Badly burned body found on Carnoustie golf course

[Juan Albion]

Did he tread on a black hole maybe? It's started, I tell ye, we're all doomed. . .

 

[Tooting Gull]

This could be a real albatross around the club's neck.

 

[Hockley Blues]

We can safely assume the killer is a right SLICE.

 

[Hockley Blues]

..and if he gets caught, he'll be SHAFTed.

 

[Frutos]

Was the deceased adhering to the dress code of the golf club at the time of his death?

That's gotta be a hefty fine if he wasn't.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I trust the soon-to-be deceased warned fellow members by shouting FORE! FIRE!

 

[Twinkle Toes]

Was the deceased adhering to the dress code of the golf club at the time of his death?

That's gotta be a hefty fine if he wasn't.

Even worse than that I fear. He was allegedly wearing a pair of Duffy Waldorf-endorsed crocs & paid the ultimate price innit

 

[Frutos]

Even worse than that I fear. He was allegedly wearing a pair of Duffy Waldorf-endorsed crocs & paid the ultimate price innit

I personally believe that murdering anyone over the age of about 12 who is wearing Crocs is entirely justifiable.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I take it the Carnoustie Match-Play tournament has been cancelled on the advice of the Health & Safety Executive then?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Seriously, I bet there's some crusty old bugger out there moaning that he's paid thousands for membership only to find the course was closed today

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

I was going to buy me the new Taylor-made tour burner, but I think I'll go with the Cobra now. Just to be on the safe side.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The family will not have to pay a princely sum to have his remains cremated. All they need to do is buy an urn or a tea caddy for them.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Sounds as though he is feeling a little under par.

 

[Gazwag]

» Buddon Links » Hole 11 - “Caen” - 366 Yards - Par 4

"Any drive cutting even slightly to the right will find the water and this puts pressure on the tee shot. The fairway is generously wide however and a good drive will leave a short pitch into a receptive green."


he should have gone right instead of left

 

[Nibble]

My guess is he was halfway round the course, had a startling moment of clarity, realised Golf is the gayest sport ever invented and knowing he could never recover his dignity set himself alight with an hilarious novelty golf ball lighter his muelling children gave him for father's day.

You might want to follow that line of investigation Edna.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Badly burned. Does that mean it was not burned properly?

 

[Nibble]

Badly burned. Does that mean it was not burned properly?

Ha! Should read "A very well done body was found..."

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Somebody told him to clean his balls with white spirit which worked perfectly until the fag fell out of his mouth.

 

[Jamon Jamon]

Somebody told him to clean his balls with white spirit which worked perfectly until the fag fell out of his mouth.

probably more to do with the previous poor quality than the good quality of this one, but thanks anyway Grimsby for making me spit coffee all over the screen!

 

[Pavilionaire]

He and his golf partner were tied after 10 holes but running late. His pal is apparently now inconsolable having suggested they play a sudden death decider at the 11th.