Things you should never say to a woman

[Wozza]

"You're not fat - just a little short for your weight"

 

[tedebear]

actually I suggest you say it to everywoman you see - the ones who laugh are probably your type

 

[Man of Harveys]

"This tastes like shit but I guess you did your best"

 

[Tooting Gull]

"I thought maybe something functional for your birthday, and I noticed the garden shears were a bit rusty."

 

[Muzzman]

"What's that smell?"

 

[Lokki 7]

"This tastes like shit but I guess you did your best"

Is this a post coital scatological reference?

 

[Trufflehound]

Yes, your bum DOES look big in that. Because it's f**king HUGE.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Is this a post coital scatological reference?

Yes, yes it is. Although I try not to talk with my mouth full.

 

[aftershavedave]

"nice tache"

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

" Look at the tits on that Blonde across the road sweetheart "

 

[Dave the OAP]

" that fitted you last summer..."

 

[Brovion]

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird do you?"

 

[Hampden Park]

i won't come in your mouth

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

You can get cream for that cellulite.

 

[British Bulldog]

I found a post nookie slap on the backside followed by "right get your knickers on fatso it's time you had the dinner on & I could do with a cold beer while your at it" was probably not the best thing to say to a woman! It got me my latest sex ban.

I blame a liquid lunch for my stupidity!

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

As you get older you get "liver spots" on the back of your hands. When my mother got them my old man informed her "they are the flowers of the graveyard".

That must have been 25-odd years ago. She has never really forgiven him for that one.

So don't make any glib comments about the effects of ageing .........

 

[RM-Taylor]

 

[ali jenkins]

"Ive seen nicer tits"

 

[On the Left Wing]

"Have you got PMT?"

 

[Scoffers]

I've smothered myself with Tuna fish so we smell the same