What's the very first thing you do once you wake up in the morning?

[Chinman3000]

I think about what I can cut out of my morning routine, in order to obtain as many extra minutes in bed as possible, before finally coceeding that I do HAVE to get up for work and drag myself into the bathroom.

I have been doing that since the age of 16 and it has never got easier.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Get up and walk round the bed to turn the Teasmaid on, if it hasn't been used as an alarm......

or, Get up and walk around the bed to turn the teasmaid off once it has made the tea, if it has been used as an alarm, and to stop the annoying alarm noise early having already been woken up by the noise the thing makes in whooshing the water through to the teapot.

 

[Monsieur Le Plonk]

I religiously utter 'FFS' (the swear word not the footballer) as the 5.30 alarm goes off. Hate it.

 

[Badger]

Let's get this out the way now so we can move on:

"Have a w@nk"

Only at weekends, it's not a treat otherwise. Although if I've had a night out the w@nk sometimes has to come second to a MASSIVE dump

On weekdays I turn the alarm off on my phone and read any messages I have.

 

[jimbob5]

Scratch my balls and adjust my chap.

I know. I wish you wouldn't!

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Count my bolllocks,fart,let the dogs out for a piss and have a cuppa.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Very first thing is to try and pretend it's not actually happening, but I've not managed to fool myself yet.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

Look at the time on my mobile, and it is always before 6am.

 

[Puppet Master]

If I have to be somewhere important, I throw my pillow, shout a few cuss words then lay there for a bit with my head in my hands self-pitying.

if not, go back to sleep.

 

[jonsey]

Swear at John Humphries.[/QUOTE

Do you roll over and give him a cuddle at the same time ??

 

[Meade's Ball]

I roll over to check the light and darkness of the outside world with just one eyeball, before speedily deciding whether I should go to the toilet with both eyes open or not. If it's 6 something, then off I waddle in the general dark to set my bladder into action before stumbling back into bed determined to remember a little later the dream I was just half in. Of course, nothing, nada, zilch remains. Pah. I do recall though, something to do with a scenario from Alien, in which the phallic acid-splurter his creeping around the walls of my house in one dream of t'other day. Scary that was. Still try to go back to bed to get back into it though.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Put the White Lightening bottle in the nearest bin, wipe the park bench down and wave at the joggers.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Change the sheets and scrub the mattress.

 

[Luke93]

Tell my noisy neighbours to shut up.

 

[Official Old Man]

For me, I have a massive fart, without fail. Whether I had baked beans for dinner the night before or not. I will always open my eyes and let rip.

The missus hates it.

Wait until you've gone out, get around your house and s**g your missus.
Always wondered what the smell was in your bedroom.



(this of course is a joke. no offence is meant)

 

[bn1&bn3 Albion]

Think I should have gone to bed earlier...

 

[AnotherArch]

Before I retired I stayed away a lot, so for me it was to think: "where am I?" and "what day is it?".
The worst thing was when noises in a dream turned out to be an alarm or telephone ringing in the new, strange room - and then scrabbling around trying to find out how to turn the damn thing off.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I much prefer waking up an hour or so early and snoozing as opposed to waking up at a time that means I have to get up imminently*.


* not the BHAFC definition.

 

[Rogero]

Have a wee and a poo. Then I get out of bed.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Remove the cat from my head.