Bell Cheeses at work

[hans kraay fan club]

I'm not actually in the office arena at the moment, but I'm guessing that many of you must have said bell cheeses who are rabbiting onabout Valentine's Day/50 shades of grey like a bunch of drunk hen night casualties

Grief.

If the two fat noise monsters in my place started talking about anything vaguely sexual, I'd have to go home sick

 

[mr sheen]

Reading through the past few pages have reminded me why this is quite simply the best thread on NSC. Reading the workplace rants of others is amazingly cathartic. I'm a little upset that since moving jobs there is a distinct lack of bell cheese action in my new office to report back on. Early days though....

If you can't identify the bell cheese in the office..........

 

[Gwylan]

Reading through the past few pages have reminded me why this is quite simply the best thread on NSC. Reading the workplace rants of others is amazingly cathartic. I'm a little upset that since moving jobs there is a distinct lack of bell cheese action in my new office to report back on. Early days though....

I love this thread as well even though I work from home as a freelancer. I've been lucky in my life and have generally worked in decent workplaces and am still friends with a lot of people from various offices; this thread has served to remind me just how lucky I've been

 

[Badger]

Reading through the past few pages have reminded me why this is quite simply the best thread on NSC. Reading the workplace rants of others is amazingly cathartic. I'm a little upset that since moving jobs there is a distinct lack of bell cheese action in my new office to report back on. Early days though....

That's the thing, imagine working in an office with NO bell cheeses, it would just be boring. We all hate them but we'd hate it if we didn't have anyone to get irritated by, it's in our GENES.

i remember a quiet well spoken geek many years ago at an office i worked at....he never went on the doo's or socials......one xmas after some years a group of seniors confronted him and asked..............

"Simon, tell us why you never come on partys, meals, or socials? whats the problem?"

"To be honest, I just think your all a bunch of *****" .....and then he walked off back to some bespoke programming. (he was too good to be fired).

i loved that guy

HERO

 

[spring hall convert]

i remember a quiet well spoken geek many years ago at an office i worked at....he never went on the doo's or socials......one xmas after some years a group of seniors confronted him and asked..............

"Simon, tell us why you never come on partys, meals, or socials? whats the problem?"

"To be honest, I just think your all a bunch of *****" .....and then he walked off back to some bespoke programming. (he was too good to be fired).

i loved that guy

My stock response is "I spend x hours per week with you though no real choice of my own, what possible reason would I have to increase that?"

But smile with it.

PS - You might have to change your username.

 

[Goldstone1976]

Great thread - tempted to make another NSC account just to contributes a my username is traceable in theory...!

I'll be sure to keep an eye out for a brand new poster posting on this thread and then linking that account to this one for you, free of charge. You're welcome.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

i remember a quiet well spoken geek many years ago at an office i worked at....he never went on the doo's or socials......one xmas after some years a group of seniors confronted him and asked..............

"Simon, tell us why you never come on partys, meals, or socials? whats the problem?"

"To be honest, I just think your all a bunch of *****" .....and then he walked off back to some bespoke programming. (he was too good to be fired).

i loved that guy

Clearly something of a hero, his actions are fully worthy of both respect and admiration.

 

[Cian]

Due to working in a radio station, we occasionally get "celebs" in for various reasons.

Today, we had Louis Walshs latest pathetic cavalcade of teenagers that seem to exist solely as a middle aged wet dream in.

I'd prefer the noise machine and the compulsive eater crossed with the sigher above over having to do those twenty minutes again.

 

[Adders1]

Now if we're going to talk about OLD jobs.....

I don't post on this much because I largely work from home or travel to client sites to have meetings with people who I don't mind and, in any case, pay me. However, my first job was at a long defunct local Building Society. In our team there were three blokes and nine women. The three blokes were me, some incredibly posh bloke called Giles who'd been very, very naughty at public school and was on his way back from disgrace and my boss who looked like a tortoise and who you had to occasionally prod to make sure he hadn't died (though he was such a long standing Tory Party member you really only had to shout "NEIL KINNOCK" very loudly to f*** his day up). The rest were all women between about 28 and 40 who had the following lines of conversation:

1) What their husband had done yesterday
2) What their kid had done yesterday
3) How they really, really didn't want more kids
4) How they really, really did want more kids
5) How good their husband was in bed
6) How bad their husband was in bed
7) How rude that elderly customer had been when you'd mentioned their home could be repossessed (interest rates were 15% at the time).

Luckily they were taken over and they paid me off enough to leave that I spent a summer alternating between Ibiza and the bookies before getting a proper job.

Sounds very familiar.

 

[BBassic]

Good grief, today is testing my patience.

I'm sandwiched between someone who must think they're keyboard has wronged them and the only response is to beat it to death and a guy who slurps his tea.

 

[dazzer6666]

Good grief, today is testing my patience.

I'm sandwiched between someone who must think they're keyboard has wronged them and the only response is to beat it to death and a guy who slurps his tea.

That person is often on my train in the morning. Tap, tap, tappity, tap, tap...........gaahhhhhhhhhhhh !

 

[Badger]

Good grief, today is testing my patience.

I'm sandwiched between someone who must think they're keyboard has wronged them and the only response is to beat it to death and a guy who slurps his tea.

May I suggest the following:

Invest in some headphones which LEAK loads of sound and make sure you've got them turned up to a good level when you wear them at your desk.
Ensure that the headphones are left ON whenever you leave your desk.
Turn on the KEYTONES on your phone, as loud as they will go.

 

[dazzer6666]

May I suggest the following:

Invest in some headphones which LEAK loads of sound and make sure you've got them turned up to a good level when you wear them at your desk.
Ensure that the headphones are left ON whenever you leave your desk.
Turn on the KEYTONES on your phone, as loud as they will go.

Normal Apple earphones should do the trick, they're gash.

 

[BBassic]

Good grief, today is testing my patience.

I'm sandwiched between someone who must think they're keyboard has wronged them and the only response is to beat it to death and a guy who slurps his tea.

God, it's so bad I used the wrong version of 'their'. Shameface.

 

[dazzer6666]

God, it's so bad I used the wrong version of 'their'. Shameface.

Stress induced grammatical faux pas. Entirely understandable. It's his fault, not yours.

 

[Badger]

Normal Apple earphones should do the trick, they're gash.

Indeed, especially the early ones, I think other people hear more of the (nearly always awful) music than the person actually wearing them.

 

[BBassic]

May I suggest the following:

Invest in some headphones which LEAK loads of sound and make sure you've got them turned up to a good level when you wear them at your desk.
Ensure that the headphones are left ON whenever you leave your desk.
Turn on the KEYTONES on your phone, as loud as they will go.

I'm going for this. My headphones are good at noise leakage at high volumes. Currently forcing the latest Slipknot album on them.

Revenge shall be mine!

 

[BlockDpete]

My work place seems a model of serenity then. But then its mostly blokes up here, maybe thats the key?

Chap who walks around yelling into his phone is only here on Fridays it seems.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

I'm going for this. My headphones are good at noise leakage at high volumes. Currently forcing the latest Slipknot album on them.

Revenge shall be mine!

There is, right now (probably), someone typing (angrily) on the 'Smash Your Keyboard' forum about how the guy next to him at work is doing his head in due to his leaking earphones.

You've become one of them.

 

[Danny-Boy]

Sounds more like Legal & General Kingswood to me...

I did an audit there once..more years ago than I care to think about. Back when they had "Computer Departments"...