Part 1... part 2 coming tomorrow or something
As a healthy man with too much time on my hands, I was immediatly intrigued when I read that you can walk from Brighton to Falmer. "The journey is relatively straightforward, you just head straight up Lewes Road". As someone who has never put his foot in the United Kingdom, it becomes less obvious - I don't even know if you walk on the left or the right side. My refusal to join the evolution of the species also leaves me without any type of GPS equipment, meaning it would not necessarily be obvious to me the day I finally come for a visit.
But still... when I was younger I always dreamed of a Lord of the Ringsesque journey. Walking in a beautiful landscape with birds singing. occasionally stopping for a beer at the taverna, engulfing the bars with their bar brawls and waltzing with the ladies with their lady parts. Adventure and fulfillment. Hearing about the two pubs on the road - "The Bear" and "The Gladstone" - make me believe that my dreams may come true. I could truly be Frodo. Not only in the sense of going to the AMEX and throwing that bottle cap on the pitch - but also in the sense that the journey in itself could be spectacular.
I am not a complete fu*king utopian though. "Always prepared" is not my middle name, but somewhere at some point, surely I told someone that it is. I need to make the journey once on Google Maps through their street view, despite spoiling a lot of surprises.
Looking at it, "Lewey Road" seems to be a somewhat incoherent description, so in order to grasp it I will simply decide that it begins where the "Upper Lewey Road / A270" conjures with the "Seemingly Nameless Road / A270" and simply turns into "Lewey Road". According to Google Maps, this happens somewhere close to the Machine Mart, where I suppose the citizens of Brighton come to get their machines.
While not entirely sure that this place resembles where Frodo and Sam began their adventure, it seems like a very nice road. You can get a beer on "The Booze Corner" or a meal of Chinese food at the "Dragon", as well as unkown items from John Hilton. Moving down the road, past the beautiful building where the dead but nicely intended "Fresh Start Community Center" is situated and further down the road with all of its small, pitoresque little stores, I meet my first disappointment.
"Welcome to Lewes Road's Co-op", the disappointment says. It is some sort of food store, which is acceptable, but the building in itself is too ugly. It destroys the shattered unity of the road. This is where I reach for the marker in my pocket and write "NO" on the facade. On the opposite side of the road, there's an almost equally ugly building, saved from my judgement only through the pretty nice mural.
I keep walking, past "The Store" - a friendly little place where they seem to sell buckets - and stop at "Wine Me Up". Seems like they are into anarchism since they have a sign that says "Off Licence". I go for a quick visit and ask them if they could sell me a bottle of their cheapest, home-brewed wine.
"Good choice, sir", says the man behind the counter and lean down to get a bottle of "Lewey Road Roadkill Cherry". I give him the required amount of money and keep walking. I notice the Pet Spa and obviously think "****ing foreigners" but secretly dig the bubbles on the facade.
Then I suddenly become very happy.
Close to a completely retarded bus stop not facing the street, there is a house - or maybe two, depending on how you see it - painted in red wine red and orange... orange. Perfectly split. A rebellion against the grey world. Seems like a private house, so I restrain myself from entering the building and keep walking.
My happy mood continue as I see the graffiti mural to my left, painted on a wall that hide a yard where there is obviously party, prostitution and balloons. "Embrace the chaos", it says on the wall, and I decide I will probably have a closer look at my way back. As for now, I need to keep moving towards Falmer.
Next to the rave-backyard, there is a big - or at least long - house complex looking like the lovechild of UK & Soviet architecture. On the opposite side of the road, there is a church - St Martin - in rougly the same boring brown-gray colour. Now in a temporary state of disgust, I once again turn my head to the long house complex at the other side of the road, where I notice that a small piece of the housing complex is in a completely other dull colour, and while I am a sucker for asymmetry, it still bothers the shit out of me so I rush down the road.
Things go back a bit to normal; not as cozy as in the beginning of my journey, but not really bad either. On the opposite side of the "Lewey Road Conveniencestore", there is another "Wine Me Up" and I feel betrayed. I thought I had bought my wine in a small scale local business, but it seems to be a chain. What bullshit. But I do have wine.
This is the end of what seems to be the cozy city centre and the road gets broader. Seems like I am now entering the residential areas and I feel a bit lost, but I can feel the smell of sparrow feces and I can see the tree tops. I know what this means. Yes, indeed. It is a park. A pretty boring and ugly one, it seems, but still a park. Nature, you know.
I mean, not even Frodo & Sam spent all their journey in paradise. They probably passed a few strictly planned city parks that Tolkien just didnt bother to describe.
At the end of the park, the road splits and I don't really know where to go. I see another church and a few people waiting for the bus at the bus stop (facing the road and everything, great stuff) and I ask "where am I?".
A gentleman gently responds: "St Peters church".
"I'm going to the AMEX, could you point out the direction?"
"Well..." he says, "you want it to be quick or beautiful?"
I don't even have to think. "Beautiful!"
I feel a surge of energy, a burst of sudden strength. "I want to the cozy little houses with the cozy little people, I want to dance and sing, I want the leafy parks, I want to stroll by the broken treehouse of your beloved childhood!"
The old man is smiling nervously.
"Well... I'd give you that.. but then you wouldnt end up in Falmer."
"Oh. Well. First things first..."
He points in a certain direction. "That way, my son. Just head that way, and when you start to hear the chants.."
We both burst out in laugther.
"Nah", he continues, "just go in that direction and when you hear the 'Jurassic Park' theme playing inside your head, you know its the soul of the North Stand speaking".
As a healthy man with too much time on my hands, I was immediatly intrigued when I read that you can walk from Brighton to Falmer. "The journey is relatively straightforward, you just head straight up Lewes Road". As someone who has never put his foot in the United Kingdom, it becomes less obvious - I don't even know if you walk on the left or the right side. My refusal to join the evolution of the species also leaves me without any type of GPS equipment, meaning it would not necessarily be obvious to me the day I finally come for a visit.
But still... when I was younger I always dreamed of a Lord of the Ringsesque journey. Walking in a beautiful landscape with birds singing. occasionally stopping for a beer at the taverna, engulfing the bars with their bar brawls and waltzing with the ladies with their lady parts. Adventure and fulfillment. Hearing about the two pubs on the road - "The Bear" and "The Gladstone" - make me believe that my dreams may come true. I could truly be Frodo. Not only in the sense of going to the AMEX and throwing that bottle cap on the pitch - but also in the sense that the journey in itself could be spectacular.
I am not a complete fu*king utopian though. "Always prepared" is not my middle name, but somewhere at some point, surely I told someone that it is. I need to make the journey once on Google Maps through their street view, despite spoiling a lot of surprises.
Looking at it, "Lewey Road" seems to be a somewhat incoherent description, so in order to grasp it I will simply decide that it begins where the "Upper Lewey Road / A270" conjures with the "Seemingly Nameless Road / A270" and simply turns into "Lewey Road". According to Google Maps, this happens somewhere close to the Machine Mart, where I suppose the citizens of Brighton come to get their machines.
While not entirely sure that this place resembles where Frodo and Sam began their adventure, it seems like a very nice road. You can get a beer on "The Booze Corner" or a meal of Chinese food at the "Dragon", as well as unkown items from John Hilton. Moving down the road, past the beautiful building where the dead but nicely intended "Fresh Start Community Center" is situated and further down the road with all of its small, pitoresque little stores, I meet my first disappointment.
"Welcome to Lewes Road's Co-op", the disappointment says. It is some sort of food store, which is acceptable, but the building in itself is too ugly. It destroys the shattered unity of the road. This is where I reach for the marker in my pocket and write "NO" on the facade. On the opposite side of the road, there's an almost equally ugly building, saved from my judgement only through the pretty nice mural.
I keep walking, past "The Store" - a friendly little place where they seem to sell buckets - and stop at "Wine Me Up". Seems like they are into anarchism since they have a sign that says "Off Licence". I go for a quick visit and ask them if they could sell me a bottle of their cheapest, home-brewed wine.
"Good choice, sir", says the man behind the counter and lean down to get a bottle of "Lewey Road Roadkill Cherry". I give him the required amount of money and keep walking. I notice the Pet Spa and obviously think "****ing foreigners" but secretly dig the bubbles on the facade.
Then I suddenly become very happy.
Close to a completely retarded bus stop not facing the street, there is a house - or maybe two, depending on how you see it - painted in red wine red and orange... orange. Perfectly split. A rebellion against the grey world. Seems like a private house, so I restrain myself from entering the building and keep walking.
My happy mood continue as I see the graffiti mural to my left, painted on a wall that hide a yard where there is obviously party, prostitution and balloons. "Embrace the chaos", it says on the wall, and I decide I will probably have a closer look at my way back. As for now, I need to keep moving towards Falmer.
Next to the rave-backyard, there is a big - or at least long - house complex looking like the lovechild of UK & Soviet architecture. On the opposite side of the road, there is a church - St Martin - in rougly the same boring brown-gray colour. Now in a temporary state of disgust, I once again turn my head to the long house complex at the other side of the road, where I notice that a small piece of the housing complex is in a completely other dull colour, and while I am a sucker for asymmetry, it still bothers the shit out of me so I rush down the road.
Things go back a bit to normal; not as cozy as in the beginning of my journey, but not really bad either. On the opposite side of the "Lewey Road Conveniencestore", there is another "Wine Me Up" and I feel betrayed. I thought I had bought my wine in a small scale local business, but it seems to be a chain. What bullshit. But I do have wine.
This is the end of what seems to be the cozy city centre and the road gets broader. Seems like I am now entering the residential areas and I feel a bit lost, but I can feel the smell of sparrow feces and I can see the tree tops. I know what this means. Yes, indeed. It is a park. A pretty boring and ugly one, it seems, but still a park. Nature, you know.
I mean, not even Frodo & Sam spent all their journey in paradise. They probably passed a few strictly planned city parks that Tolkien just didnt bother to describe.
At the end of the park, the road splits and I don't really know where to go. I see another church and a few people waiting for the bus at the bus stop (facing the road and everything, great stuff) and I ask "where am I?".
A gentleman gently responds: "St Peters church".
"I'm going to the AMEX, could you point out the direction?"
"Well..." he says, "you want it to be quick or beautiful?"
I don't even have to think. "Beautiful!"
I feel a surge of energy, a burst of sudden strength. "I want to the cozy little houses with the cozy little people, I want to dance and sing, I want the leafy parks, I want to stroll by the broken treehouse of your beloved childhood!"
The old man is smiling nervously.
"Well... I'd give you that.. but then you wouldnt end up in Falmer."
"Oh. Well. First things first..."
He points in a certain direction. "That way, my son. Just head that way, and when you start to hear the chants.."
We both burst out in laugther.
"Nah", he continues, "just go in that direction and when you hear the 'Jurassic Park' theme playing inside your head, you know its the soul of the North Stand speaking".
