The group stages continue with another almighty rumble. Much was made of Group B being the Group of Death but here comes another one right behind it. There are some big beasts here, which is surely testament to the strength in depth the World's Hardest Creature tournament possesses as it enter its second decade. Some big names won't make it into the velvet bag next week. The Mantis Shrimp is in trouble. The Jaguar is frankly looking a little punch drug. The Elephant Seal has even been roughed up by the Slug. What surprises lie in store for this group which, lest we forget, contains the defending champion. Once again, it's up to you. Here come the contestants...
Bulldog Ant - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrmecia_(ant)
The name gives a clue here. It's hard to read anything about the Bulldog Ant without stumbling across the word 'aggressive' and 'painful' is usually fairly close behind. Their Wikipedia page devotes an entire paragraph just to their sting, which should probably tell you something. Not only is it fiercely painful but it is barbless, meaning that the Bulldog Ant can sting repeatedly without having to worry about leaving its guts behind.
Planarian - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian
An atypical entrant in the Pantheon of Hard, the Planarian earns its place mainly through its inability to lie down and die. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands you're unlikely to be able to hack one of these to death. Research suggests that a remnant as small as 1/277th of the original Planarian will still regrow to a complete organism. Cleft its head in two and it just goes ahead and grows two heads. Brilliant.
Polar Bear - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear
A giant of WHC who needs no introduction. Three times winner, the Polar Bear took some time off to relax with its trophy collection. Now it's back and ready for action. Pretty much the only thing that can touch is it climate change. It is an artful hunter with numerous strategies for catching its prey. Massively powerful and has carved out a niche for itself in one of the harshest places on earth. Undeniably hard but is it still hard enough?
Honey Badger - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_badger
Here it comes! The defending champion and source of much WHC controversy in recent years. The Honey Badger's enthusiastic supporters have agonised for years at this mentalist's inability to claim the top prize but 2017 finally saw the Honey Badger lift the trophy. You'll all know its credentials by now. Living slap bang in the heart of The Big Five, the Honey Badger has more predators than you've had hot dinners. Despite this it will go toe to toe with more or less anything. Fights lions, eats snakes and makes a general nuisance of itself to its neighbours. I could go on but then more than enough of you will doubtless want to rally to the Honey Badger's cause and YouTube is teeming with HB lunacy.
Black Mamba - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_mamba
Sleek, elegant, agile, powerful and also the fastest snake in all of Africa. If that wasn't hard enough it also turns out to be blisteringly venomous. Untreated black mamba bites have a mortality rate of as near as dammit 100% and will bring most humans to their feet within an hour; killing them within a day. It also has the ability to raise as much as 40% of its body off the ground when attacking, meaning it can easily reach your unmentionables. Beware.
Bull Shark - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_shark
Can tolerate both salt and fresh water and have been known to make their way well up river. This is unfortunate, as they are aggressive as heck. Wikipedia suggests that they have "no tolerance for provocation". Essentially a Francis Begbie in the shallows. The Bull Shark is arguably the most dangerous of all sharks to humans. It has been suggested that bull sharks were responsible for a series of attacks in 1916 that were the inspiration for the book Jaws. Not exactly soft then.
Cockroach - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockroach
Not hard by virtue of its aggression but by its remarkable ability to withstand anything thrown at it. We're all familiar with the suggestion that the cockroach will comfortably survive a nuclear holocaust. Who knows? If our featured human has anything to do with it this theory might soon be put to the test. Don't feed them and they'll poodle along for a month eating envelope glue if need be. They can go without air for long periods and some species' bodies have been known to get along reasonably well despite decapitation.
Tardigrade - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade
Redefining hardiness, here comes the Tardigrade: a water dwelling micro-animal that hangs out wherever it bloody well pleases with specimens found in the deep ocean, mud volcanoes and Antarctic. One of the most resilient of all animals, the Tardigrade laughs in the face of environmental deprivation, merrily rolling along regardless of temperature, pressure, radiation, food or similar niceties. 'Extreme' is probably written through tardigrades like a stick of rock. They can even survive, albeit briefly, at just a dash above absolute zero. They've been around more than 500 million years and, when faced with all five mass extinctions on earth, simply shrugged and shuffled on.
Cassowary - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary
The Cassowary: claws with a bird on top. The Cassowary sports a three toed foot bearing a five inch dagger of a claw reportedly capable of lopping of an arm or making a right mess of an abdomen. With a powerful kick, strong swim, high jump and fast run you'd be well advised not to pick a fight with a Cassowary should you chance upon one.
Human - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human
Apologies to all of you offended by the photograph but this particular specimen constitutes arguably the most powerful human on the planet so this is where we find ourselves. What humankind lacks in fantastical senses, claws, speed or strength is more than made up for by its sheer, mercurial bloody mindedness. Can't fly? Balls, I'll make an aircraft. Can't outrun a cheetah? Check out this Bugatti. Fancy a nice tasty bit of mammoth. Covered with some rapid whittling. Humankind: it just finds a way.
Bulldog Ant - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrmecia_(ant)
The name gives a clue here. It's hard to read anything about the Bulldog Ant without stumbling across the word 'aggressive' and 'painful' is usually fairly close behind. Their Wikipedia page devotes an entire paragraph just to their sting, which should probably tell you something. Not only is it fiercely painful but it is barbless, meaning that the Bulldog Ant can sting repeatedly without having to worry about leaving its guts behind.
Planarian - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian
An atypical entrant in the Pantheon of Hard, the Planarian earns its place mainly through its inability to lie down and die. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands you're unlikely to be able to hack one of these to death. Research suggests that a remnant as small as 1/277th of the original Planarian will still regrow to a complete organism. Cleft its head in two and it just goes ahead and grows two heads. Brilliant.
Polar Bear - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear
A giant of WHC who needs no introduction. Three times winner, the Polar Bear took some time off to relax with its trophy collection. Now it's back and ready for action. Pretty much the only thing that can touch is it climate change. It is an artful hunter with numerous strategies for catching its prey. Massively powerful and has carved out a niche for itself in one of the harshest places on earth. Undeniably hard but is it still hard enough?
Honey Badger - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_badger
Here it comes! The defending champion and source of much WHC controversy in recent years. The Honey Badger's enthusiastic supporters have agonised for years at this mentalist's inability to claim the top prize but 2017 finally saw the Honey Badger lift the trophy. You'll all know its credentials by now. Living slap bang in the heart of The Big Five, the Honey Badger has more predators than you've had hot dinners. Despite this it will go toe to toe with more or less anything. Fights lions, eats snakes and makes a general nuisance of itself to its neighbours. I could go on but then more than enough of you will doubtless want to rally to the Honey Badger's cause and YouTube is teeming with HB lunacy.
Black Mamba - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_mamba
Sleek, elegant, agile, powerful and also the fastest snake in all of Africa. If that wasn't hard enough it also turns out to be blisteringly venomous. Untreated black mamba bites have a mortality rate of as near as dammit 100% and will bring most humans to their feet within an hour; killing them within a day. It also has the ability to raise as much as 40% of its body off the ground when attacking, meaning it can easily reach your unmentionables. Beware.
Bull Shark - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_shark
Can tolerate both salt and fresh water and have been known to make their way well up river. This is unfortunate, as they are aggressive as heck. Wikipedia suggests that they have "no tolerance for provocation". Essentially a Francis Begbie in the shallows. The Bull Shark is arguably the most dangerous of all sharks to humans. It has been suggested that bull sharks were responsible for a series of attacks in 1916 that were the inspiration for the book Jaws. Not exactly soft then.
Cockroach - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockroach
Not hard by virtue of its aggression but by its remarkable ability to withstand anything thrown at it. We're all familiar with the suggestion that the cockroach will comfortably survive a nuclear holocaust. Who knows? If our featured human has anything to do with it this theory might soon be put to the test. Don't feed them and they'll poodle along for a month eating envelope glue if need be. They can go without air for long periods and some species' bodies have been known to get along reasonably well despite decapitation.
Tardigrade - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade
Redefining hardiness, here comes the Tardigrade: a water dwelling micro-animal that hangs out wherever it bloody well pleases with specimens found in the deep ocean, mud volcanoes and Antarctic. One of the most resilient of all animals, the Tardigrade laughs in the face of environmental deprivation, merrily rolling along regardless of temperature, pressure, radiation, food or similar niceties. 'Extreme' is probably written through tardigrades like a stick of rock. They can even survive, albeit briefly, at just a dash above absolute zero. They've been around more than 500 million years and, when faced with all five mass extinctions on earth, simply shrugged and shuffled on.
Cassowary - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary
The Cassowary: claws with a bird on top. The Cassowary sports a three toed foot bearing a five inch dagger of a claw reportedly capable of lopping of an arm or making a right mess of an abdomen. With a powerful kick, strong swim, high jump and fast run you'd be well advised not to pick a fight with a Cassowary should you chance upon one.
Human - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human
Apologies to all of you offended by the photograph but this particular specimen constitutes arguably the most powerful human on the planet so this is where we find ourselves. What humankind lacks in fantastical senses, claws, speed or strength is more than made up for by its sheer, mercurial bloody mindedness. Can't fly? Balls, I'll make an aircraft. Can't outrun a cheetah? Check out this Bugatti. Fancy a nice tasty bit of mammoth. Covered with some rapid whittling. Humankind: it just finds a way.
