A thread full of LIGHT BULB jokes...

[The Large One]

How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change the bulb, one to tell you what a truly enlightening experience it was.

 

[Jesus Gul]

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lighli blub?

 

[Icy Gull]

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb??






Fish

 

[pasty]

* Non pc sexist joke alert *

Why does it take 30 women with PMT to change a light bulb ?

BECAUSE IT JUST DOES OK

 

[Barrel of Fun]

How many Australians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change the light bulb, one to get the beers in and one to stand there saying "She'll be 'right mate".

 

[The Large One]

How many Doors fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, provided they can get out of the bath.

 

[Brovion]

How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. one to change the bulb and four to sing about how much they liked the old one.

How many psychatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But the lightbulb must want to change.

How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Darkness [TM] is the new industry standard.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Don't worry about me, I'll be alright sitting here in the dark. You just stay there in your nice house with all it's working light bulbs and don't even think about me for a moment, it'll be fine, after all I bought you up to be a good son and I quite understand that worrying about your poor mother's lighting conditions is not really that important, I'll do it myself and ooh my hip, no it's nothing...."

 

[Braders]

* Non pc sexist joke alert *

Why does it take 30 women with PMT to change a light bulb ?

BECAUSE IT JUST DOES OK

 

[gjh1971]

How many Albion Chairmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change the bulb, and one to offer the bulb a 4 year rolling contract when it gets to 34 based on appearances and to offer an imaginary £100,000 to another light bulb which we have no cost chance of getting, and failing to reduce the cost of the light bulb even though fewer people are now paying to see the light bulb.

 

[Frutos]

How many ManUre fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

100,001. One to change the bulb and 100,000 to buy the 2007 Lightbulb Changing Commemorative DVD, t-shirt and mug.

 

[Buffalo Seagull]

How many Planning Enquiries will it take to change a light bulb at Falmer?

 

[dougdeep]

How many NSC'ers does it take to change a light bulb. 500, 1 to do it and the rest to endlessly drone on about how it could have been done better, cheaper and with more flare.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Because it doesn't need fecking changing!!

 

[D'Angelo Saxon]

How many United fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, the other to drive him up from Surrey.

 

[Questions]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb ?

Only 1 as the German person in question would have placed their stepladder directly under the light fitting with an adaquate clear space around them so as to allow easy access for the operation. They would also have made sure that the power supply to the fitting would have been isolated so as to eliminate the chance of an electrical shock. They would also have made a list of all bulbs in the house as to whether they were screw in or bayonet type and would have left a spare supply readily to hand in a safe place.

 

[Lankyseagull]

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. Bill Gates wil just redefine Darkness (TM) to be the new industry standard.

 

[Frank Inkerman]

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. Bill Gates wil just redefine Darkness (TM) to be the new industry standard.

Is there an echo in here ?

 

[pasty]

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness (TM) to be the new industry standard

Is there an echo in here ?

Yep, it appears there is.

 

[Lush]

Q: How many fish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, but don't ask how they get in there.

 

[bn3gunner]

How many NSC'ers does it take to change a light bulb. 500, 1 to do it and the rest to endlessly drone on about how it could have been done better, cheaper and with more flare.