desprateseagull
New member
or possible headlines, snatched off twitter and the like..
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a thread ful of Chilean miner recue jokes..
- Thread starter desprateseagull
- Start date
surrey jim
Not in Surrey
Apparently one of the trapped Chilean miners has become suicidal,
after realising he forgot to clock in
after realising he forgot to clock in
Art Vs Science
Banned
- Sep 1, 2010
- 6,419
The first task for the chilean miners is to visit Anfield to show Roy Hodgson how to get out of a f*****g big hole before christmas
There was a comment on Twitter about the irony of yesterday being Mrs Thatcher's birthday and the whole world spending the day focused on a mine.
Tricky Dicky
New member
SittingbourneSeagull
Well-known member
The Chilean Miners are all being rescued Juan at a time!
Gets coat.
Gets coat.
The Chilean Miners are all being rescued Juan at a time!
Gets coat.
I think "32 have be rescued, just Juan left now" works better.
Garage_Doors
Originally the Swankers
I asked the wife for a Chilean miner in bed last night, she asked what it was.
Your go down the shaft are stay there for 69 days i told her.
Your go down the shaft are stay there for 69 days i told her.
footychick
Nicola
I haven't seen this many minors pulled out of the ground since the old Bill dug up Fred West's basement.
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
They're going to have no trouble going home with the Chilean ladies. All they have to do to persuade them is offer them the choice: "Your place or mine?"
What about Frizl's?
i like that one!
shaolinpunk
[Insert witty title here]
I'm not keen on the minors now they've gone mainstream. I liked them better when they were underground
The Chilean Miners are all being rescued Juan at a time!
Gets coat.
I got bored of watching the miners coming out. Once you've seen Juan, you've seen them all.
Brownstuff
Well-known member
Gary Glitter has sped off to Chile, only place where you can slide a minor up and down your shaft and get applauded for it
ITV have approached Jedward, Jordan, Eamon Holmes, Ken Livingstone, Charles and Eddie (from Would I Lie To You? fame), Paul Ross, Bernie Clifton, Vikki Butler-Henderson and Alvin Stardust - to name but some - to appear in a show where they are sent down there instead of the Australian rainforest.
Miner Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is hoped to be aired over the New Year period.
Miner Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is hoped to be aired over the New Year period.
footychick
Nicola
On the Left Wing
KIT NAPIER
THE first of the trapped Chilean miners brought to the surface have admitted that four of their colleagues were delicious.
The jubilant miners hugged their families and shouted for joy before quietly informing the rescuers they would only need to do 29 trips.
Florencio Avalos, trapped for 64 days, said: "We were just going to keep quiet about it and hope no-one noticed. 'Oh no, there was only 29 of us, why would you think there was 33?'. But we kind of realised you had probably been through the list a couple of times.
"Then we thought about saying they were eaten by a dragon, but then there would be this whole big dragon finding expedition and when it came back empty handed eventually someone would start asking lots of awkward questions. Particularly as we've all gained a bit of weight.
"So eventually we thought, best just to come clean straight away so everyone can move on with their lives and we need never speak of it again."
Bolivian Carlos Mamani added: "All we had was these biscuits. After the first 12 hours I was like, 'these are just rubbish' and so I hit Manuel over the head with a big rock and made some sausages.
"It's okay, he was a terrible racist."
Mamani said the other three dishes were all racist child molesters who stole food and water and had eventually begged to be made into stew, burgers and a really lovely slow-roasted shift supervisor.
"The sense of unity and togetherness down there was amazing. No-one said 'this is too spicy for me' or 'I don't like chins', we all just eat who was put in front of us."
He added: "I would like Tobey Maguire to play me in the film please."
The jubilant miners hugged their families and shouted for joy before quietly informing the rescuers they would only need to do 29 trips.
Florencio Avalos, trapped for 64 days, said: "We were just going to keep quiet about it and hope no-one noticed. 'Oh no, there was only 29 of us, why would you think there was 33?'. But we kind of realised you had probably been through the list a couple of times.
"Then we thought about saying they were eaten by a dragon, but then there would be this whole big dragon finding expedition and when it came back empty handed eventually someone would start asking lots of awkward questions. Particularly as we've all gained a bit of weight.
"So eventually we thought, best just to come clean straight away so everyone can move on with their lives and we need never speak of it again."
Bolivian Carlos Mamani added: "All we had was these biscuits. After the first 12 hours I was like, 'these are just rubbish' and so I hit Manuel over the head with a big rock and made some sausages.
"It's okay, he was a terrible racist."
Mamani said the other three dishes were all racist child molesters who stole food and water and had eventually begged to be made into stew, burgers and a really lovely slow-roasted shift supervisor.
"The sense of unity and togetherness down there was amazing. No-one said 'this is too spicy for me' or 'I don't like chins', we all just eat who was put in front of us."
He added: "I would like Tobey Maguire to play me in the film please."
surrey jim
Not in Surrey
I bet that Chilean miner, who promised to marry his girlfriend if he was rescued, put up a f***ing good fight before they finally got him into the rescue pod!