Being in your 40s

[el punal]

I think I would be right to say that there are a fair few of us aged between 40-49 on the board who have grown up with it.

My mum always said her favourite decade was her 40s and supposedly life begins at 40. Yet I can't help feeling it absolutely blows.

More people you know start to die than get married or have kids. Bits stop working, injury happens more often and every tingle reminds you that you're not immortal (which you were in your 20s as everyone knows). You have to watch your weight, take pills and shop much ,more carefully for clothes that say neither "hipster dick" nor "tweedy old man". You can no longer run that 13 second 100 metres yet your stupid brain insists that you can and that you achieved that time regularly in the past.

Everyone shouts at you. You piss people off all the time. You've either taken on too much at work in an effort to once and for all nail that career or you're stuck in a dead end existence being mocked by 25 year old graduates. You may well have kids and if you do they definitely shout at you because they will be older than babies and (probably) younger than 20. If you don't have kids you may have a partner who resents you for it by now. Or a partner starting the menopause. Or one having a mid life crisis. Or all of the above.

At least you probably have enough money to treat this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle, If you don't have enough for booze you will feel a failure.

Or is this just me?

Does it get any better in your 50s? .

It's you! Just enjoy it. Every decade has it's good and bad bits, some to endure and some to enjoy. The fact is, as you get older, you can be more disgraceful and get away with it. Believe me I've tried it and it works - never had so much fun. Oh bugger! I'm starting to dribble again.

 

[The Clamp]

I'm 40 next year. About two years ago it started to concern me. I wasn't doing what I wanted career wise, I wasn't living where I wanted to live, I wasn't fit and I was unhappy. I decided that this is not how I'm going into my 40's. I spent two years doing a job I hated, saved and saved and got out of where I was and back to Sussex. I left the job and set up on my own. I got fit.
I'm not 100% where I want to be in my business but it takes time but I'm so glad I decided to make the change and ready myself before my 40's. I can honestly say that through a bit of determination I am now not dreading my 40's as I once was. Fingers crossed it'll keep getting better!

 

[Murray 17]

Is anyone else on this thread looking at peoples' ages and thinking, "they're the same age as me, I wonder if I know them?"

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Is anyone else on this thread looking at peoples' ages and thinking, "they're the same age as me, I wonder if I know them?"

I reckon they're all thinking "Herr Tubthumper, 48, never"......or maybe not.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I was also given this advice in my 20's which is probably the best I've ever heard

'Get as high as you can in your career by the age of 40 because after that you will not care'

Ain't that the truth.

I recommend ignoring the "in your career by the age of 40 because after that you will not care" bit.

 

[dazzer6666]

I think I would be right to say that there are a fair few of us aged between 40-49 on the board who have grown up with it.

My mum always said her favourite decade was her 40s and supposedly life begins at 40. Yet I can't help feeling it absolutely blows.

More people you know start to die than get married or have kids. Bits stop working, injury happens more often and every tingle reminds you that you're not immortal (which you were in your 20s as everyone knows). You have to watch your weight, take pills and shop much ,more carefully for clothes that say neither "hipster dick" nor "tweedy old man". You can no longer run that 13 second 100 metres yet your stupid brain insists that you can and that you achieved that time regularly in the past.

Everyone shouts at you. You piss people off all the time. You've either taken on too much at work in an effort to once and for all nail that career or you're stuck in a dead end existence being mocked by 25 year old graduates. You may well have kids and if you do they definitely shout at you because they will be older than babies and (probably) younger than 20. If you don't have kids you may have a partner who resents you for it by now. Or a partner starting the menopause. Or one having a mid life crisis. Or all of the above.

At least you probably have enough money to treat this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle, If you don't have enough for booze you will feel a failure.

Or is this just me?

Does it get any better in your 50s? .

Turned 50 this year. Agree with most of what you say. I found some kind of enlightenment a couple of years ago when I realised I didn't want to progress at work any more. I took a few months out, took another job at the same level I really enjoy and because I'm not interested in progression I can avoid most of the BS that goes with trying to climb the greasy pole, I can have a better work life balance 'ooh you're going home early'........'yes I am. Byeee') and frankly if I think something is crap in the office I'll say so rather than worrying about upsetting someone who might have some say in my future.

Being financially comfortable (at least able to do most things we want), trying to stay moderately fit and active and kind of living for today, things are pretty ok really. The big difference, at least psychologically, was removing most of the stress at work. Much happier at 50 than I was at 40, probably feel younger if anything. Hang in there !

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Turned 50 this year. Agree with most of what you say. I found some kind of enlightenment a couple of years ago when I realised I didn't want to progress at work any more. I took a few months out, took another job at the same level I really enjoy and because I'm not interested in progression I can avoid most of the BS that goes with trying to climb the greasy pole, I can have a better work life balance 'ooh you're going home early'........'yes I am. Byeee') and frankly if I think something is crap in the office I'll say so rather than worrying about upsetting someone who might have some say in my future.

Being financially comfortable (at least able to do most things we want), trying to stay moderately fit and active and kind of living for today, things are pretty ok really. The big difference, at least psychologically, was removing most of the stress at work. Much happier at 50 than I was at 40, probably feel younger if anything. Hang in there !

I took a decision to ditch commuting about 10 years ago and there's a definite correlation to my happiness and this. I had just over an an hour a day each way and then I suddenly had an extra 20 plus hours a week to myself. That made a huge difference. I now commute 10 minutes on my bicycle which I love.

 

[dazzer6666]

I took a decision to ditch commuting about 10 years ago and there's a definite correlation to my happiness and this. I had just over an an hour a day each way and then I suddenly had an extra 20 plus hours a week to myself. That made a huge difference. I now commute 10 minutes on my bicycle which I love.

Completely see that....when I took my new job I wanted two days a week at home. It makes a huge difference to quality of life

 

[Dancin Ninja BHA]

My son (who is only five) recently asked me, "Would you like to be a kid again?" to which I replied "No chance!"

I love the fact I was born in 74, had my childhood and teenage years in the 80s, and had an amazing 90s going out 'properly'!!!

I genuinely wouldn't want to be a youngster these days (anyone under 20) , and although when I was younger thinking that 40 seems SO old, its not at all. I'm 42, still think, act, (look.....nope!) like I did when I was younger, and don't see being in my 40s as a negative at all.

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

I'm 30 in just under 2 months �� can't say I'm that excited....someone tell me it's all going to be ok?..

It's going to be ok............if you like going downhill

 

[dazzer6666]

I’m 42. Last weekend, I went away for a Lads weekend in Seville. Golf and drinking, I’m sure you all know the drill. What struck me was how easy it all was without a wife and 2 kids. One Passport not 4. The driving can be shared. Somebody else also remembered to program the Satnav. Not having to find a restaurant with a kids menu. Not having to find a Restaurant that ‘looks’ right for the wife. Not being woke up at stupid O’clock. Basically, not herding cats for 2 days.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life and can’t complain about any aspects of my it. I’m fit, well and even get noshed off every now and again for the price of a bunch of flowers. I do, however, miss the absence of responsibility from my 20’s and 30’s and get the feeling you become a passenger in your own life as you get older.

You're bloody joking [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] I organise our annual 'lads' (I'm the youngest FFS) golf trip. We've done it so often now it's not so bad, but organising 10 old farts to sort themselves......Jesus.

-when is the bus coming
-what time are we teeing off tomorrow (repeated ad infinitum)
-will we get luggage tags (yes, seriously)
-where are we eating tonight
-what time do I need to be at the airport
-how big can my hand luggage be
Etc etc etc etc etc !

Wouldn't change anything though - it's now a firm fixture and basically a drinking holiday with some golf thrown in. Another thing I probably wouldn't have done when the kids were young

I'm taking the youngest to Uni tomorrow (eldest just started her 4th year), so freedom increases even more. Big issue now is trying to work out when I can stop work, or at least cut back but the shitness of pension arrangements generally makes that a big call to make at some point.

 

[dazzer6666]

I was also given this advice in my 20's which is probably the best I've ever heard

'Get as high as you can in your career by the age of 40 because after that you will not care'

Ain't that the truth.

Absolutely nails it.

 

[Bozza]

Returning to this thread there's been some interesting stuff posted from those who did the kids thing early and those who did the kids thing late (and even the 'no kids, thanks' group).

There's clearly no right or wrong to this, but I have previously felt slightly envious about friends who had a child(ren) quite early and already, around their mid-40s are approaching, or already at, the time when they can be largely independent of kids once again.

My 6-y-o is amazing and I wouldn't change anything about him or when we had him, but the time when we can sod off on holiday without him feels a long time away!

 

[Bozza]

I was also given this advice in my 20's which is probably the best I've ever heard

'Get as high as you can in your career by the age of 40 because after that you will not care'

Ain't that the truth.

I'm not sure I cared after the age of 30, if not before.

 

[Gwylan]

Returning to this thread there's been some interesting stuff posted from those who did the kids thing early and those who did the kids thing late (and even the 'no kids, thanks' group).

There's clearly no right or wrong to this, but I have previously felt slightly envious about friends who had a child(ren) quite early and already, around their mid-40s are approaching, or already at, the time when they can be largely independent of kids once again.

Having kids in my 40s wasn't by choice. I love kids and would happily have had them 20 years earlier but it wasn't to be.

But I have no regrets about it ... I'm still young enough to appreciate them

 

[patchamalbion]

It's going to be ok............if you like going downhill

Well I've only had a few pints tonight and can already feel the slight hangover tomorrow so must be starting to go that way!

 

[timbha]

I'm in the 50+ group, am quite fit and think I'm wearing quite well. The only downsides I've noticed are the aches and pains after exercise, and the farts that pop out without warning. I then cough profusely in a pathetic attempt to try and disguise it. (I'm also concerned I might be losing my sense of smell).

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

I'm in the 50+ group, am quite fit and think I'm wearing quite well. The only downsides I've noticed are the aches and pains after exercise, and the farts that pop out without warning. I then cough profusely in a pathetic attempt to try and disguise it. (I'm also concerned I might be losing my sense of smell).

I turned 50 last November . It's obviously a gradual thing but there's no difference between 40 and 50 other than at 50 I can honestly say I do nog give a d@@m what people think of me. I think when you are younger with more financial commitments, you tread on eggshells a bit more lest you upset people.

Like a previous poster, I began fatherhood at 40 (not through choice) but am loving every moment. Daughter is indoctrinated in all things Blue and White and that's how it will stay.

 

[Hamilton]

I have no problems with my 40's. Kids are growing up and leaving and we have time and space to ourselves. We're holidaying in interesting places. We have intelligent conversations with our kids who have grown up into brilliant adults.

The downside is that you are left asking 'what now?' Especially as kids leave. But I now see the 'what now?' question as a positive question, as in 'what the hell, what shall we have a crack at now?' I'm looking forward to my 50's. I think we'll find more older people taking risks and changing their lives. In an age where pensions are now know guarantee of security, I think more people will take risks.


Sent from my iPhone in a non-Calde world :-(

 

[fat old seagull]

60 is the new 40....

Really......well enjoy it, because 75 is the new 90! And you just have to get on with it. On reflection the ups and downside of life is that the first 40 odd years seemed to go so slowly. But lately ....Christmas is over, you have your birthday, it's Bonfire Night and Christmas again! .....and we still haven't signed a striker.