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[Misc] What would you do?

What would you do?

  • Leave the table

    Votes: 2 1.2%
  • Stay at the table

    Votes: 148 90.8%
  • Other response - it better be funny

    Votes: 13 8.0%

  • Total voters
    163


Weststander

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2011
69,240
Withdean area
Yeah it would have to come across sincere. They'd have to make me believe that they knew they were being cheeky, and knew I was doing them a big favour.

When I was a teenager I used to work in a supermarket. Customers who asked me politely/nicely if we had stuff in the warehouse, I would look after. I'd go check, and if it was out of stock I'd find out when it was due back in.
If someone was rude to me, I would pretend to check the warehouse, and leave them standing by the door. I'd go out of another door, go back to what I was doing and leave them standing there.
It's all about how you ask.

I’ve worked with people who are incredibly rude/aggressive over the phone to people just doing their job eg HMRC staff. I loved it as they never seemed to get anywhere, adding to the beetroot faced anger.

Whereas being polite and respectful in my experience gets you a long way.
 






Theatre of Trees

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
7,838
TQ2905
When I was a teenager I used to work in a supermarket. Customers who asked me politely/nicely if we had stuff in the warehouse, I would look after. I'd go check, and if it was out of stock I'd find out when it was due back in.
If someone was rude to me, I would pretend to check the warehouse, and leave them standing by the door. I'd go out of another door, go back to what I was doing and leave them standing there.
It's all about how you ask.
During my teenage years serving tables in a hotel restaurant we did something similar, a particular favourite were the arrogant ones who complained about an aspect of the meal, it doesn't look right or it is not hot enough, whereupon us waiters would return to the kitchen with the plate, rearrange the position of one or two potatoes and take the same meal straight back out - amazingly enough they seemed very satisfied with the 'new' dish. They would do this all week and then not bother tipping you at the end. Bastards
 








Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,070
Faversham
Join in, and make lots and lots of very useful contributions - despite knowing absolutely nothing about the issues.
You are Rishi Sunak and I claim my five pounds worth of premium bonds.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,070
Faversham
I'd take out my phone, pretending to have received a call (on vibro mode), and then shoo her away, like she's a nuisance chugger, while talking inane bollocks very loudly to my imaginary colleague.

I have done this on numerous occasions when noisy twats are annoying me on the train to work.
 


Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
I'd take out my phone, pretending to have received a call (on vibro mode), and then shoo her away, like she's a nuisance chugger, while talking inane bollocks very loudly to my imaginary colleague.

I have done this on numerous occasions when noisy twats are annoying me on the train to work.
 




Paulie Gualtieri

Bada Bing
NSC Patron
May 8, 2018
10,616
Yeah it would have to come across sincere. They'd have to make me believe that they knew they were being cheeky, and knew I was doing them a big favour.

When I was a teenager I used to work in a supermarket. Customers who asked me politely/nicely if we had stuff in the warehouse, I would look after. I'd go check, and if it was out of stock I'd find out when it was due back in.
If someone was rude to me, I would pretend to check the warehouse, and leave them standing by the door. I'd go out of another door, go back to what I was doing and leave them standing there.
It's all about how you ask.
Everyday I used to tell people it was my first day so I couldn’t possibly know
 








Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
I'd take out my phone, pretending to have received a call (on vibro mode), and then shoo her away, like she's a nuisance chugger, while talking inane bollocks very loudly to my imaginary colleague.

I have done this on numerous occasions when noisy twats are annoying me on the train to work.
Is that the live equivalent of your ignore list?
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,070
Faversham
Is that the live equivalent of your ignore list?
Yep.

Militant's slogan was 'no compromise with the electorate'.

Mine is 'no compromise with the illiterate, the intellectually incontinent, and ****s'. Fact.

:wink: Hope you are keeping reasonably cheerful in trying times. :thumbsup:
 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,338
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Take the minutes then leave them your bill.
I'd hope I'd stay put and have something to hand to take notes on. Notes on the phone would probably do it. Followed by a fake call to my 'boss' debriefing them on our rival firm's important call.

I'd probably just sit there with a new coffee loudly coughing and banging the table though.

However, I'd probably be submitting this tweet for Twitter / X's "didn't happen of the year" award.
 




Justice

Dangerous Idiot
Jun 21, 2012
20,658
Born In Shoreham
Many years ago I was on a packed train back from London and took a seat in the buffet car at a table. The other blokes on the table got out some green baize to start playing cards across my space and another bloke was stood over me to join in.

At this point, I opened my briefcase to get out my Walkman (this was the 80s) and a book but the first thing that the others on the table could see was the large, fixed blade Stanley knife I had with me as I had been working with coax cables. At this point, I received some rushed apologies for taking my space and they abandoned their card game.
‘ Have you meet Stanley ‘ said in a Scouse accent
 


Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,895
I’ve worked with people who are incredibly rude/aggressive over the phone to people just doing their job eg HMRC staff. I loved it as they never seemed to get anywhere, adding to the beetroot faced anger.

Whereas being polite and respectful in my experience gets you a long way.
I have to bite my tongue with HMRC.

When I was made redundant I was given a secondary payment that was regarded as capital and not income under law. I had my benefits stopped. I called them and was told that I wasn't eligible. It was only when I quoted their own rules at them, via their own online pages, that it was referred and the benefits were re-instated. I was rather annoyed as other folk might not have known the law and lost out on a lot of much needed cash. That's not the only problems I've had with them not knowing their own rules. A bit like when my Dad received a bill for Mum's pension being taken out after she died. He hadn't been taking it out at all, he just hadn't stopped it. I was fuming because another elderly person without the support of a son or daughter might have panicked.

I'm never rude and aggressive. I once did wrote the transcript of one of my many conversations with HMRC after I was out of work for a few months. This felt like all the conversations:

Me: I need a P45 for my new employers
Universal Credit: We don't issue them.
Me: How is my new employer going to know what the correct tax code is then ?
Universal Credit: We can issue a letter confirming your Universal Credit entitlement.
Me: That won't give them the correct historical figures. So what do I do here ?
Universal Credit: I don't know....
 








Giraffe

VERY part time moderator
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Aug 8, 2005
27,217
This EXACT situation happened to me just last week. To be fair, I was sat alone at a table for four people. The three remaining chairs were the only ones available in this coffee bar in a hotel. Two guys sat down and said do you mind. I said no. The third joined a few minutes later and said, “sorry mate but we need to have a confidential chat”. I assumed he thought I was the interloper so just went with it as a spare table had come up anyway. I did wonder what the first two must have thought though! So I voted I’d love, because I did!
 


Shropshire Seagull

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2004
8,785
Telford
I have to bite my tongue with HMRC.

When I was made redundant I was given a secondary payment that was regarded as capital and not income under law. I had my benefits stopped. I called them and was told that I wasn't eligible. It was only when I quoted their own rules at them, via their own online pages, that it was referred and the benefits were re-instated. I was rather annoyed as other folk might not have known the law and lost out on a lot of much needed cash. That's not the only problems I've had with them not knowing their own rules. A bit like when my Dad received a bill for Mum's pension being taken out after she died. He hadn't been taking it out at all, he just hadn't stopped it. I was fuming because another elderly person without the support of a son or daughter might have panicked.

I'm never rude and aggressive. I once did wrote the transcript of one of my many conversations with HMRC after I was out of work for a few months. This felt like all the conversations:

Me: I need a P45 for my new employers
Universal Credit: We don't issue them.
Me: How is my new employer going to know what the correct tax code is then ?
Universal Credit: We can issue a letter confirming your Universal Credit entitlement.
Me: That won't give them the correct historical figures. So what do I do here ?
Universal Credit: I don't know....
A Pedant writes:

Universal Credit is operated by the DWP, not HMRC ....
 


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