And they claim not to care about us...

[Curious Orange]

Had this forwarded to me by a Palace supporting mate of mine. Must have taken a while to write, which kind of implies that they must love us really.



Choose Brighton and Hove Albion

Choose laughable arrogance.

Choose winning two lower league championships in 3 years and acting like you've won a European trophy.

Choose being relegated the very next season.

Choose the most contrived, up-his own-arse, most commercially sold out DJ for a 'celebrity' spokesman.

Choose the most disloyal manager in football because the previous three all left when they found out what a useless club it was.

Choose deckchairs.

Choose playing at a ground that slopes up toward the corner flag, for a hundred years, in the forlorn hope it will give you an advantage.

Choose running away at Haywards Heath.

Choose 99% of your fan base from the inbred rural English middle classes, provincial urban chav’s, and local media has-been’s.

Choose losing your best player in 20 years to an underachieving premiership club who dump him on West Ham after 6 months when they realise he's cr*p.

Choose kicking a non-league club out of their home ground while you search for your new one.

Choose pink streaks for an away kit

Choose a chairman who's name sounds like a dodgy gay porno movie.

Choose carrier bags.

Choose a beach covered in glass.

Choose kicking over flower pots outside a florists to look hard.

Choose not meeting your arch rivals for 13 years, going on and on about how you were going to exact revenge, and then lose 5-0 the very next time you play them.

Choose a disgusting bloated cr*p eating seabird that everyone hates as your club mascot.

Choose making umpteen lists of reasons why your club needs a new ground and then admit you didn’t go for a few years in the 1990's when they were bottom of division three.

Choose mocking your arch rivals failures despite the fact that for the last 15 years those failures happened at least one division higher than the one you were playing in.

Choose broken glass and p*ssing in the sea.

Choose the dirtiest beaches in Sussex.

Choose a city run by people who weren't born there.

Choose a city owned by people who weren't born there.

Choose calling it London-On-Sea.

Choose calling your city 'the place to be' when for the last three years its been top twice and second once in England and Wales for the number of drug deaths per capita.

Choose mocking your arch rivals for their record defeat 14 years ago, when you haven’t even scored against them since the Berlin Wall came down, and Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister.

Choose the joint biggest cup final defeat in half a century.

Choose your arch-rivals rejects and past heroes as managers and first team players.

Choose changing your nickname just because your arch rivals have.

Choose banging on about how your club's 'rightful' place is in the Premiership when it's never even been there and has only ever been in the top division for four seasons in its entire century long history.

Choose being in a higher division than your arch rivals for just 5 seasons out of 85 when even 2 of those were down to league restructuring.

Choose being AT LEAST one division lower than your arch rivals for 30 seasons out of 85.

Choose being so far behind your arch rivals for so long that it would take a lifetime to catch up.

Choose Comet, Toys R Us, JBB Sports.

Choose Nathan Jones in pink trainers.

Choose bitterness.

Choose second hand gloating.

Choose being called a ‘’footballing backwater’’ by one of your own managers.

Choose inflicting over a century of garbage on English football fans.

Choose insignificance, inability, mediocrity, banality, irrelevance, and woeful finishing when it really matters.

Choose Mark Lawrenson.

Choose Des Lynam.

Choose Papa Smurf.

Choose Seaweed

 

[Safeway]

Choose Comet, Toys R Us, JBB Sports.

Ouch.

Other than that, quite funny.

 

[Strike]

Shall we write a Pal*** version?

 

[Bobby's Gull]

Choose running away at Haywards Heath.

Don't know why but that one bit made me really laugh. That was quite funny. They love us really.

 

[Citrus]

Tossers.

 

[timseagull]

Shall we write a Pal*** version?

Choose Crystal Palarse

Choose replica shirts with the name spelt wrong

Choose a new caravan

Choose relegation

 

[the full harris]

Choose Nathan Jones in pink trainers.

that sounds nice.

 

[Curious Orange]

I just replied "Choose Croydon" and left it at that.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Choose a city run by people who weren't born there.

Choose a city owned by people who weren't born there.

 

[Braders]

Shall we write a Pal*** version?

choose argos chains
choose to have an extra h in your name
choose being barcelona wannabes
choose losing 9-0 to liverpool
choose not shutting up about 'how we where good in the 80s'
choose 3 brain cells

..... ?

 

[smudge]

Choose running away in Brighton,
Choose running away in Hove,
Choose running away at Selhurst,
Choose running away at Thornton Heath,
Choose running away at Norwood,
Choose running away at East Croydon,

Choose taking it out on some kids at Haywards f***ing Heath!!!

Run from Palace? Never!

(Waits to be told I'm old enough to know better!)

 

[Strike]

Choose Chavsville UK.

 

[Braders]

choose palace

choose argos chains

choose to have an extra h in your name

choose being barcelona wannabes

choose losing 9-0 to liverpool

choose not shutting up about 'how we where good in the 80s'

choose 3 brain cells

choose the bottom of the premiership

choose 99% of your fan base being reletives

choose a caravan with 3 wheels

choose the ugliest f*** ever and call him your manager

choose running away from brighton

choose a disgusting bloated cr*p eating bastard that everyone hates as your club striker

choose going on about 'stuffing brighton at there shitty ground' and only come away with a 0-0 draw

choose a job as a busker at selhurst station
choosebitterness

Choose third hand gloating

chooseinflicting over a century of garbage on English football fans.

choose nookie bear

choose a wad of notes on the changing room floor

choose a manager thats got VD and appointed him loadsa times

choose the beagles

 

[Bwian]

choose Jo fat f*** Brand

choose Kid Jensen

choose Ron Noades as your landlord

choose Sainsbury to buy half of your stand

choose anyfuckingwhere other than Croydon

choose quasimodo as your manager-name's not familiar but that face rings a bell...(old ones are the best)

 

[Strike]

choose argos chains

choose to have an extra h in your name

choose being barcelona wannabes

choose losing 9-0 to liverpool

choose not shutting up about 'how we where good in the 80s'

choose 3 brain cells

choose the bottom of the premiership

choose 99% of your fan base being reletives

choose a caravan with 3 wheels

choose the ugliest f*** ever and call him your manager

choose running away from brighton

choose a disgusting bloated cr*p eating bastard that everyone hates as your club striker

choose going on about 'stuffing brighton at there shitty ground' and only come away with a 0-0 draw

choose a job as a busker at selhurst station
choosebitterness

Choose third hand gloating

chooseinflicting over a century of garbage on English football fans.

choose nookie bear

choose a wad of notes on the changing room floor

choose a manager thats got VD and appointed him loadsa times

choose palace [/B]

Could I correct the last bit for you

Choose the Beagles

 

[Braders]

Could I correct the last bit for you

Choose the Beagles

of course

 

[Bwian]

choose to have an extra h in your name

May I add:

and choose to be illiterate enough to not notice?

 

[westdeneite]

Choose being located in Croydon and ask the Queen to make you a city.
3 tower blocks does not make a city. No wonder you were laughed at by Preston who took your dream.

 

[Yorkie]

So you read Celery Stick as well

You're not Gullmania are you?

 

[Dover]

Choose Nestle