Good afternoon. I'm Chris Packham. Welcome to this, the finale of the 2019 World's Hardest Creature competition. WHC XII saw a couple of new competitors come... and then quickly go, with early exits for the Naked Mole Rat and Titan Triggerfish. Many of our old favourites put up a spirited performance, with semi final exits for the Polar Bear and Grasshopper Mouse. The Honey Badger was the victim of a surprise ambush at the quarter final stage, when it was jumped by the Seagull, who then mystifyingly failed to show up for its own semi final.
And then there were two. Our defending champion, the Hippo, has had a serene passage to the final where it comes face to face with a new foe. The Jaguar has made it to the WHC final at its third attempt and has been the surprise package of this year's competition. The Jag has collected many new admirers in 2019 with its impressive showreel. Going into the match the bookies have the Hippo down as the comfortable favourite but it would be foolish to underestimate the Jaguar, who got up off the canvas in the final minute to land a scoring blow against the Polar Bear and make its way into the semi final.
The time for talking is over. It's show time! The first of our competitors is ready to enter the ring. Here comes the Jaguar...
I can see the Jag for the first time now, as it enters the arena to the sound of, unsurprisingly, Jaguar by The Who. It's looking resplendent, sleek, lithe and very much the apex predator. The crowd are roaring their approval but don't go getting too close to those teeth people. This guy is a stone cold killer. The Jaguar enters the ring now and just look at it as it prowls around the ropes, awaiting its opponent.
And here comes the Hippo now. Bad to the Bone blares out over the PA and the Hippo smiles as it makes his way down to the ring. It looks relaxed, it looks supremely confident. It's absolutely the beast in form right now, not having tasted defeat for two years. It's struggling a little with the ropes there. Seems they weren't really made with two tons of Hippo in mind but it's safely in now.
So now it's over to our MC for the evening, the legendary Michael Buffer and the introductions...
Thank you Chris. I'm sure everybody at home would like to join me in tanking you for your superlative coverage over the tournament. Now! Ladies and gentlemen, the tens of thousands of you gathered here inside the Animal Dome and to the millions watching at home all across the globe... Are... you... READY?. I said Are... you... RRRRRREEEEEAAADYYY?
Ladies and gentlemen. Let's get rrrreeeeaaaaddddyyyy to RUUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLE!
(Crowd roars)
In the blue corner, weighing in at 3,000 kilos, it's Africa's leading killer. It's unbreakable. It's unstoppable. It is the undisputed king of the river bank. The river horse. It's the defending champion. Ladies and gentlemen... It's the HIP-PO-POTAMUUUUUUUUS.
And in the red corner, weighing in at 150 kilos, it's the largest cat in the Americas. It's a wiry mass of muscle and teeth. A sleek, mean killing machine. Making its debut in the WHC final, please welcome... thhhhheeeeee JAAAAAAAA-GUUUUU-AAAAAAARRRR.
So before the referee gets this underway, let's take one last look at the tale of the tape.
Hippopotamus
2nd round - beat Deathstalker Scorpion 38 to 21
Quarter final - beat Mantis Shrimp 38 to 23
Semi Final - beat Polar Bear and Grasshopper Mouse 23 to 15 and 18
Total knockout votes received = 99
The Hippo, while being vegetarian, earns its hard spurs by virtue of its unmatched ability to pick a fight with anything that annoys it. It has the strongest bite of any creature outside the Crocodile clan, regularly squares up to the very biggest beasts the world has to offer and is responsible for more human fatalities in Africa than any other animal
Jaguar
2nd round - beat Tasmanian Devil 33 to 25
Quarter final - Tied with the Polar Bear 32 each
Semi final - beat Seagull 38 to 21
Total knockout votes received = 103
The Jaguar, while not a backstreet brawler, is unquestionably hard due to its regularly going toe to toe with other apex predators. It has a bite force second only to Crocodiles and the Hippo but its strength is the greatest pound for pound owing to its more compact frame. It has its own signature strike, crushing the skull of its prey with a single bite. It can hunt on land or in water and has been known to chase opponents up trees. There's nowhere this bad boy won't fight.
And now there's just time to have one last look at our finalists in action. Here's the Hippo getting characteristically angry at a boat sharing its water.
And here's the Jaguar skilfully taking down a Caiman. Here we also see its skill underwater.
And now our referee, the Grasshopper Mouse, calls the two finalists into the centre of the ring. The fight is now just seconds away. They touch gloves...
AND THERE'S THE BELL. THE FIGHT IS ON.
