Weird conversations heard in public

[TheJasperCo]

I was walking through town the other day and as I crossed a main road, the young couple behind me were having an animated discussion about which type of pedestrian crossing they preferred.

Guy: "Those lights went red quickly".
Girl: "Yeah, and no cars ran the red light".
Guy: "I like those crossings where the lights change as soon as you press the button."
Girl: "Me too, the quick changes between red and green are better than waiting around for 30 seconds before you can cross."

The next day, as I was getting changed at my local gym I overheard a young girl asking her exasperated dad about families:

Kid: "So, which family does mummy come from?"
Dad: "Her mum and and dad are your grandparents."
Kid: "Who's Aunty Carol married to?"
Dad: "Your aunty is married to Joe, isn't she?"
Kid: "Can we marry someone in our own famil-"
Dad: "No sweetie, now hurry up and get changed or I'll get another parking ticket."

Any other gems heard from the world of the general public?

 

[albionfan37]

Probably hundreds but luckily enough they are forgotten as soon as heard

 

[Frutos]

I once heard two middle aged women in a bookstore discussing whether there was a sequel to Anne Frank's Diary as they'd really enjoyed the first one.

Both of them seemed to agree that they were sure she'd have done another one as the first had sold so well.

 

[Bedsex]

Sadly mine involved overhearing 2 Albion fans sat behind me at Pride Park several years ago. One turned to the other and asked "what county is Derby in?", the response was "I think it's in Leicestershire". As I tried to stifle my laughter, the original questioner responded and without a hint of irony, said "No, I think you're wrong mate, I believe it's in Nottinghamshire"

 

[Pogue Mahone]

I was cycling up the hill in Ovingdean on Sunday afternoon, past a bloke dressed very smartly...he was talking to his son (about 11) who was out enjoying the Sunday sunshine.

As I passed, he said "You WILL be going to Longhill if you fail your exams."

Seems that's a fate worse than death for people of that ilk.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

Sadly mine involved overhearing 2 Albion fans sat behind me at Pride Park several years ago. One turned to the other and asked "what county is Derby in?", the response was "I think it's in Leicestershire". As I tried to stifle my laughter, the original questioner responded and without a hint of irony, said "No, I think you're wrong mate, I believe it's in Nottinghamshire"

FFS. It's in Rutland.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I once heard two middle aged women in a bookstore discussing whether there was a sequel to Anne Frank's Diary as they'd really enjoyed the first one.

Both of them seemed to agree that they were sure she'd have done another one as the first had sold so well.

If the Americans hadn't turned down her visa, there might have been.

 

[Wilko]

I was teaching an A level class and could overhear a group of girls chatting as they got on with their work, they were talking about a date one of them had the evening before and I was half listening as I was putting some stuff up on the wall, they were unaware that I was nearby:

Girl one - How did your date go last night?
Girl two - Rubbish
Girl one - Why, I thought last night was 'the night'
Girl two - No, nothing happened, not even a kiss, I'd shaved my fanny and everything

At which point I burst into uncontrolled laughter, said girl went bright red and luckily burst into laughter too.

 

[giveusfalmerplease]

interesting different thread
I was queuing up in the post office recently and two old dears (70+) were chatting:
Lady 1; I'll be glad when this brexit thing is all over with
Lady 2: yes i know what you mean its all i hear on the telly
Lady 1: Yeah and i will be glad to get all those PESETAS again for my money when i go to Spain instead of those Euro things
Lady 2: Yeah good point

 

[lawros left foot]

Overheard, walking past a young couple,
Her" You're not doing that again unless you cut your nails"
Him, "Well,John didn't mind"

 

[GT49er]

I once heard two middle aged women in a bookstore discussing whether there was a sequel to Anne Frank's Diary as they'd really enjoyed the first one.

Both of them seemed to agree that they were sure she'd have done another one as the first had sold so well.

I believe that was supposed to be the Anne Frank Guide to Heavy Metal Drumming?

 

[Lindfield23]

Sadly mine involved overhearing 2 Albion fans sat behind me at Pride Park several years ago. One turned to the other and asked "what county is Derby in?", the response was "I think it's in Leicestershire". As I tried to stifle my laughter, the original questioner responded and without a hint of irony, said "No, I think you're wrong mate, I believe it's in Nottinghamshire"

That's nothing. Best friend of mine thought (until I told him otherwise) that North Sussex and South Sussex were bona fide counties ffs(he's lived in Haywards Heath +surrounding area ALL HIS LIFE). God knows how he managed to get an A in his Geography GCSE

 

[GT49er]

That's nothing. Best friend of mine thought (until I told him otherwise) that North Sussex and South Sussex were bona fide counties ffs(he's lived in Haywards Heath +surrounding area ALL HIS LIFE). God knows how he managed to get an A in his Geography GCSE

Could he spell his name? Job done!

 

[Lindfield23]

Could he spell his name? Job done!

Be worrying if he couldn't. Only contains 3 letters

 

[Eeyore]

That's nothing. Best friend of mine thought (until I told him otherwise) that North Sussex and South Sussex were bona fide counties ffs(he's lived in Haywards Heath +surrounding area ALL HIS LIFE). God knows how he managed to get an A in his Geography GCSE

Not as bad as one of my team who, when I gave a list of towns to contact local councils for various permissions, asked why she needed to underline Newcastle....

 

[clapham_gull]

I once heard two middle aged women in a bookstore discussing whether there was a sequel to Anne Frank's Diary as they'd really enjoyed the first one.

Both of them seemed to agree that they were sure she'd have done another one as the first had sold so well.

I queued behind some Americans at Anne Franks house moaning that that the house "wasn't all that" and the Dutch hadn't kept it up to scratch for tourists.

I think they were expecting Buckingham Palace.

They left.

 

[Arthritic Toe]

Not as bad as one of my team who, when I gave a list of towns to contact local councils for various permissions, asked why she needed to underline Newcastle....

I had to read that about 5 times before I got it.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I had to read that about 5 times before I got it.

At least you got it upon time.

 

[bn1&bn3 Albion]

Whilst on my lunch break at work there were 3 of my colleagues talking about accents, one of them was complaining because she "didn't have an accent". I wasn't sure what to laugh about more, that statement or the fact the 2 other coworkers agreed..

 

[See-Goals]

There is a row of 7 - 8 seats not occupied by season ticket holders behind me in WSL. The club seem to have a strict criteria in who they sell these tickets to.

It's always a group of men in their late 20's, they sit sideways on away from the football talking about their jobs.

They all have jobs that use the word 'account' a lot, (I manage the account, I am the account manager, I won the account), they occasionally look up and make a reference to how great it will be if Brighton (not 'we') get to play big teams, they make reference to players who aren't even on the pitch, one of them was adamant that Bruno had been with us since he started his career.

Now I'm all for having a bum on a seat than an empty seat but if you're catching up with a few mates and the conversation is predominantly going to be about what you do in the week rather than enjoy what you do for leisure when you're not at work, surely an afternoon in the pub over some grub would be more suited?