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I do wonder whether it would be like divorcing that bird off dictionary corner in countdown (who's absolute intellectual class clunge) for a disastrously disheartening fling with Cheryl Cole. I mean....Cole looks tremendous. But the reality of actually arriving there would perhaps be a Stella...

Leaving the UK in June has given me an interesting perspective on the Albion who I have been following since the mid 80s as far as attending games is concerned. I've had my fair share of loss of perspective moments over the years as well as running on the pitch at the goldstone and being a...

Dorset Arms withyham if you can be bothered to go that far. Henry VIII in Hever is great although a little pricey. The Catt inn west hoathly also very good. Excellent wine list and as long as your table is in the old original part then a wonderful culinary experience

Before I say this I actually love working for the Americans in Dallas. Really good bunch and love their sport and their beer and Dallas is home to some of the most outstandingly jaw-droppingly hot women. From black women to Hispanics to tall blondes it's just a smorgasbord of clunge. However...

Well I can't really describe a taco. It's about the size of a small hot dog, contains scrambled egg some sort of sausage pattie and three strips of smoked bacon. Add to that some peppers and onion and the smell alone at 7am is nauseous. One is enough. Five just appalling. It's her gunt that...

The best comedy ever to have graced our screens. Absolutely outstanding.

You're too kind. Well early morning breakfast meetings are always interesting here. Breakfast meeting is really the time of the meeting. Coffee of course welcome in a meeting that starts at 7am. Not for Fattie. Breakfast meeting is taken literally today. She waddles into the meeting this...

Almost identical situation here in Dallas. Three meat platter consumed every day by one particular Fattie. She wears a Fitbit watch and thinks that 1500 steps a day will work wonders. She'd need to scale Everest daily to shift her lard. She wears high heels as well which make it look like two...

That's a badge of honour. The man is a tool

Oh please just put a sock in it.

Perhaps deep down he knew he may not be a premier league standard player. Perhaps he felt that he would only ever get one shot to have a go. And earn a ludicrous amount of money. And set himself for life. Not sure he's really screwed it up that badly to be honest. And now he's back at his...

What channel on beIN sports is it?

Have you ever visited planet earth?

BG thank you. This is the simple reason this is the greatest forum ever. Yes there's a lot of drivel posted on here but my goodness in this thread you have just taken comedy and the absurd to another level. I think you're probably a lovely fella - but the thought of you hunched over your...

This is spot on. I think some people don't realise the challenge of chasing a total down on a worn pitch. Even a flat deck has some issues against an attsck that has pace, reverse swing and spin in its artillery. Have a look as to how many of the best sides in the game today at test level have...

What channel will it be on? I'm in Dallas having relocated with work and have no idea how to find out which channel will be showing it

You sound charming. And bright. Nice avatar. Not.

I love you Clarkey 😩😩😩😩😩😢😢😢

My ex made me go shopping. For her clothes. Etc. Constantly asking my opinion which was never relevant or actually noted. An utter waste of time. Usually ended up in fractious edgy evening and bizarrely she would then insist we did it again. Never understood. You don't want me there, you don't...

What in the name of God is that all about?????