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A great uncle of mine spent years researching the family history in his retirement. This was back in the 1980s and 1990s, before the Internet was used for this kind of thing. So it was all paper. Boxes and files and boxes and files of it. He gathered an absolute forest of stuff, going back...

Hamstring?

Even the guys doing the fake crowd noises on Sky Sports Main Event have given up. If you try really hard, you can *just* about make out the crowd noise, occasionally Meanwhile the players’ shouts are turned up to max. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Need to protect the goal difference now. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Three tiers? Have you not seen the plans? It’s 16 tiers high, accommodating over a million fans on one side of the ground alone. The top 4 tiers are so far above mainland UK soil they’re currently subject to the Govt 14-day quarantine rules. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

But Palace's two games since Restart began have both been away – Plucky and Liverpool. Tonight, they're at home. So this is the world's first chance to see Palace's new stand in all its glory. Football fans from across the globe are waiting for this moment, the unveiling of what's surely the...

Only if Utd are paying his wages.

But he has some strange hold over the female psyche. When he played a gig over here, every single woman I know – young, old, single, married, cool, not-cool, and from every nation on earth – went absolutely mental with the NEED to have a ticket. Never seen anything like it. It was like some kind...

Broccoli. Go mad floret, innit. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah, surprisingly so. Of the 5 below us before Restart, I had them down as the team most likely to close the gap and join us in aiming for safety. But they’re starting to show the same lack of oomph as the others down there. I’ve actually watched most of the games involving this group of 5...

Clear and frighteningly accurate assessment of Trump’s reelection playbook, in 25 steps: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jun/28/donald-trump-re-election-playbook-25-lies-cheats-and-steals Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No, but anatomically his head is several sizes too large for his body, so technically he’s a Billy Big Heid. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Boo. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Does Klose get a ban now? Would that include our game next Saturday? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yay, superb call. I LOVED Red Guitars, fantastic band. I still rate Good Technology as one of the most perfectly-constructed 4 minute songs ever. Their compilation Seven Types Of Ambiguity is well worth having. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

And scuttled his bridges. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Splendid stuff. If Wolves can close this out, then that’s just 2 points from 4 games for Villa, with Liverpool and Man Utd next up. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He didn't need to, we intuitively knew the pun was there.

In the style of Murray Walker… And! There! Goes! This! Thread! Straightintothebearpit!!

Average therefore 35.7pts, ie 36, effectively.