Dear Sirs,
I am writing to put myself forward for the vacant England Manager’s post. Although I have been out of the “management game” for a while I feel I have the experience and tactical nous to lead the “Mighty Lions” to the kind of glory not seen since the days of Alan Ramsey.
I am also definitely English and thus have the necessary PRIDE and PASSION that foreigners don’t have, and they probably can’t even spell it.
My management career started on Championship Manager 93 where I led Reading from mid-table mediocrity in Division Two to the Premiership. I went on to win 2 Premiership titles in 10 years with “The Berkshire Beasts”, and would have undoubtedly had more success had my cousin Paul not dominated The Premiership with his fearsome Middlesborough side. He also mucked about with my team a couple of times when I went to the shop which I think affected morale a little, and I think you should consider this.
From there I moved on to Championship Manager 2 with considerable success, winning titles with Liverpool and Wolves before Mum sold the PC to a disabled.
My management career continued at University with the emergence of Championship Manager 3, a game at which I continued to have success despite an excessive cannabis intake, which at times affected my decisions and led to me picking players with “nice names”. Given the difficult conditions I was working under I think it is incredible that I was even able to turn the PC on, let alone lead Brighton to successive promotions with a limited budget.
I am a hard manager but fair. I am not the type to throw around kettles but I would certainly not tolerate own goals or knackered midfielders.
I am not racist and would be more than happy to include black players in my team as I know there are a lot of em in The Premiership nowadays and they are quick and strong. I draw the line at gays though.
I look forward to your response.
Yours Faithfully,
Sam “Rocket” Mellor.
I am writing to put myself forward for the vacant England Manager’s post. Although I have been out of the “management game” for a while I feel I have the experience and tactical nous to lead the “Mighty Lions” to the kind of glory not seen since the days of Alan Ramsey.
I am also definitely English and thus have the necessary PRIDE and PASSION that foreigners don’t have, and they probably can’t even spell it.
My management career started on Championship Manager 93 where I led Reading from mid-table mediocrity in Division Two to the Premiership. I went on to win 2 Premiership titles in 10 years with “The Berkshire Beasts”, and would have undoubtedly had more success had my cousin Paul not dominated The Premiership with his fearsome Middlesborough side. He also mucked about with my team a couple of times when I went to the shop which I think affected morale a little, and I think you should consider this.
From there I moved on to Championship Manager 2 with considerable success, winning titles with Liverpool and Wolves before Mum sold the PC to a disabled.
My management career continued at University with the emergence of Championship Manager 3, a game at which I continued to have success despite an excessive cannabis intake, which at times affected my decisions and led to me picking players with “nice names”. Given the difficult conditions I was working under I think it is incredible that I was even able to turn the PC on, let alone lead Brighton to successive promotions with a limited budget.
I am a hard manager but fair. I am not the type to throw around kettles but I would certainly not tolerate own goals or knackered midfielders.
I am not racist and would be more than happy to include black players in my team as I know there are a lot of em in The Premiership nowadays and they are quick and strong. I draw the line at gays though.
I look forward to your response.
Yours Faithfully,
Sam “Rocket” Mellor.
sorry , misunderstanding. good post
