[Misc] Any else feeling unapologetically in the mood for Christmas?

[vegster]

Christmas should begin on 25 December and stop immediately on the 26th.

Tedious consumer driven borefest.

Shamelessly lifted from Facebook......

Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!!
The only difference is that you are allowed to open a bottle of wine before you open the kitchen curtains.
We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking .
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor anyone else I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same .
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over
Merry Christmas!

 

[Driver8]

No.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

[MENTION=34787]BNthree[/MENTION] prefers his own song….The thirteen days of Christmas

The dates are not inclusive. 6th January is Epiphany so the 5th is 12th Night as stated by Shakespeare.

 

[Gazwag]

After Boris the **** stole our Chrismas last year in Rother yet allowed it in all towns to the west yes I am looking forward this year.

 

[BN9 BHA]

The dates are not inclusive. 6th January is Epiphany so the 5th is 12th Night as stated by Shakespeare.

You don’t always do humour TB

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

The leaves on my oak trees have barely started turning brown.

Oak Trees ?

Just how big is your garden Lord Pavilionaire I wonder ?


Christmas, hate it, filled with bad memories and disappointment….
Commercial consumer driven guilt fest….

 

[Thunder Bolt]

You don’t always do humour TB

Irony is hard to detect on a screen.

 

[The Clamp]

Not yet but it’s the first year in four years I am not doing night shifts all over Christmas. Got a full 8 days off, don’t have to be at work at all. Spending a few days of it with friends and family and a few days to myself to relax and catch a breath. Can’t bloody wait.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

The dates are not inclusive. 6th January is Epiphany so the 5th is 12th Night as stated by Shakespeare.

I am a stickler. Deccies go up on Christmas eve and go down on 12th night.

And me, I don't even believe in God!

This country is awash with heathens, philistines and morons

Each to his own. I may go full Danny Baker this year.

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

Christmas starts at Christmas Eve and ends on 6 Jan. None of this November to Boxing Day bollocks the Yanks do.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You what? Americans don’t celebrate Boxing Day.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Oak Trees ?

Just how big is your garden Lord Pavilionaire I wonder ?


Christmas, hate it, filled with bad memories and disappointment….
Commercial consumer driven guilt fest….

My view is whatever misery it may have delivered, cut some slack for the youngsters and the naive. A bit of wonder and joy in the faces of others is always cheering.

Plus I get to force family to sit through every episode of The Box Of Delights again. Pretty please.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Oak Trees ?

Just how big is your garden Lord Pavilionaire I wonder ?


Christmas, hate it, filled with bad memories and disappointment….
Commercial consumer driven guilt fest….

I've got one in my garden and two just outside my boundary that hang over my garden. The buggers usually don't finish dropping their leaves til Christmas. Back garden 60 x 40 feet.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

I am a stickler. Deccies go up on Christmas eve and go down on 12th night.

And me, I don't even believe in God!

This country is awash with heathens, philistines and morons

Each to his own. I may go full Danny Baker this year.

You have God on Ignore?

 

[Live by the sea]

Not really but two of my best friends yesterday were saying how early Hanukkah is this year and their buying presents earlier than usual . Normally it’s very close to Christmas but this year it starts end of Nov . I’m always happy to enjoy the party celebrations for both festivals .

 

[goldstone]

Christmas should begin on 25 December and stop immediately on the 26th.

Tedious consumer driven borefest.

Even that's too long.

 

[Brovion]

Starts after Bonfire night, what else is there to do?

Yup, nearly time to put the sprouts on to boil!

 

[zeemeeuw]

Need to get Diwali out of the way first.

 

[SK1NT]

Starts after Bonfire night, what else is there to do?

This... Nothing to do with xmas should be seen or heard until after bonfire night.

I hate xmas hijacking halloween and firework night. Still plenty of time to indulge from the 6th November. I do love xmas and any excuse to just have fun.

 

[AZ Gull]

No

Christmas is not in November.

Indeed.

Ours was two days ago.

 

[stewart_weir]

Dark mornings and evenings, rubbish weather, good football, clocks going back an hour, shops filling up with Christmas related items...

https://youtu.be/aAkMkVFwAoo

Sorry if I upset any old gits on here by starting a Christmas thread...



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NO!

Unless we are top 2 by New Years Day then I say sack the board, sack Potter and sack the crowd just to be sure!