Why don't British players have great nicknames

[lawros left foot]

Like 'The Dagger' or The Cyclone? We just seem to have'Becks' or 'Lamps',really boring name related ones

 

[ElectricNaz]

'One Size' Fitz Hall is pretty much the only decent one I can think of!

 

[lawros left foot]

Joey Barton could be 'The Twatter'

 

[Bladders]

Rooney is Shrek

 

[Superphil]

I'm sure I read that Vicente was never called the Dagger till he got here

 

[Jesus Gul]

Trolley is quite cool as a nickname

 

[BHA96]

Barn Door Billy?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Because footballers are generally quite stupid. They lack the wit to come up with much, so they just contract (or add a "y" to) their actual name (note: each team must also throw in an inevitable Chopper & a Sicknote as standard).

Hence our dressing room almost certainly resounds to Kush, Greersy, Ads/Chopper, Dunky, Bridgey, Paints, Bridds, Dave, Calde, Barnsey, Macca, Bucks, Kaz, Sicknote, Andy, Dobes, Jakey, Hammo, Croftsy and er, Leo (who 30 years ago would probably have been tagged General Belgrano or something).

 

[StonehamPark]

Leon Knight - Giro

 

[Cappers]

Cant beat 'Sparky' for Mark Hughes. WTF?
Anyone any clues?


Brian 'Chocky' McClair always made me laugh

 

[The Large One]

OK here goes...

Koosh - The Potato
Bruno - The Bannister of Fear
Greer - The Grinning Executioner
Hammond - The Oil Tanker
Dunk - Best leave that one for now
El-Abd - Bomber
Hoskins - The Brylcreem Bastard
Crofts - The Parsnip of Death
Barnes - The Black Hand Tattoo
Dobbie - The Procrastinating Spinning Top
Orlandi - The Thumb Sucker


Totally arbitrary, but something to be going along with.

 

[The Large One]

Cant beat 'Sparky' for Mark Hughes. WTF?
Anyone any clues?


Brian 'Chocky' McClair always made me laugh

Marks & Sparks. Old one.

 

[Icy Gull]

Not a footballer but Martin Offiah - Chariots of Fire - is a pretty good one

 

[Northstander]

Cant beat 'Sparky' for Mark Hughes. WTF?
Anyone any clues?

Named after a comic "back-in't-Dayyy" when he was a kid

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Gus Poyet - radio

 

[midnight_rendezvous]

OK here goes...

Koosh - The Potato
Bruno - The Bannister of Fear
Greer - The Grinning Executioner
Hammond - The Oil Tanker
Dunk - Best leave that one for now
El-Abd - Bomber
Hoskins - The Brylcreem Bastard
Crofts - The Parsnip of Death
Barnes - The Black Hand Tattoo
Dobbie - The Procrastinating Spinning Top
Orlandi - The Thumb Sucker


Totally arbitrary, but something to be going along with.

 

[SeagullSongs]

Alex 'The Ox' Oxlade-Chamberlain

 

[Bold Seagull]

I' pretty sure that 'The Labrador' has started to become the default reference term for a certain striker, definitely around us anyway.

 

[Kumquat]

Kiki Musampa was called "Chris" which was quite funny. Not English though obviously.

I believe recently deceased cricketing legend Graham Dilley was called "Picca" as well. i liked that.

 

[Kumquat]

Gus Poyet - radio

As in "radio rental"?