worst jobs

[looney]

Prisoner escort to psycopaths in the Army. Did come to the concluision that I would have to kill one if the situation deteriated.

Thankfully I have excellent inter-personal skills and would make an excellent diplomat.

look at what I posted on another board a couple of minutes ago, shows I should have been a diplomat.

Grizz
Shut your f***ing yapper before I Scissor kick your back molars through the back of your f***ing head ,Homer.

 

[alan partridge]

Prisoner escort to psycopaths in the Army. Did come to the concluision that I would have to kill one if the situation deteriated.

Thankfully I have excellent inter-personal skills and would make an excellent diplomat.

[/i]

this isn't a joke about your dyslexia ok?

do you mean you were in the army and escorted psychopathic prisoners? or, did you escort psycopathic soldiers who were prisoners?

anyway, loved thebit about you having excellent interpersonal skills

 

[looney]

Military escorts concern Military prisoners only.

 

[alan partridge]

so you were in the army?

 

[looney]

No it was the f***ing W.I. Kermit, what the f*** do you think?

 

[Gary Nelson]

Cleaning airpolanes.
Plus side-always got to raid the galleys on jumbo's for the left overs. Shot down the back of a plane on a hot day, necked a carton of orange juice then realised it was concentrated!! Yuk! Horrible orange juice coming out of my nose.
Dwonside-someone regulary throws up in the bogs, often it looks like raw beef that you have to remove, no gloves, you have to improvise!!! One old lady died in the toilets in first class, I had to clear up her mess after. I stank for 3 days.

Great days though!

 

[cheshunt seagull]

I spent 6 months working for Manpower in Brighton, highlights of which were:

- Sorting and laying out carpet grippers in a factory in Burgess Hill.
Even with gloves on your hands got cut up and you had to keep up with a machine that spewed the damn things out just faster than you could work.

- Opening the ends of endless lines of PVC tubes in a strip lighting factory in Newhaven

- Cleaning trays at American Express

- Lifeboat testing in Shoreham

My first ever job was as liftman at Hills of Hove which involved the skilled operation of an old fashioned lift by manipulating a handle and having to announce the contents of each floor upon arrival

 

[looney]

- Lifeboat testing in Shoreham

Eh? Did they send you out in it to see if it would sink?

 

[alan partridge]

No it was the f***ing W.I. Kermit, what the f*** do you think?

you were in the women's institute?

that explains a lot

particularly when you lot slow clapped tony blair. tsk.

 

[looney]

If you knew anything AP you would know that Tory MP's generally hate doing the rounds at the local WI's, they are a f***ing nasty bunch of hags. I would rather face al-quiada than those Harridans.

 

[alan partridge]

are you now telling me you are a tory mp?

 

[looney]

Yea and I'm GOD and your father. Ooops looks like a true one slipped in there. Well it was years ago and your mother looked pretty good walking the street or maybe I was just to drunk. Whatever, you be good now son or your mum will make you do double time with the local preist.

 

[alan partridge]

blimey. so i'm jesus.

 

[Spicy]

I had a casual job picking up litter in Hyde Park - it was a thankless task and there are some real weirdos hanging around. I only lasted a day until I walked out on it.

 

[looney]

so i'm jesus.

A scruffy vagrant who hung out with men and never married, yep I reckon so.

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Happy Birthday for Thursday AP! You know you really should get out more and spread the word. This is the multimedia age, you won't get people interested in the word of God if you confine youself to a messageboard.

 

[looney]

Dont remember jesus mincing about spouting left wing crap and posting purile threads on Mb's oh well.

 

[alan partridge]

you know you're right ex ss (hmm don't know if abbreviating your name was a good idea! )

in a way, looney is a bit like john the baptist i suppose. spreading the word of my arrival. sorry about the head on a platter thing mate.

 

[alan partridge]

Dont remember jesus mincing about spouting left wing crap and posting purile threads on Mb's oh well.

only a true believer, denies his beliefs

 

[looney]

Except when I dunk your bulbous head in the river I'll f***ing hold you down there.