's been around for some time now. You're not ****ing wall street traders FFS.

I get more annoyed with people who use a 2 screen system (possibly with a docked laptop) and additional screen and have the same windows showing on both. A complete waste of a dual screen setup.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

I hear you, brother.

"Carol, can you send this parcel to the customer at Aberdeen, please?"

"A-burr-deeeen.....A-burr-DEEEEN"

FFS. Shut up. Shut. Up.

"Ooh. I forgot. Moike, from Oirland left a message for you. To be sure"

Kill me.

I may have mentioned this earlier in the thread but the day they were organising a team meal at an Italian restaurant was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

The icing on the cake was when they decided to adopt Italian names for the evening and someone suggested D'artagnan. No-one even noticed the slight issue there. I could have wept.

On the plus side they've left now. On the downside, I'm now stuck here until 6 with the people that actually finish at 4 but are 'just so busy with IMPORTANT things' that they have to stay and discuss how bad it is that they have to stay late. Though as this seems to be done solely to allow this discussion to take place I'm a little baffled. They'll bugger off soon without touching the keyboard once yet inevitably saying something like 'that's it, I've given enough this week'. Utter tosspots.

 

[mikeyjh]

+1. If Mike wants to pop round and have a go at doing my CAD drawings on the laptop screen, he's welcome to try!

Bollards to the pair of you, you arttfartynonces.

Seriously, these people are in finance, typically they'll have Excel on 1 screen and Outlook on the other. Muppets.

 

[Norman Potting]

I may have mentioned this earlier in the thread but the day they were organising a team meal at an Italian restaurant was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

The icing on the cake was when they decided to adopt Italian names for the evening and someone suggested D'artagnan. No-one even noticed the slight issue there. I could have wept.

On the plus side they've left now. On the downside, I'm now stuck here until 6 with the people that actually finish at 4 but are 'just so busy with IMPORTANT things' that they have to stay and discuss how bad it is that they have to stay late. Though as this seems to be done solely to allow this discussion to take place I'm a little baffled. They'll bugger off soon without touching the keyboard once yet inevitably saying something like 'that's it, I've given enough this week'. Utter tosspots.

I identified this sub genre over 30 yrs ago when I was a callow youth working for a high street bank - the sub manager fitted this category which I named "people who are never too busy to come and talk to you for ages on how busy they are". Catchy eh?

 

[mikeyjh]

I get more annoyed with people who use a 2 screen system (possibly with a docked laptop) and additional screen and have the same windows showing on both. A complete waste of a dual screen setup.

That as well, probably haven't figured out how not to put laptop to sleep when they close the lid.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

I identified this sub genre over 30 yrs ago when I was a callow youth working for a high street bank - the sub manager fitted this category which I named "people who are never too busy to come and talk to you for ages on how busy they are". Catchy eh?

It rolls off the tongue, even better in acronym form though (including the smaller words); PWANTBTCATTYFAOHBTA

I like to think of them as chronic sufferers of USI*, a crippling condition that can cause sufferers to feel unfulfilled, stressed and, most tragically, make everyone hate them.

*Unwarranted Self Importance

 

[Papa Lazarou]

That as well, probably haven't figured out how not to put laptop to sleep when they close the lid.

Or how to go to extended desktop and get say, email on 1 screen and excel on the other.

 

[Lower West Stander]

*PET HATE ALERT*

The IT/Infrastructure manager has recently decided that everyone in the office should overhear BOTH sides of his phone conversations. Apparently if you're "really important" it's absolutely fine to set your phone to speaker and make sure all the people around you know that you're doing IMPORTANT work.

This is the same guy who only seems to be able to speak a mixture of technical bulls**t and business bulls**t. I'm a software developer so I'm pretty technical myself, but I rarely have any idea what he's BANGING on about. There's a lot to be said for just speaking to people in plain ENGLISH, in the same way you would outside work.

Unbelievable variation on this in my office yesterday.

My desk is next to a series of meeting rooms each with a conferencing "spider". Yesterday, a guy who had come over from our London office decided to use it for conference call and proceeded to leave the door WIDE OPEN because the room was "a bit stuffy". So we all had to listen until the guy next to me lost patience and theatrically slammed the door shut.

How we all laughed.....

 

[crasher]

Love this thread - here's my first contribution.

What the **** is it with the woman who can't just sit on a chair normally? In a meeting again with her today and she has to either:

(a) fold her legs under her on the chair seat like she's eight years old
(b) slouch across two chairs at an angle of 45 degrees
(c) put her feet on a chair that no one else is using

JUST SIT THE **** UP STRAIGHT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND CONCENTRATE!

I don't know if it's supposed to signify that she's creative and non-corporate or that she's so at home at work that it's like being at home or what. But it's insanely, mind-bendingly irritating. And, inevitably, everything she has to contribute is useless or negative or both.

 

[dazzer6666]

Bollards to the pair of you, you arttfartynonces.

Seriously, these people are in finance, typically they'll have Excel on 1 screen and Outlook on the other. Muppets.

Wrong. Work on one screen, NSC on the other

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Full on shitfest this morning. Headache didn't help. Noise machine is filing, which means BUSTLING about, everywhere alternating between humming songs from musicals, and SIGHING as though some HUGE distaster has unfolded. Crisp monster has just seen off what could only be described as a SACK of crisps. And to put the cherry on the shitty cake, the impossibly cheerful bloke who comes in to stock our charity sweet box / fridge has breezed in and started kicking a ball for the flaming DOG, which as a result has gone mental.

I'm out at lunch. Not decided if I can face going back. Not taken a genuine sickie since I was at school 30 years ago. Today might be the day.

 

[nwgull]

I cannot believe some of the shit you have to put up with in the office. A dog for ****s sake?!!

Every office has a sighing woman by the way; I'm sat next to the one in my current office.

 

[Badger]

Full on shitfest this morning. Headache didn't help. Noise machine is filing, which means BUSTLING about, everywhere alternating between humming songs from musicals, and SIGHING as though some HUGE distaster has unfolded. Crisp monster has just seen off what could only be described as a SACK of crisps. And to put the cherry on the shitty cake, the impossibly cheerful bloke who comes in to stock our charity sweet box / fridge has breezed in and started kicking a ball for the flaming DOG, which as a result has gone mental.

I'm out at lunch. Not decided if I can face going back. Not taken a genuine sickie since I was at school 30 years ago. Today might be the day.

Oh wow, events have conspired to produce the perfect STORM. All you can do in that situation is grin and bear it whilst PLOTTING subtle revenge.

 

[The Fifth Column]

Full on shitfest this morning. Headache didn't help. Noise machine is filing, which means BUSTLING about, everywhere alternating between humming songs from musicals, and SIGHING as though some HUGE distaster has unfolded. Crisp monster has just seen off what could only be described as a SACK of crisps. And to put the cherry on the shitty cake, the impossibly cheerful bloke who comes in to stock our charity sweet box / fridge has breezed in and started kicking a ball for the flaming DOG, which as a result has gone mental.

I'm out at lunch. Not decided if I can face going back. Not taken a genuine sickie since I was at school 30 years ago. Today might be the day.

Throw a sickie and claim the dog has bought you out in hives and you think you may be allergic to it.

 

[Cian]

a 26 year old fat ginger lad who had a massive coke addiction

Which type of coke? Would have assumed one from banking but the other from fat. Rare to see a fat gakhead!

Here we've a saleswoman on the dear kind, and the accountant on the kind that causes her door to get wedged shut with occasional collapses of silver cans from all her hiding places.

 

[Notters]

Just when I when I thought I worked in the perfect office, the office manager has brought her dog in and it's running rings round the whole office, whilst everyone (except me) runs after it cooing.