Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

A Thread full of Joke du Jours



Dunkstar

Active member
Jul 6, 2003
2,428
Up a Hill
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:yawn: :shootself :yawn:

This post was in reference to the duplicate thread so no offence to DTG!:thumbsup:
 
Last edited:










Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,031
JOKE DE JOUR to lighten the mood!!

A man was walking down the street, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man, who asked him for a couple of pounds for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two pounds and asked,
"If I gave you this money, will you buy beer with it instead?"

"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the homeless man said.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the money on football instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you BLOODY NUTS?" replied the homeless man. "I haven't watched football in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you two pounds. I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I'm very dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "That's okay, mate! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling and football."

:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:
 














JEM

New member
Jul 5, 2003
686
Bevendean
What is the difference between an Essex girl and the abominable snowman?

One has thick, smelly, matted body hair and the other has big feet.
 






Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,031
The Best Ever Joke Jour

What in your opinion is the funniest joke de jour you have seen on NSC, mine would have to be Nelso Mandella one and the truck full of spare car parts.
Sorry can't remember how it goes word for word!!!

:smokin:
 








watsongooal

New member
Jul 7, 2003
2,556
Chislehurst
Managers Contracts:(
 










Artois

is 100% of your RDA
Jul 5, 2003
6,578
Hooters
It's got to be this little beauty, posted about a year ago:



How do you know if your Sister is having a period?


Your Dad's knob tastes funny.
 


Braders

Abi Fletchers Gimpboy
Jul 15, 2003
29,224
Brighton, United Kingdom
what about my monkey in the pub one ?
 


Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here