What is a plastic fan?

[Jello Biafra]

I know a Liverpool 'fan' who lives in the Chilterns, near Chequers, who's a regular at Craven Cottage, presumably cos travelling to Anfield is too inconvenient. He spends a considerable amount of his day arguing tediously with an Arse fan about which team is best on http://www.the-millionaires-club.co.uk/viewmess.asp He's called hamsterwheel is part paddy, lived in Wales, is a bean counter, flogs dire new-build stock in a gravel pit in the middle of nowhere and has never been to Anfield as far as I can make out. Send him a message about munching prawns on ciabatta, he'll appreciate it. Believe it or not, there are characters on this bb who are even more ripe for a wind up, including a West Ham monkey (who probably isn't plastic, admittedly, but does claim to know a few of the ICF mob), he's called Alfie Noakes. There's a twat from Sunderland who lives in Monaco and the BVI too, called denc, who's plastic.

 

[Superphil]

Have you no sense of shame? What's the Pink Coconut called these days? A uni mate from Edinburgh collapsed with laughter when he heard that there was a club called the Pink Coconut in Brighton, for some reason.

There was no shame in that in those days, good places to find laydees! I'm sure I also recal seeing the Dead Kennedys in Brighton in around 1982/3/4

 

[Dirk Gently]

Quite apart from the obvious "plastics" who don't attend matches but still profess to "support" their team, there's a whole other breed of them who only turn up for big games or when the team are doing well.

They're not in it for the long haul, through thick and thin, they're just there for the good times. And they make a special effort to demonstrate how much of a supporter they are at the same time.

 

[cmonbarrybringonwoody!]

Shit! I support Brighton who I live to far away to watch.........and I would love some gloryhole.

 

[Kumquat]

What gets me is the people who pretend to be football fans at all. There's a guy where I work who pretends to be a Brighton fan and every f***ing Monday he says "did we win this weekend?" Can't wait for next Monday when I'll have to break the news to him the season's over.

I've been thinking of developing a whole summer season just for him where every week I invent fictitious results against fictitious teams complete with a fictitious table culminating in us winning the Premiership. Dunce.

 

[rouseytastic]

What gets me is the people who pretend to be football fans at all. There's a guy where I work who pretends to be a Brighton fan and every f***ing Monday he says "did we win this weekend?" Can't wait for next Monday when I'll have to break the news to him the season's over.

I've been thinking of developing a whole summer season just for him where every week I invent fictitious results against fictitious teams complete with a fictitious table culminating in us winning the Premiership. Dunce.

Brilliant! Tell him Brighton are playing really well, what a great season its been at our new Emirates stadium. That you think Cruyff has got his tactics spot on all season and really got the best out of young Robbie Fowler. Also, Veron has been a powerhouse in mid field all season..................that should do the trick!

 

[Kumquat]

Brilliant! Tell him Brighton are playing really well, what a great season its been at our new Emirates stadium. That you think Cruyff has got his tactics spot on all season and really got the best out of young Robbie Fowler. Also, Veron has been a powerhouse in mid field all season..................that should do the trick!

Conversation we just had:

Me: You going to the Amex this Saturday?
Him: Where?
Me: You going to Brighton this weekend?
Him: No, no can do I'm afraid. [Trans:No, no can do and never have done]
Pause
Him: Who have we got?
Me: Everton.
Him: That'll be tough.
Me: Not really. They are bottom at the moment.
Himh
Me: Especially as we signed Heskey this week.
Him: Really? That's amazing!
Me: With Owen that's two ex England players we've bought now.
Him: Where are we getting all this money from?
Me: Norman Cook. He's put £100 million in to the club in the last year.
Him: Norman Cook? What, Fatboy Slim?
Me: yeah.
Him: oh.

 

[rouseytastic]

conversation we just had:

Me: You going to the amex this saturday?
Him: Where?
Me: You going to brighton this weekend?
Him: No, no can do i'm afraid. [trans:no, no can do and never have done]
pause
him: Who have we got?
Me: Everton.
Him: That'll be tough.
Me: Not really. They are bottom at the moment.
Himh
me: Especially as we signed heskey this week.
Him: Really? That's amazing!
Me: With owen that's two ex england players we've bought now.
Him: Where are we getting all this money from?
Me: Norman cook. He's put £100 million in to the club in the last year.
Him: Norman cook? What, fatboy slim?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Oh.

fan-f*cking-tastic!! Keep it going, tell him we are thinking about selling Messi because he's shit!

 

[Simon Morgan]

Fundamentally, a plastic fan is someone who pretends to care more about their club than they actually do. It's not a question of how many games you go to (I'd love to go to all of them but can't due to other commitments), it's a question of how much it really means to you and whether you are honest about it. In my opinion, like.

 

[Kumquat]

fan-f*cking-tastic!! Keep it going, tell him we are thinking about selling Messi because he's shit!

I've just told him Owen is out for Saturday because of an injury to his left testicle after falling off a horse. He asked me where and I said well mine are usually between my legs to which he laughed and said no, where did he fall off the horse and I said erm, don't know, think he's got some stables or something. I'm gonna leave the wind ups til Monday now. I can feel an injury crisis brewing for us over the weekend.

 

[JOLovegrove]

Conversation we just had:

Me: You going to the Amex this Saturday?
Him: Where?
Me: You going to Brighton this weekend?
Him: No, no can do I'm afraid. [Trans:No, no can do and never have done]
Pause
Him: Who have we got?
Me: Everton.
Him: That'll be tough.
Me: Not really. They are bottom at the moment.
Himh
Me: Especially as we signed Heskey this week.
Him: Really? That's amazing!
Me: With Owen that's two ex England players we've bought now.
Him: Where are we getting all this money from?
Me: Norman Cook. He's put £100 million in to the club in the last year.
Him: Norman Cook? What, Fatboy Slim?
Me: yeah.
Him: oh.

WOW! I know football fans that at least check BBC football so they know what happened the night before!

 

[Kumquat]

WOW! I know football fans that at least check BBC football so they know what happened the night before!

He genuinely doesn't give a shit. I don't know why he pretends to either. He's a 45 year old Zimbabwean who lived down there for a while and when he heard i was a Brighton supporter, said "So am I".

 

[JOLovegrove]

He genuinely doesn't give a shit. I don't know why he pretends to either. He's a 45 year old Zimbabwean who lived down there for a while and when he heard i was a Brighton supporter, said "So am I".

Ask him about what he thinks of Navarro going!

 

[rouseytastic]

I've just told him Owen is out for Saturday because of an injury to his left testicle after falling off a horse. He asked me where and I said well mine are usually between my legs to which he laughed and said no, where did he fall off the horse and I said erm, don't know, think he's got some stables or something. I'm gonna leave the wind ups til Monday now. I can feel an injury crisis brewing for us over the weekend.

Oh really?! Injury crisis you say?!?! Mate this is a disaster, as long as Puyol stays fit i think we can still clinch that Bundesliga Title we have been knocking on the door of. Saying that Porto looked awesome last Tuesday........crikey, tough being an Albion fan these days!

 

[Kumquat]

Ask him about what he thinks of Navarro going!

He's just back from the khazi. I'll ask him now.

 

[SK1NT]

Conversation we just had:

Me: You going to the Amex this Saturday?
Him: Where?
Me: You going to Brighton this weekend?
Him: No, no can do I'm afraid. [Trans:No, no can do and never have done]
Pause
Him: Who have we got?
Me: Everton.
Him: That'll be tough.
Me: Not really. They are bottom at the moment.
Himh
Me: Especially as we signed Heskey this week.
Him: Really? That's amazing!
Me: With Owen that's two ex England players we've bought now.
Him: Where are we getting all this money from?
Me: Norman Cook. He's put £100 million in to the club in the last year.
Him: Norman Cook? What, Fatboy Slim?
Me: yeah.
Him: oh.

Tell him brighton beat barca and are officially the best tea in europe having won the champions league

 

[Kumquat]

Me: Roy, have you heard we are selling our central midfielder Alan Navarro to Palace [he wouldn't know who he was and can't mention the contract situation as the season hasn't ended for Roy]
Roy: Not Palace! [we've discussed the rivalry]
Me: Yeah
Roy: Didn't we sell that other bloke to them?
Me: yeah, Murray.
Roy: That's it. Murray. How's he doing?
Me: Shit. He's asked to come back and Gus has told him to do one.
Roy:That hasn't worked out then! Who told you that?
Me: Got a source at the club.
Roy:What about those youngsters who were arrested? What's going on with them?
Me: 3 charged. 1 no further charges.
Roy:They guilty then?
Me: Dunno.
Roy: Have you asked your source?
Me: yeah but he says he can't say anything because of ongoing legal proceedings and that I should know that. Think he was pissed off I asked.
Roy: Oh.

 

[JonathanLivingstonSeagull]

ITT: people being elitist about football. lol.

 

[JOLovegrove]

Me: Roy, have you heard we are selling our central midfielder Alan Navarro to Palace [he wouldn't know who he was and can't mention the contract situation as the season hasn't ended for Roy]
Roy: Not Palace! [we've discussed the rivalry]
Me: Yeah
Roy: Didn't we sell that other bloke to them?
Me: yeah, Murray.
Roy: That's it. Murray. How's he doing?
Me: Shit. He's asked to come back and Gus has told him to do one.
Roy:That hasn't worked out then! Who told you that?
Me: Got a source at the club.
Roy:What about those youngsters who were arrested? What's going on with them?
Me: 3 charged. 1 no further charges.
Roy:They guilty then?
Me: Dunno.
Roy: Have you asked your source?
Me: yeah but he says he can't say anything because of ongoing legal proceedings and that I should know that. Think he was pissed off I asked.
Roy: Oh.

Least he knew about Murray. Is there any other fans in the office?

 

[Kumquat]

Least he knew about Murray. Is there any other fans in the office?

No. I'm the only one )