Battle of the 80's pop icons

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Imagine, if you will, that the three giants of 80's pop music-Prince, Michael Jackson and Madonna- are in a locked room, 20metres by 20 metres. In the middle of the room are three sets of weapons-a trident and net; a short sword and small shield; an aluminium baseball bat with a bayonet fixed to the end and a world war one German helmet. The three multi million selling artists have to fight to the death...if they don't and/or there is no winner after one hour half a dozen hand grenades will be chucked into the room and all three will be torn asunder.

So, the question is: Who will step out of the room victorious?

As an interesting aside, what weapons will each Superstar go for? Who will be the first to give up on their existence? Will two team up on one? Are such succesful megastars even capable of teaming up with one another?

 

[Titanic]

Just throw the grenades in NOW!

 

[The Large One]

Can't we just dip them in petrol and put one box of matches in the room?

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Look, they have to fight first. Then we can blow them up. My money's on prince emerging victorious(sp?!).

 

[steward 433]

What a load of f***ing crap those 3 are

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

What a load of f***ing crap those 3 are

That as may be. BUT in the aforementioned scenario who would win?

 

[bright1064]

Michael Jackson

 

[Easy 10]

Jacko's "a lover not a fighter", he'd be dead within seconds.
Prince is about 3'4 in his heels and wouldn't have the range regardless of weapon selection.
Madonna would emerge victorious, probably having crushed the pair of them in her heavily muscled loins.

 

[pasty]

Madonna would beat the crap out of them.

 

[Il Duce]

Prince. He may be the smallest but he's nimble. Jacko is made of cardboard. He'd be the first to get mashed to bits. Madonna is an old hag. Easy victory for Mr. Formerly.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

i reckon madonna would win

she's quite muscle tastic at the moment and probably knows loads of kung fu or something

prince would be shit, and jacko is way too pale and fragile

MADONNA TO WIN

 

[Bars Mar]

Prince Would Win. He's A Trained Killer:

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[Icy Gull]

The first rather worrying image that springs to mind is what will happen to Jacko's nose when Madonna smacks him one on it

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Prince would SEDUCE Madonna and make sweet prince love to her until she couldn't stand. Then he would bludgeon her to death. M.J would be cowering in the corner and would probably top himself when he saw two ad.ults getting jiggy. Thus Prince is the clear and unequivocal winner.

 

[Wardy]

Madonna would win. She comes from a pretty rough background and do not think I would want to upset her. Face it Michael Jackson would hide in a corner, while Prince would be looking for a mirror to check his hair.

 

[Il Duce]

Madonna may have come from a rough background but now she is a West London middle class mum. I don't think she has the fight any more. Anyway, if you consider how many consecutive gigs Prince did at the O2 last year, he's gotta be in good shape. Never meant to cause you any sorrow? Never meant to cause you any pain? Yeah right. Doosh doosh doosh. The Winner is Prince.

 

[The Large One]

Jackson would win. His head is a titanium plate, his torso made of some non-rip elastic polymer. He's had so many body part replacements, he is under investigation by the Metropolitan Police for being a South London crime syndicate cut-and-shut 'ringer' job. That 'white skin' is actually napalm wounds so he can't burn any more, and even if he did, his outer skin has been Scotchguarded anyway.

 

[Simster]

I feel Jackson's best chance may just be to dive for the protective weaponry then prance around the room like a gayer, avoiding any form of physical contact and waiting for the final round of grenades to be lobbed into the fray.

Knowing that his face already looks like it's been left to melt on a radiator, further physical impediment is unlikely to hold any fears.

 

[Titanic]

Do you think the heat might cause his hair to go all frizzy?

 

[Gazwag]

Jackson would run to a corner after picking up the short sword and small shield, it reminds him of the wonderful Peter Pan games he played with Bubbles and other assulted small boys. He would then flick the sword at the other too whispering "Beat it, Beat it"

Meanwhile Prince, picks up the trident and net mistaking the beautiful carving on the trident as his symbol. After attaching the net to his torso to make a fetching garment slowly creeps up to Jackson ready to throttle him with his bear hands.

Madonna, however, avoids initial contact with the two boys and grabs the aluminium baseball bat with a bayonet fixed to the end and a world war one German helmet. She attaches the helmet to one of her drooping breasts reminding her of her Material days whilst flexing her muscles on the baseball bat, slowly but surely getting back Into The Groove of swinging the weapon just like she did all thoughs years ago and feels she really is in a League Of Her Own.

With one swing of the bat she easily decapitates Prince and his flying head slams into Jackson, straight through his chest forcing his still beating heart out and right Off the Wall.

It was a Thriller but Madonna wins