Yet another piss poor joke.....

[simnom]

A man had great tickets for the Euro 2004 final. As he sits down, another man comes over and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Euro 2004 Final, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No they're all at the funeral."

 

[Braders]

*tumble weed blows by*

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

 

[US Seagull]

Very old (except the Euro 2004 part)

 

[US Seagull]

Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of
Heaven. God looks at them and says; "Before granting you a place at my side,
I must first ask you what you believe in."
Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "what do you believe?" Ronaldo looks God
in the eye and states passionately, "I believe football to be the food of
life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the
slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring
such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club." God
looks up and offers Ronaldo the seat to his left.
He then turns to Luis Figo, " ... and you, Luis, what do you believe?"
Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the
fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a
living embodiment of these traits."
God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Figo the seat to his right.
Finally, he turns to Wayne Rooney, "and you, Wayne, what do you believe?"
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"I believe", says Rooney,"you're sitting in my seat."

 

[US Seagull]

WOMAN'S DIARY:
Sunday 13th June 2004.

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed.

I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else.

I cried myself to sleep.

MAN'S DIARY:
Sunday 13th June 2004.

England lost to France. Gutted....... Got a shag though.