[Football] What type of football daddy are you?

[DJ NOBO]

I take the Roy Keane approach.
It will end in the Premier League or therapy.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

I coached for a few years but generally avoided managing a team as I didn't want the crap from parents.

I used to tell the kids "when you are on the pitch, you listen to me and not to your parents". If parents didn't agree with that, then tough.

Coaching 5-8 year olds was great fun and generally parents were just happy to see their kid enjoying themselves. As soon as they started to get involved in 'competitive' matches, you started to see the parents who think their kid is the next Ronaldo/Rapinoe or who are living their own failed football dreams through their child.

Once the kids get to 12/13, some of them get too lippy and if you don't get the support of parents, you are on a hiding to nothing.

Generally I was lucky as we had a good group of balanced parents around who would also help out where they could.

Ironically, the one who caused me the most grief was a committee member who I had to put in a complaint about because his behaviour was so bad.

 

[portslade seagull]

When I was a youth coach I had all types. The angry ones who put a lot of pressure on their kids, the angry ones who moaned at other peoples kids, the ones questioning my decisions, the ones yelling instructions to players, the cheerleader ones, the quiet beard scratching ones, the nervous ones...

Obviously some types are difficult to handle, some Ive straight up had to tell to shut up or **** off, others actually contribute to good atmosphere or are just generally helpful (carrying water bottles or whatnot). In the end however there was always mutual understanding that some emotions are difficult to control but that I was the coach/dictator.

Im guessing a lot of people in here got kids who plays or once played football. What kind of football dad are you and do you have any memorable experiences about other football dads?

Saw all of these types during 16yrs of refereeing even square ups on the sidelines where I have stopped the match called the managers together and threatened to abandon the match. It was parents squaring up

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Ok, ok... I'll keep my mouth shut Actually, son says he never hears me as he's focused on the game . Some kids though I do see getting pulled left and right by parental 'coaching', and you are right.

I think that was my point. What you having been doing pales into insignificance compared to many. I am sure that whatever you do to help the coach will be appreciated.

 

[el punal]

I thought I would throw this one in but it’s cricket related rather than football. Last year my grandson was playing cricket for his school in a “round robin” limited overs tournament. Me and Mrs.Punal went to watch along with my daughter and son in law.

As expected all of us adults behaved in manner befitting the event - offering encouragement and praising or consoling when required to the players involved, who were under 12. I say all of us except one, who happened to be the father of one of the boys in my grandson’s team.

From the very start he paced up and down the boundary shouting at his son to do this or that, bellowing at him if he was less than perfect. In between overs he would constantly emphasise to his son how he should improve. Not once did he offer any praise or encouragement.

The final straw was literally in the final, and the final ball. My grandson’s team had to ensure that the opposition didn’t score off the last delivery. Mr.Angry’s son was the wicket keeper and unfortunately made a hash of collecting the ball as the batsman missed. A bye was run and that was that. The poor lad was absolutely distraught and instead of consoling his boy Mr.Angry tore into him relentlessly. It was left to the team coach to put his arm around the unfortunate son and offer wise words of wisdom, while the father seethed in the background. Some parent!

 

[Your Mum]

---

Dipped my toe in

your mum

got out quick, nasty business.

 

[Deleted member 2719]

I would say I am a enthusiastic and motivational parent/coach. Never pushy.
Too many coaches feel they are Fergie or Wenger, pathetic really at that level to kids who are potentially entering into a lifetime love of football.
I have seen coaches damage kids confidence, and even had to raise it with one, which wasn't ideal but he needs the feedback before he destroyed kids enjoyment just because of his ego.
I have only met one kids coach who genuinely cares for his squad future well being.
On the parent front there are some real numpties, like cheering own goals hysterically when they already have a 6 goal lead.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

My dad hated football and never came to watch me play (fortunately).

 

[drew]

I'm guessing all the post relate to boys football (apologies if I'm wrong). I managed my daughters team rom U10s to U16. Never had a problem with any parents, either for our team or the opposition. I did have issues with a couple of coaches though. On one occasion I told my daughter to kick the ball out because one of their players was down injured but the opposition didn't throw it back to us so I strolled down the touch line about 10yrds to ask if they didn't see us put the ball out deliberately and they acted dumb about it. Apparently we weren't the only team to complain about their lack of sportsmanship that season and I believe the two coaches weren't there the following season!

The second occasion we were playing a team where the coach was old school (socks pulled up over the outside of his tracksuit and a bit shouty). It was a team we should've have beaten easily but for some reason they went a goal up. It was only then that my daughter shouted to me that they had more players. It was a 9 a side league and they had 11 on the pitch!! We got the ref to start the game again (it was only about 10 minutes in) and we beat them about 13-0. His excuse was that on the FA Full Time match info, it referred to the pitch as the 11v11 pitch at that location!!!

I retired last season and jesus am I enjoying it. My daughter, at 16, is now player for a ladies team and it's great just to turn up and watch. No effing 7am pitch inspections on a Sunday morning, erecting those bloody Samba goals and trying to get some unwilling parent to ref.

 

[Tokyohands]

 

[OzMike]

I was a cricket daddy, I helped coach an under 13's team of which my son was a member.
I ended up doing match day scoring, which can be a bit tricky at times.
Anyway, I was scoring at an away match when there was a bit of a disturbance.
I went to see what it was all about to find that our umpire had given one of the opposition team out and the boy's father was insisting that his son is never out and never has been in any game this season so far.
I said,' well he is now', to which the response from the heated parent was that I and the umpire were both incompetent, though he did use more colourful language.
Then he said that I was trying to impress the kids and that if we were alone things would be different.
He was a real tosser, I said to him quietly that my van was about 100 yards away in the car park and that from it's opposite side we could not be seen if he wanted to come with me.
He shut up and didn't say anymore.
We had started the game at 7.30am and the sun was really starting to shine, so I decided to go to the van and get myself my broad brimmed hat.
On my return I found that the opposition had decided to throw the game and give us the points, I asked why as the situation was over and was told that they thought I was going to get something to beat the other bloke with, that made me laugh, he had decided to take his son and go whilst I was at the van.
They put their substitute player in the boys place and carried on playing, we did win and it was all fair and square with no preferential treatment.
Apparently this particular parent made such a fuss when his son had been given out the previous season that he was never given out after that, even though he should have been on occasion.
Our umpire and I had no knowledge of this and played it like a normal game, just like every other game for the rest of the season.
I would have felt sorry for the kid, but he felt as entitled as his dad and had refused to walk, like father etc..........

 

[Curious Orange]

I volunteer with Junior Orange's team, I hesitate to say coach as the I haven't done the level 1 qualification as yet, but did take the FA Playmaker course which I found very useful and eye-opening. I am very much of the positive reinforcement philosophy, rather than hairdrier. When a player does something right, praise it, anything else is a learning opportunity.

Our group of parents are actually quite a good bunch, so are happy to see the team having fun.

 

[zefarelly]

My dad hated football and never came to watch me play (fortunately).

same here, I used to trudge off on a Saturday morning on my own at 7:30, parents still in bed . . . . get the bus to Steyning to play.

Mrs Zef's parent are the polar opposite (Basketball in Aus ) her dad is in his 80''s and can't give it up. scarred the kids in a totally different way.

 

[Lenny Rider]

I remember one mother at the end of an Under 7 game came up to me at the final whistle and said "My son's better than this", so I suggested she ring Micky Adams at the Withdean, needless to say she turned up the next week and apologised.

I loved running a team from Under 7 to Under 16, won more games than we lost, had a lot of fun on the way, but all these years later the biggest achievement was, by their own admission as they thank me and the mate who ran the team with me every time we see them, is that we kept two lads out of trouble through football and ultimately out of prison.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

As per a couple of others above, cricket coaching is my thing.

I gave up club coaching about 5 years ago and now only coach county junior teams.
All coaches at this level are obliged to adhere to the ECB's rules and regulations for non-first class cricket
Very specifically in the Generic Rules & Playing Conditions [covers all matches] clause 12 states:

12 Coaching
Coaching shall not be permitted from the sidelines during a match. In such an event, the umpire shall request the coach/manager/parent/spectator to stop.
If this persists, the umpire shall have the power to warn the offending team captain and manager that the matter will be reported to the County Board/ECB.

In the 15+ years I've coached county I've had to be spoken to only once by an umpire to stop "talking to my players" during play [first and only time I did it].
I've had only one "difficult" dad who had an over-opinionated view of his son's talent and was always vocal demanding his son should be opening the batting and bowling - that year-group was particularly strong [we won the Taunton festival] and he really wasn't better than several of the other boys - I tried at least 3 times to explain the tactical thought into the team set-up but it always fell of deaf [biased] ears - had to walk away from him, closing with "we'll have to agree to disagree.

I'm happy for this elite/performance level to be competitive but we are directed to coach "player development" and not "win at all costs". You will learn more in defeat than victory.

 

[Gwylan]

I'm guessing all the post relate to boys football (apologies if I'm wrong).

The rugby team I coach is for girls. Rugby players and parents are generally better behaved anyway but it's an absolute joy dealing with girls, they're always well behaved and parents are very respectful. There are few opportunities for girls to play rugby and no parent wants to jeopardise that

 

[m@goo]

When I was a youth coach I had all types. The angry ones who put a lot of pressure on their kids, the angry ones who moaned at other peoples kids, the ones questioning my decisions, the ones yelling instructions to players, the cheerleader ones, the quiet beard scratching ones, the nervous ones...

Obviously some types are difficult to handle, some Ive straight up had to tell to shut up or **** off, others actually contribute to good atmosphere or are just generally helpful (carrying water bottles or whatnot). In the end however there was always mutual understanding that some emotions are difficult to control but that I was the coach/dictator.

Im guessing a lot of people in here got kids who plays or once played football. What kind of football dad are you and do you have any memorable experiences about other football dads?

This is why I take my hat off to anyone that voluntarily coaches kids football. So many d*ckheads.

 

[Weststander]

I'm guessing all the post relate to boys football (apologies if I'm wrong). I managed my daughters team rom U10s to U16. Never had a problem with any parents, either for our team or the opposition. I did have issues with a couple of coaches though. On one occasion I told my daughter to kick the ball out because one of their players was down injured but the opposition didn't throw it back to us so I strolled down the touch line about 10yrds to ask if they didn't see us put the ball out deliberately and they acted dumb about it. Apparently we weren't the only team to complain about their lack of sportsmanship that season and I believe the two coaches weren't there the following season!

The second occasion we were playing a team where the coach was old school (socks pulled up over the outside of his tracksuit and a bit shouty). It was a team we should've have beaten easily but for some reason they went a goal up. It was only then that my daughter shouted to me that they had more players. It was a 9 a side league and they had 11 on the pitch!! We got the ref to start the game again (it was only about 10 minutes in) and we beat them about 13-0. His excuse was that on the FA Full Time match info, it referred to the pitch as the 11v11 pitch at that location!!!

I retired last season and jesus am I enjoying it. My daughter, at 16, is now player for a ladies team and it's great just to turn up and watch. No effing 7am pitch inspections on a Sunday morning, erecting those bloody Samba goals and trying to get some unwilling parent to ref.

Genuine snort

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I remember one mother at the end of an Under 7 game came up to me at the final whistle and said "My son's better than this", so I suggested she ring Micky Adams at the Withdean, needless to say she turned up the next week and apologised.

I loved running a team from Under 7 to Under 16, won more games than we lost, had a lot of fun on the way, but all these years later the biggest achievement was, by their own admission as they thank me and the mate who ran the team with me every time we see them, is that we kept two lads out of trouble through football and ultimately out of prison.

I'm a great believer in sport keeping kids out of trouble. I worked in a council run youth club for 16 years, two evenings a week. I coached volleyball and had a decent team going.

The rugby team I coach is for girls. Rugby players and parents are generally better behaved anyway but it's an absolute joy dealing with girls, they're always well behaved and parents are very respectful. There are few opportunities for girls to play rugby and no parent wants to jeopardise that

My son was more of an athlete, and squash player, than team sports, although I did watch him running. He only did local athletics meets. His squash was county standard.

My daughter was a rugby player starting at uni. She was very fast, so once she started running with the ball, nobody could stop her.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I've taken my eldest Sons team from u6's through to u16's in the nineties, since then coached both my younger Son's teams and now have the pleasure of watching the elder of the two in the SCFL and still coach the younger at U15's.

I'm not the best spectator!