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I'd definitely ignore me if I knew how. #putinzakunt

Naaey 15.10 Pontefract

Mmmmmm I remember my Swedish medical with great fondleness,enjoy young man 👍

They'll be relegated by the time the tickets go on sale and their projected 42 points will be evenly distributed between Chelsea and Man City as a good will gesture from the EPL

I'm not sure if age has mellowed my dislike of Palace but if I had the choice of seeing any club go tits up right now Palace wouldn't make the top 3. The blatant rule bending to suit the mega rich clubs boils my piss to many degrees above losing to Palace now and then.

Volcanology 15.30 Ayr

Cannon Rock 14.10 Chelmsford

Silly Kuntz

Lahab 20.20 Carlisle

McBiffo time

Cobra Queen 18.50 Cork

This is rubbish, there's absolutely no way we've identified a player we want to sign and Chelsea haven't quadrupled our offer plus free Pepshie for life for him yet.

Thursdays 📌 Haazeez 15.00 Yarmouth

Madueke is a superb player and I've no idea why it took Chelsea so long to realise just how good this lad is,other than they're complete fkwits and just play players according to the amount of cash they pay per player. I honestly think if we leaked the name of a lad playing in division 13 of...

Madeira gets the stripes

Shine On Brendan 16.05 Musselburgh

Londoner 15.15 Hamilton

Coloane 16.45 Pontefract

I like this signing,the song permutations are endless,I'm not too bothered what time of day we signed him as I doubt it will effect his future stats. Welcome to Brighton and Hove Albion Yakuba

Fiveonefive 15.10 Cartmel