Who's been the perpetrator of crime?
- Thread starter Les Biehn
- Start date
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Parson Henry
New member
Les Biehn said:
Crime against fashion and style maybe.
Da Man Clay
T'Blades
- Dec 16, 2004
- 16,286
A few in my time. Never caught tho.
Meade's Ball
Well-known member
I stole a man's personality about 15 years ago. I saw him unhappily sweltering in the morbid pigland of Wimpy ownership. The cost of plates and overtime and washing machine and rat-trappers and boilers meant he had had enough of daylight and companionship and things like rates and gloves and sexual protection. So, i clubbed him and sent his living cadaver to the wells of borderline Sussex. At weekend i'd toss edible abdomens at his crusty, amish mouth and lowers pages of books i'd found in the outskirts of charity shops. 3 months later he died and my life as his was easier. The following year i got bored and became Derek Redmond and then Daley Thompson. Lots of moments spent on de-loucing and somersalted moustachio care and my sprinting ability. I cut ribbons at local markets and let children sit on my lap for Weetabix.
British Bulldog
The great escape
- Feb 6, 2006
- 10,974
Drunk & Disorderly. 
Last edited:
Parson Henry
New member
Leslie have you officially informed NSC that you are now PC Biehn of Buggers Hill nick?
Scoffers
Well-known member
I think we all have, technically, parking in the wrong place, gone slightly over the speeding limit, maybe had a half too many before driving home, we are all of us criminals !
British Bulldog
The great escape
- Feb 6, 2006
- 10,974
Les Biehn said:
Thats roughly the reason I got arrested. Six hours they locked me up for, still got out in time for another pint though.
The Clown of Pevensey Bay
Well-known member
Was threatened with arrest under the Lotteries and Amusements Act 1984 once. I was doing some illegal public raffle-ticket selling for some bloke who was in prison 
Meade's Ball
Well-known member
I hate cyclists more than ever today. And motorcyclists who continually inch forwards for their own speedy reward in the face of common manners and queueing rights. This morning, i called someone, who passed me as i waited at a red light, Dr Turd. I think that name might stay with me for today. If you get called it, it was me and i think you're a ****.
Aggravated trespass, threatening abusive and insulting behaviour, besetting and watching then they tried to get me on criminal damage and harassment but failed. They tried a riot charge as well until the dimwit coppers realised there were not twelve of us.
The watching and besetting was at a separate time to the others, the others all happened over one weekend.
Paddy.
The watching and besetting was at a separate time to the others, the others all happened over one weekend.
Paddy.
British Bulldog
The great escape
- Feb 6, 2006
- 10,974
I nearly got arrested for being a good citizen, victim & criminal all at the same time one night. Walking home from the pub I saw a bloke knocking his missus about so I stepped in, then he started knocking me about, by the time the police turned up he was unconcious on the ground & my knuckles were swollen to f**k. The police were going to arrest me for assault until some witnesses told them what happened, In the end they just took my details and I heard no more.
Les Biehn said:
It's when you and three of your mates are walking behind someone (on their way to work) on the street in an 'intimidating' manner. Who knew walking behind someone on Elland Road was such an offence.
It is meant for trade disputes I think.
It didn't stick anyway. The ob thought they had us good and proper until it all blew up in their faces.