A bit gutted

[Simon Morgan]

Second year student, everything's been going reasonably well, live with 6 other people I consider to be my best mates. Today, 4 of them told the rest of us that they are branching off and don't want to live with us next year.

One of the guys on the receiving end with me is a bit of a dick who we lived with out of sympathy. The other guy is my best friend.

I'm still shocked and bewildered by the whole thing to be honest and no real explanation was offered with the decision. I suppose its one of those things that you're going to encounter in life. In hindsight maybe I could have acted differently, but then another part of me thinks f*** hindsight. I'm a well meaning bloke with no regrets and I will get over this.

sorry, had to write or say something somewhere...

 

[Beach Hut]

Sometimes people move on for whatever reason, usually for the better.

It's no big issue in a weeks time you'll wonder why you needed to write this.

 

[Ernest]

Sometimes people move on for whatever reason, usually for the better.

It's no big issue in a weeks time you'll wonder why you needed to write this.

I wish you'd move out

 

[Simon Morgan]

Sometimes people move on for whatever reason, usually for the better.

It's no big issue in a weeks time you'll wonder why you needed to write this.

Indeed. Plans are already afoot for next year and everything will be fine. Just a bit mystifying to see 1.5 years of happiness go down the drain.

 

[Beach Hut]

I wish you'd move out

I'll go anywhere with you love

 

[Ernest]

I'll go anywhere with you love

I'm taken you beast

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Shit happens when it comes to Uni sharing. I was good friends with a chap (in fact I am now his best man), but my gang decided that he would not live with us. It is THE most difficult thing when it comes to University.

Looking on the bright side of things, you are going to live with different people and you WILL have fun.

Iwould not get too worked up over it. Make the most of what the future holds. One door closes. Another door opens. There are plenty of examples of poeple living with randoms that have great years.

Also, seeing your friends (that you do not live with) can be strengthening. YOu do not have to go through all that shit about 'Who is buying the milk or who is not buying the milk' etc

 

[Notters]

I met all my best friends, the ones I'm still in contact with, in third year... I shouldn't worry too much!

 

[Beach Hut]

I'm taken you beast

Bastard, I thought we were an item

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

A bit of a dilemma for you. Do you intend to jettison the dickhead ? You and your best mate could then go off to houseshare somewhere else. If Mr Dickhead is just a convenience to cover a share of the rent then I'm sure you will find another 4 flatmates and start new friendships. Shit happens , your best mates will always try to stick near you , some mates will slowly drift apart but thats a fact of life.

 

[Mr Banana]

I don't get the maths. There's six of you, but four have moved out leaving you and your mate and the guy who's a bit of a dick...doesn't that make seven?

Anyway, don't worry about it. I lived with three guys in an underground bunker at uni - we didn't go out for two years, it was amazing and I'd have been equally gutted if something like what's happened to you had happened to me. But then you realise that 99% of human beings are horrible, selfish bastards, and the trick is not to rely on other people to make you happy

 

[Cheshire Cat]

No, there are seven of them - SM plus best mate plus strange bloke plus four bastards.
Is this a mixed house, all male (all female!!!!), various combinations..... pics?

In twenty years time you won't even remember what they all looked like, let alone their names...

 

[Ernest]

Bastard, I thought we were an item

You're f***ing deluded

 

[clapham_gull]

Second year student, everything's been going reasonably well, live with 6 other people I consider to be my best mates. Today, 4 of them told the rest of us that they are branching off and don't want to live with us next year.

One of the guys on the receiving end with me is a bit of a dick who we lived with out of sympathy. The other guy is my best friend.

I'm still shocked and bewildered by the whole thing to be honest and no real explanation was offered with the decision. I suppose its one of those things that you're going to encounter in life. In hindsight maybe I could have acted differently, but then another part of me thinks f*** hindsight. I'm a well meaning bloke with no regrets and I will get over this.

sorry, had to write or say something somewhere...

Well, University tends to throw you together with people that probably you wouldn't get on with outside of it. For a start you have something in common with them, studying, stress of exams and getting pissed on a Friday night.

Things like that usually start friendships, but those things have a limited lifespan of three years.

When you take all that away, you often find you actually have little in common with them.

My reaction based on experience is to simply say f*ck em.

See this as an opportunity to worry less about them and your friendships and concentrate on your studies because that's really what you are there for.

After ten years (if you bump into them in the street) you'll struggle to even remember their names let alone their faces.

 

[Djmiles]

I don't get the maths. There's six of you, but four have moved out leaving you and your mate and the guy who's a bit of a dick...doesn't that make seven?

Yes. Hence why he said "Living with 6 other people"

 

[Djmiles]

I wouldn't worry about it to be honest.

I moved in with 6 of my best friends in second year, and at the end 3 of them wanted to live elsewhere. Didn't really bother me, and still kept in contact with them a lot in 3rd year.

Just because they dont want to live with you, it doesn't mean your friendship is over!

 

[Mr Banana]

Yes. Hence why he said "Living with 6 other people"

Shit. I'm getting thicker by the day.

Of the two blokes I've lived with who've moved out before the end of the tenancy, one had cracked up due to skunk misuse and the other had quite justifiable reasons to do with various addictions of mine at the time. And I'm mates with 'em both now. Shit happens, I'm sure you'll be alright. If you're really pissed off you could become a complete recluse, grow your hair to an unrecoverable length and sit in your room posting on NSC every day.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Second year student, everything's been going reasonably well, live with 6 other people I consider to be my best mates. Today, 4 of them told the rest of us that they are branching off and don't want to live with us next year.

One of the guys on the receiving end with me is a bit of a dick who we lived with out of sympathy. The other guy is my best friend.

I'm still shocked and bewildered by the whole thing to be honest and no real explanation was offered with the decision. I suppose its one of those things that you're going to encounter in life. In hindsight maybe I could have acted differently, but then another part of me thinks f*** hindsight. I'm a well meaning bloke with no regrets and I will get over this.

sorry, had to write or say something somewhere...

Thanks for sharing, Simon. I appreciate it's not an easy situation for you. I can tell from the replies that many forum posters want you to come out of this feeling and being OK. Me too.

Well, you can acknowledge the four who are branching off for being straight with you over this. It may not be an easy situation for them either to have to explain to you what they are doing. Be generous with them, I'd suggest.

Also, I don't know how helpful this is to you, however whenever I've had difficult situations in my life, I've found it useful to separate what has happened and what my reaction to it is. The two things are different. You are not upset because of what they said. I'd wager that you are feeling upset because of three things:
a) your unfulfilled expectations - that if you continue to be a well-meaning bloke, things will continue into the third year
b) your thwarted intention - to be living in a house of 7 people who you know well
c) your undelivered communication - e.g. "I loved living with you guys"

the four who are leaving gave you the words "We're branching off" but the person who gave you the three things above is you. So while you can't control what others do or say, you do have power over the three things causing you to feel upset.

I won't say any more in this post, but feel free to try those as your starting points.

 

[Lush]

Perhaps they've found a good house - but only for 4? Or perhaps you or your best mate, while a laugh, never do the washing up/buy the loo paper/shower or whatever irritation that sounds petty but gets up everyone's nose after a year of living together.

Sometimes after a couple of years living away from home people do start to grow up a bit and want their domestic arrangements to be a bit more comfortable in terms of the numbers of people they live with as well as state of the house. If you accept this, you'll probably still be good mates and socialise; if you have a strop about it, you won't.

 

[SNOOBS]

Shit on there doorstep