What's the very first thing you do once you wake up in the morning?

[Brighton TID]

For me, I have a massive fart, without fail. Whether I had baked beans for dinner the night before or not. I will always open my eyes and let rip.

The missus hates it.

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

Let's get this out the way now so we can move on:

"Have a w@nk"

 

[Dave the OAP]

Have a stretch and hit my hands on the bed stead....every bloody morning!

 

[Mowgli37]

Imagine myself making hot, sweaty, passionate love to Jo Brand so as to get rid of the morning wood.

 

[Insel affe]

Open my eyes look around the room and realize it was all a dream.

 

[Mackenzie]

Open my eyes usually.

 

[scooter1]

Tell my son to "get back into bed, its too early to get up"

 

[spongy]

Open eyes
Get out of bed to turn my alarm off, I use a really annoying alarm tone and put my phone out of reach so it makes me get up.

 

[Brighton TID]

Open my eyes usually.

The assumption here is that by waking up, you have already opened your eyes, but nice try

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

Snooze for 30 mins knowing it will make my morning hell.

 

[Munkfish]

If its the middle of the night, i will generally roll over try and finger blast the Mrs, however get knocked back and roll back to sleep.

If I wake up naturally I useally check the time, hope I have cheated sleep and find out I have an hour or two left.

If I am woken by my alarm snooze it and have a stretch.

 

[Papa Lazarou]

Turn off the alarm on my phone then have a shower.

 

[Nibble]

Turn radio up, swing legs out of bed and weep.

 

[Hillian1]

Put on slippers, put on dressing gown, go downstairs, feed the cat and make tea.

 

[vegster]

wake up

 

[jimbob5]

For me, I have a massive fart, without fail. Whether I had baked beans for dinner the night before or not. I will always open my eyes and let rip.

The missus hates it.

I know she does. I know she does!

 

[The Large One]

Swear at John Humphries.

 

[jimbob5]

Let's get this out the way now so we can move on:

"Have a w@nk"

I know you do. I KNOW you do!

 

[Pavilionaire]

Scratch my balls and adjust my chap.

 

[pasty]

Try and remember what day it is to see if I:

a: have to rush about like a lunatic to get to the station to go to London (Mon-Wed)
b: have a bit of a snooze if I am working from home (Thur-Fri)
c: go back to sleep if I'm not working (Sat-Sun)