[Football] What if football were a religion? What would be like?

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Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,063
Faversham
Given that it is almost unanimous on another thread that football is not almost a religion, it occurred to me to consider what it would look like if it were one.

I'll give it a go:

The deity of football must be something permanent, so who do we worship? Already I sense a schism. It has to be 'our club' shirley? So worshippers of the church of football have separate sects, like Catholics and Proddies. Yes, that makes sense. The Church of Brighton will never see eye to eye with the Church of Palace (the antichrist). And Albion* is the one true church. So that's settled then.

Focusing on the Church of Brighton (let's call it Brighton and Hove Albion) the adherents worship the club. The club is where it all started. It apparently died but in fact was resurrected. The father, holy ghost, and son. I think we could be called son worshippers. I'm comfortable with that.

Archbishops and priests come and go. So do managers and players. We don't worship them, but we do hang on to their every utterance, and many of us swear we have seen miracles.

The Church of Brighton is an unforgiving Church. Very Old Testament, with loads of smiting of enemies. But it is a forgiving church, welcoming back the sinner that repented. *Cough* Glenn Murray *cough*. Though not all worshippers agree on this point. Ours is a broad Church and it tolerates dissenting voices. A bit.

Anyway, I don't want to go all TLDR here. So over you you. What are the tenets of the Church of Brighton, aka Brighton and Hove Albion, as a religion? What is its code of conduct. Etc.

*It's good to have multiple names so that worshippers of other deities don't really understand what you're banging on about.
 
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Swimboy64

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2022
487
Church of Brighton Tenets
Complete ego deflation
Moral inventory
Restitution for harm done
Dependence on the Seagulls
Confession
Help to those in need
All this should make it easy to applaud the opposition when we concede
 










Acker79

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Nov 15, 2008
31,921
Brighton
Thou shalt have no other teams before their home town
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images unless it's one of those sleeve tattoos that are popular...
Thou shalt not take thy team's name in vain
Remember the Sabbath keep it holy. Though the sabbath will be different each week, depending on TV match selection
Honour they gaffer and captain
Thou shalt not kill time (unless thou is winning)
Thou shalt not commit adultery (but your reps may speak to reps of another club and we'll just turn a blind eye)
Thou shalt not steal (more than a couple of feet at set pieces)
Thou shalt bare false witness if they can convince the ref to give the opposition a card
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours players
 












DanRedman

Active member
Mar 18, 2014
280
Our Roberto, whose art is football,
hallowed be thy game,
Our journey's come,
Europe will be won,
At the Amex and on the continent,
Give us this day, 3 points and a win,
And forgive us our rants and moans, as we forgave those who also gave up after one loss,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from defeat,
For the football, the team,
And the glory will be ours,
Now and forever, come oooooonnnn!!
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,063
Faversham
Top work, all round :bowdown:
 










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