[Cricket] Two in two balls?

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

To get hit once is unfortunate, but in successive balls....

[video]https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504[/video]

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

To get hit once is unfortunate, but in successive balls....

[video]https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504[/video]

Successive balls? I'm out.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Morgan had a big smirk on his face as well as both umpires

 

[Bodian]

Much underrated thread title!

 

[Poojah]

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:



Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

 

[dadams2k11]

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

What we all want to know is....

..... Do you play on? [emoji846]

And how long was you out of action in the bedroom?

 

[Poojah]

What we all want to know is....

..... Do you play on? [emoji846]

And how long was you out of action in the bedroom?

Play on? I couldn't inhale for about three weeks.

I did manage a wank the same night though. There's something equally novel and terrifying about jizzing something resembling a raspberry ripple.

 

[Baldseagull]

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

Perry Digweed in goal for Albion played on, after a hammering to the nuts, until blood started running down his leg.

 

[Baldseagull]

To get hit once is unfortunate, but in successive balls....

[video]https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504[/video]

Missed the hat trick then.

 

[CaergybiGull]

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

So, is your username the sound you made when your testicles exploded?

 

[Petunia]

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

Wimp.

 

[zefarelly]

That's nuts!

 

[Superphil]

Perry Digweed in goal for Albion played on, after a hammering to the nuts, until blood started running down his leg.

Think it was his chap and his kids. Gary Chivers said it looked nasty, but the swelling was impressive. IIRC we didn't have a keeper on the bench so one of the outfield players went in goal while our reserve keeper who was in the stands eating a pie legged it to the dressing room got changed and finished the game, or is that fanciful Gary Chivers embellishment?

 

[happypig]

I was watching a match, early 80s, when one of the australians took one in the spuds and Richie Benaud's first words were "There's one ball left"

 

[Gwylan]

I was watching a match, early 80s, when one of the australians took one in the spuds and Richie Benaud's first words were "There's one ball left"

I thought that was when Bumble got one in the nads from Thommo

A great story about it here

 

[Knocky's Nose]

I bet the poor sod was talking in soprano after that!

 

[Baldseagull]

Think it was his chap and his kids. Gary Chivers said it looked nasty, but the swelling was impressive. IIRC we didn't have a keeper on the bench so one of the outfield players went in goal while our reserve keeper who was in the stands eating a pie legged it to the dressing room got changed and finished the game, or is that fanciful Gary Chivers embellishment?

It was standard for the time not to have a keeper on the bench, 2 named subs, so I don't think reserve keeper could have played even if he was there, can't remember who took over, I am pretty sure Kevin Bremner took the gloves in one game, but I am not sure it was that one, might have been Steve Gatting? Needed a blood transfusion and I don't think he played again for more than a year, but that might have been because Keeley was doing well.