Uneventful situations which cause a KERFUFFLE in the work place

[Finch]

That is completely insane how mudh time is wasted doing that? That is good NSC time you are wasting there.

It is truly insane, but its not worth addressing right now while the bee is still in corporates bonnet.

On a lighter note we have a kitchen roster and a different unit on our floor takes turns for a week doing the chores. My GF's unit is on this week so I sent a complete pisstake of an email today bringing to their attention the lack of "fine blend" coffee in stock (complete mud instant brand). I got quite the heated response and she hasn't talked to me again yet!

 

[Rodney Thomas]

Someone was hotdesking yesterday while a lady was off. He changed the screen size. She came back today. f***ing blew her lid!

 

[Easy 10]

"hotdesking" ?

 

[Simster]

Personal kerfuffles include:
People using my Albion mug
People turning off air con because they get too cold
People using my personal milk
People using my desk when I'm out and adjusting my chair
People swapping my toner cartrridge for an empty one when I am on hols, because theirs runs out.

This list could go on and on and.......

Putting your stapler in a jelly mold?

 

[timbha]

and what did I hear today...........

when are we getting our Advent calendar?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The highly organised Christmas do person at one of my former workplaces used to write out little cardboard place names for everyone with details of what they had chosen several months previously written on the back. She even solved the interminable debate about venue by booking it for next years "do" at the previous years! It was a superb location, carvery roast, carvery desert and Harvey's from the barrel!

Bet there was still some lightweight once-a-year drinker who went completely head-mental ordering double brandies tho eh? And assumed, wrongly, that the cost would be spread around the table.

 

[m20gull]

car parking. From who gets a space in the main car park to who gets one paid for in tesco. Is it length of service or seniority. What happens when someone is not in or someone parks in the wrong space. Or parks too near the edge of the space or parks there in an old car. What about part-timers? Staff with blue badges. the kerfuffle is endless.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

It's friday.

The milk has ran out.

Cue "Well I can't drink tea now. What am I meant to drink?"


WATER. The earth's natural LIQUID. WATER.

 

[The Large One]

this...

We have three signs on the inside of the front door instructing us to close it, rather than letting it close.

And another about deliveries.
And another about first aid.
And another about fire exits.
And another about wet umbrellas.
And another about closing windows.
And another about how to close the front door...

 

[Seagull over Canaryland]

car parking. From who gets a space in the main car park to who gets one paid for in tesco. Is it length of service or seniority. What happens when someone is not in or someone parks in the wrong space. Or parks too near the edge of the space or parks there in an old car. What about part-timers? Staff with blue badges. the kerfuffle is endless.

People moaning about not getting a parking space at their workplace often don't recognise that it is potentially a taxable benefit. Compare the cost of having to pay for your parking (eg an on street permit or public car park charge) instead of a having a 'free' space at work and multiply that by several years working at that location and it can add up to a substantial difference, so it is definitely a 'benefit' and in my experience often taken for granted. Those who have a reserved space at their workplace for a private vehicle that is only used for commuting to/from work should really pay tax for the privilege. That might shut up some of the moaners too.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

This due an xmas bounce surely?

People must have LOADS of examples of xmas joy/ cold weather causing RIDICULOUS over-reactions in the office.

We have the xmas part tomorrow. It's like a bloody military operation between the women to make sure they are all in outfits which hide the lumps and bumps but also dont clash with each other.

Comments like "I'm just going to wear a dress I have" 2 weeks ago are now "So, i bought this £60 dress and these £30 shoes".



Other situations which have caused MAYHEM:

Where do i put the tinsel?
The xmas lights are reflecting off my screen
You've had more than your allocated mince pies.

 

[Badger]

It's our office Christmas party today.

3.45pm for mulled wine, mince pies and secret Santa presents, there's bound some ANTICS then. One guy has left the company in the last week (on bad terms), whoever he had for secret Santa is going to get left disappointed (unless HR come up trumps).

Lots of discussions about party clothing, the dress code is smart/casual with no jeans but this has lead to various interpretations of what is acceptable. The guy opposite me has even taken his dinner suit for an emergency dry clean today.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

Lots of discussions about party clothing, the dress code is smart/casual with no jeans but this has lead to various interpretations of what is acceptable. The guy opposite me has even taken his dinner suit for an emergency dry clean today.

Ah, see ours is a bloody masquerade ball.

Bloke's interpretation. Ill just grab a dog mask from the 99p store.

Lady interpretation: "I need a massive dress with lace detail and I have to get an amazing mask, oh but i dont want a mask on a stick because my arm will get sore holding it. Oh but one on my face might be annoying and get in the way of a drink. Will i be too hot with one on? oh god. This is so difficult"

 

[Norman Potting]

I was responsible for organising the official "who gets the the choccy from the advent calendar" rota in my old team.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

I was responsible for organising the official "who gets the the choccy from the advent calendar" rota in my old team.

Oh you have MISSED A TRICK there Norman.

My last job would have a daily advent calender choccy draw. The winner would then have to open his window, declare to the office the image on show and then was free to eat his chocolate. He wouold then be responsible for drawing out the next name (we had 4 calenders). Mondays were really rather exciting as we would have a weekend rollover of choccys.

Adding the 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' music added extreme tension.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

It's our office Christmas party today.


Lots of discussions about party clothing, the dress code is smart/casual with no jeans but this has lead to various interpretations of what is acceptable. The guy opposite me has even taken his dinner suit for an emergency dry clean today.

Ours is themed as a CASINO NIGHT. The invites state the dress code as 'Men - Black Tie', 'Ladies - Glamour Surprise'. They are all wondering what the f*** that is supposed to mean! I've told them it means 'Burlesque'.

 

[sully]

The Grinch has stolen our Christmas Party.

A few of us are going "late night shopping" this evening.......

 

[The Fifth Column]

A random selection currently doing the rounds in my office:

Secret Santa was capped at £10 but did state there was no minimum spend! This is causing all sorts of financial discussion and claims that certain tightwads will be off to the 99p shop. I don't give a fuq.

Somebody refused to buy cakes because it was his birthday, he is being roundly pilloried by all the fat bastards in the office. I don't give a fuq.

Someone has announce they are pregnant, the whole work ethic of every female has simultaneously collapsed and the men are looking around bemused. I don't give a fuq.

There is a pattern emerging I think.

 

[GreersElbow]

Working in accountancy, when someone locks us out of HMRC, there's a passive lynch mob...


And rightly so.

 

[Dave the OAP]

If you need a dataphone for mail etc, the company have supplied HTC things which are total bobbins. So due to security etc, we have all been told we are getting iPhones and so this has started the annual FAST discussions ( Federation against software theft) which I am sure 99% of teh companies you work for adhere to....anyway iTunes! What are we allowed to put on iTunes on a company owned lap top.

Basically nothing as the iTunes is licensed to you personally through your apple id, BUT the lap top is a company device licensed to the company...see where the issue is? No neither can I but all the bar room lawyers are all creaming themselves at the moment as they are all arguing with whoever sad twat wants to listen that we are all going to break the law and go to jail!

...and another thing...hotdesking. Part of our offices in one of our Data Centers is being refurbished, so I had to use someones desk...I didnt unplug something, I didnt change the resolution of her screen, I didnt move a fecking gonk or change the height of her seat....really I didn't. You would not believe some of the stuff that I am getting from this person. I tell her " Its not your desk, it is the company's desk" " Nothing in that area is yours...its all the company's and we all work for the company"

Cue hysteria and wine induced sobbing.

FFS