[Football] What is the best (and worst) line in football commentary you have ever witnessed?

[Mustafa II]

 

[smartferndale]

Agree.
It’s almost they have a list of sound bites/quotes in front of them. I find the commentators these days quite irritating.

I did like it after we went 2-0 up against Liverpool when Brian Moore said
“Well, rub your eyes and look at that”…..

Worst ever error
Asa Hartford a whole hearted player.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Gary Neville’s “Where d’you want your statue, Vincent Kompany!?” Was a fantastic line, delivered with great timing, at a big moment.

Not keen on the ‘Agueroooooooooo’ thing, which is just irritating noise, in the space that should have been filled with the raw crowd reaction, to a title changing hands in a single moment. Even less keen on all the current crop, trying to capture their own similar moment.

 

[worthingseagull]

Eni Alukos "he's got 19 goals in 40 appearances, do the maths on that and its a goal a game"

 

[pasty]

The one in my signature

 

[Baldseagull]

After Tony Adams had scored a goal for Arsenal. "SOME CALL HIM A DONKEY, BUT EEE-AWWW, EEE-AWWW, EEE AWWWLWAYS GETS IT RIGHT FOR THE GUNNERS!"

 

[Justice]

I was working when the play off final was on, one of the commentary team on the radio said the PL needs Leeds Utd. Apart from the handy 3 points for just about every other team I really don’t get the media wankfest for that shitty Northern outfit.

 

[maltaseagull]

Not a football comment but I loved Martin Brundle saying "For someone who´s name is Schumaker, he does talk a load of cobblers"

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I'm not sure if it really counts in this context, but BBC radio commentator Peter Jones' summary of events a few hours after the Hillsborough disaster is both poignant and spine chilling. Particularly the last line:

and the sun shines now

 

[Reagulls]

the Watford-Leicester playoff game springs to mind, double save from Knockys penalty then.....


'Now here come Watford.. Forestieri.. Here's Hogg! DEENEY!!! Do not scratch your eyes.. you are really seeing the most incredible finish here!!'

 

[BigBod]

Dozy woman commentator last night, don't know who she was, commentating on the Portugal v Czechia game, she was biggin up Portugal and how dominant they were in the game, I shouted at the telly "They've only been playing 40 f***ing seconds!!!"

 

[Commander]

Gary Neville’s “Where d’you want your statue, Vincent Kompany!?” Was a fantastic line, delivered with great timing, at a big moment.

Not keen on the ‘Agueroooooooooo’ thing, which is just irritating noise, in the space that should have been filled with the raw crowd reaction, to a title changing hands in a single moment. Even less keen on all the current crop, trying to capture their own similar moment.

I kind of agree. I don’t think it’s awful, but the moment deserved better. I’ve never particularly rated Martin Tyler. Nowhere near as good as Barry Davies and Brian Moore were.

That said, I don’t think Moore’s (I think?) commentary at the moment Michael Thomas scored to win the league for Arsenal in the last minute of the season at Anfield was particularly good either. That definitely deserved better. It deserved better than Thomas’ slightly weird celebration as well.

 

[Barham's tash]

In today’s modern world originality is all but impossible. Even more so when as someone else has said this current crop are always looking for the next viral snippet.

We don’t have any old skool wordsmiths like Barry Davies anymore:

Gazza’s free kick in the FA cup semi final v Arsenal:

“Is Gascoigne going to have a crack? He is you know. OH I SAY. That is brilliant. School boy’s own stuff.”

Off the cuff not contrived and just thoroughly summed up the moment perfectly.

 

[Commander]

In today’s modern world originality is all but impossible. Even more so when as someone else has said this current crop are always looking for the next viral snippet.

We don’t have any old skool wordsmiths like Barry Davies anymore:

Gazza’s free kick in the FA cup semi final v Arsenal:

“Is Gascoigne going to have a crack? He is you know. OH I SAY. That is brilliant. School boy’s own stuff.”

Off the cuff not contrived and just thoroughly summed up the moment perfectly.

I think the problem is with modern commentators, and particularly the female ones (who face obvious prejudice for what they do) is that they try so hard to show how knowledgeable they are about the game with stats and facts and stories about the players, that they kind of miss the point of what they are supposed to be doing. They try and be the main man (woman) in the production, where as the really good old ones just poetically described what was happening with fewer words, and knew when to shut up. There is just something about a smooth, deep, bassy well-spoken man's voice that sits perfectly over the top of football on TV. I expect a lot of the female commentators are probably far more knowledgeable about the game than people like Barry Davies actually were, but they just don't have the pitch of voice to make it sound right. It's not what they say, it's the way they say it.

The same goes for presenters - I expect Alex Scott has a more in-depth knowledge of the game than Des Lynam ever did, but you won't get her reading 'If' by Rudyard Kipling as the finale of the World Cup coverage plays out and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

Football commentary / presenting should be exempt from diversity and discrimination laws.

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

In today’s modern world originality is all but impossible. Even more so when as someone else has said this current crop are always looking for the next viral snippet.

We don’t have any old skool wordsmiths like Barry Davies anymore:

Gazza’s free kick in the FA cup semi final v Arsenal:

“Is Gascoigne going to have a crack? He is you know. OH I SAY. That is brilliant. School boy’s own stuff.”

Off the cuff not contrived and just thoroughly summed up the moment perfectly.

Barry Davies was an excellent commentator.

Often overlooked for Motson, he was IMHO, much the better of the two.

 

[dippy2449]

I Don't know Jeff

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The bowler's holding the batsman's willy.

Oops, sorry, wrong messageboard

 

[Peteinblack]

When we were playing Leicester a few years ago, I thought we were totally dominating the game, because the commentator kept saying excitedly "It's all Brighton" - until I realise he was referring to another attacking run by the Leicester player Marc Albrighton

 

[Peteinblack]

The bowler's holding the batsman's willy.

Oops, sorry, wrong messageboard

"Botham just couldn't get his leg over."

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Can’t beat a flounce

Football commentator quits live on air - BBC News

Backing for commentator so enraged at poor refereeing decisions that he walks out halfway through a match.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Seagull on the Hill]

This is outside the remit of the opening post, but one of the most exciting, spine tingling pieces of sports commentary I have heard was the TMS coverage of the last hour of Ben Stokes'/ Jack Leach's final wicket stand at Headingley in 2019.