Work Related Horror Story

[adrian29uk]

I learn my lesson about 9 years ago. I was working on a project that involved a well known local Friday paper, you know the one.

Everyday their employee would visit us on site for meetings. One lunch break I got chatting to another colleague about this person. I called him, a fu(King twat, I also said he did not know what he is doing, and that his employees should fire him because he is a complete twat.

Anyway unknown to me he had quietly slipped in and was waiting in the next room for the meeting to start. Upon entering I could have curled up in a ball. He never said anything, but I knew he heard me. I felt like a complete twat.

Since this day, if I ever slag any manager off, I will always double make sure know one is around, or better still try not to slag them off in the first place.

I also make sure my phone is firmly locked. There have been occasions where I have rang people accidently, so they have heard everything I said.

I have also been slagging off a person on text, and accidently sent the text to that person, only realising this after I have pressed send.

 

[DIFFBROOK]

I recall when I was in my 20's and still vain enough not to wear glasses even though my eyesight was showing severe signs of shot sightedness. Anyhow, one such Friday lunchtime in the pub I was chatting to a few colleagues (probably fairly loud like you do when you have had a drink or two) and was commenting on the number of fags our boss smoked.

There was I claiming that he smoked X number of fags at X price and it must cost him X amount a year. No wonder he is too skint to take his Mrs on holiday, or that he is killing her or he could buy a better car than that wreck his drives etc etc etc, really going to town.

I noticed my colleagues trying to interupt me, but I was in full flow. Then suddenly a bloke got closer and closer and closer until even my poor eyesight could make it out. It was the boss. He was sitting only a few rows away and must have heard. All he did was say I will see you back at the office.

That walk back was the longest walk ever. When he got back he never said a word. I can only assume that smoke must have clogged his ears up.

From that day on, I wore glasses.

 

[Scoffers]

Truth hurts you know

 

[Meade's Ball]

I was just answering the phone from someone a month or so ago, about to announce my "Good morning, how can i help?" when my colleague sat on the next desk released a lengthy squealer whilst looking dead at me. The person on the other end of the phone could hear no such thing, but as she explained her life story and needs to work in the UK as Radiographer i was in hysterics over what had just happened and had to keep saying "a-ha"s and "yes"es and "ok"s in uncontrollable yelps. After a minute i was forced to say that something had occurred and i had to put her on hold for a moment. I think i probably laughed for another 10 minutes, the colleague guffawing and looking at me all the while, before picking up the phone and trying to explain how her situation was utterly reasonable and being placed on hold was due to a mysterious noise erupting outside the office window and me having to investigate what it was in case of emergency. Fortunately, the x-ray-eyed talker found this moderately humurous and the problems she had were then dealt with.
I suppose the future answer to it all would be to mature and not find anal gases the slightest bit funny.

 

[Wardy]

Heard a story last night about a guy who wanted to do something special for his wife's birthday. He arranged a big night out, left work early and arranged for the local radio station to call his wife and pretend that he had been sacked and would be home early.

When the station called his wife, with him listerning in, they said that they were calling from his company and it was about her husband. She asked worringly if he was okay. The they replied that he was but they had had to sack him.

She then went off on one saying how he had worked for the company for years and would do anything for them and that they could not sack him. She finished this off with, so why did you sack him?

They then replied that it was because he had been caught shagging his secratary over his desk.

To this she lost it completley and went right off on one. Included in her response was the line...

" And I do not even feel bad now for f***ing his brother."

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

Can't fire you if you own enough of the company!

another pretentious comment

 

[Barrow Boy]

My eldest daughter used to work for a well known national chain of chemists part time while she was doing her A levels. An American woman came in one Saturday morning and asked her if they had anything for crabs ! my daughter coloured up and said "I'll go and ask the pharmacist". The pharmacist came round the counter and asked the woman, as discreetly as he could, was she sure she had crabs when the woman gave him a look of horror and hissed at him "I said I wanted something for CRAMPS not frigging crabs".