2 fish in a tank......

[Kumquat]

Two polar bears on an icecap. One said "radar" and the other fell off.

 

[rouseytastic]

Velcro thats a rip off
Albinos,you cant get fairer than that

Conjunctivitis.com, now there's a sight for sore eyes

 

[mr sheen]

He's a hard faced bastard.

The man in the iron mask.

 

[rouseytastic]

Stop signs.........well they're on the way out

 

[Surrey_Albion]

Stop signs.........well they're on the way out

Think you mean Exit signs lol

 

[rouseytastic]

Think you mean Exit signs lol

Hahaha yep I do! Deliberate obviously haha!!

 

[brakespear]

How would a fish hold a gun? Or the steering wheel come to that? Do tanks have steering wheels?

I believe they have steering rods or similar, one for each track. Quite a fish is going to cope with such an arrangement is beyond me.

 

[rouseytastic]

I believe they have steering rods or similar, one for each track. Quite a fish is going to cope with such an arrangement is beyond me.

Big fins

 

[gazingdown]

Two sausages in a frying pan

One says to the other "gosh, hot in here isn't it"

Other says "Woah! a talking sausage!"

 

[Poyetry In Motion]

Has Tim Vine taken over NSC today?

Two women in a bath
One says " where's the soap "
The other says " yes, it does doesn't it"

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

How do fish communicate then?

Crail?


I'll get my goat.

TNBA

TTF

 

[salty seagull]

Two boiling eggs in a pan
One says "Phew,it`s hot in here."
Other one says "Wait `til you get out,they`ll smash yer `ead in."

 

[Danny-Boy]

Two teddies in the airing cupboard, which one's the soldier?

The one sitting on the tank.

Which on's the puff?

The one called Maybank?

 

[Danny-Boy]

Three men stuck on a desert island, a Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman.

Then a genie in a bottle lands on the beach, and crawls out. "Okay lads, you can each have one wish".
The Englishman says "I wish I was back in my local having a pint of beer with my mates". Zzzit - he's gone.
The Scotsman says "Aah wish I was back in Glasgie havin' a pint wi' me pals in the pub" Zzzit - he's gone too.

Then the genie turns to Seamus. "What about you, then?"

"Sure it's terrible lonely here now. I wish my two companions were back here with me..."

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

In a recent survey it was established that most people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones.......but those in AbuDabi do.

 

[Poyetry In Motion]

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?






















































Fish

 

[Frutos]

Two polar bears on an icecap. One said "radar" and the other fell off.

I'm probably being a bit thick, but I don't get it.

 

[rouseytastic]

Englishman, Irishman and a Chinese man on a building site. The Foreman is a nutter and screams 'I want this pile of sand moved from here to over there!' he says 'Englishman, you're in charge of digging the sand and putting it into buckets. Irishman, you are in charge of moving the buckets to over there. Chinese Man, you are in charge of the supplies!!.........See you on an hour!!!!'

He returns an hour later, nothing had happened and the Englishman and Irishman are standing around doing nothing. He goes mental 'what's going on'. One of them says 'as soon as you left the Chinese man disappeared and we had no buckets or spades.'

'I'll kill him!' says the Foreman. As he turns to walk away the Chinese man jumps out from behind the pile of sand and shouts..........








'SUPPLIES!!!!!!!'

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Dont buy a water bed if your in a happy relationship. We did to spice things up, but after a week we drifted apart.

A Torch is a great place to store old rusty batteries.

 

[BadFish]

I'm probably being a bit thick, but I don't get it.

me either, but I am a bit thick