Things you never hear said by anyone, ever

[Bedsex]

"Southern are pleased to announce..."

 

[Notters]

We've just got too many options up front.

We need to offload one or two of our prolific strikers.

 

[Gwylan]

Feel sorry for the kids of today, exams are so much harder than they were when we were young
I read a really well-balanced thoughtful article in the Daily Mail today
The Labour Party is totally united on this issue

 

[Postman Pat]

Premier League footballers are underpaid.
I love Ricky Gervais range of characters

 

[Mo Gosfield]

" Look, its no use you keep chasing me for money....I don't want to pay you "...." Its not that I can't actually pay you....if I was prepared to make savings somewhere else, I could probably muster up most of what I owe you "...." Its just that I would rather not pay you and pay someone else instead "...." I know who I want to pay by preference and you are pretty near the bottom of the list "..." whilst you are on the phone, I was hoping to place another order and extend my, already well-extended, credit terms, just a little bit more "...." I am, after all, a very good customer "

 

[Worthingite]

Halloumi on Ryvita.... my word you are spoiling us today!

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

"We know we have the right product,our award winning pies really hurt Burnley and Boro last season,together,as a club We're working hard to inflict the same pain on Newcastle and Norwich this season."


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[BadFish]

I just played one quick match on football manager, just like I said I would.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

"We know we have the right product,our award winning pies really hurt Burnley and Boro last season,together,as a club We're working hard to inflict the same pain on Newcastle and Norwich this season."


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/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ "<anything positive, ever, about the club he pretends to support>"

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ "<anything positive, ever, about the club he pretends to support>"

Get a life you desperate old sack,thought this was supposed to be light hearted,go and have a Sherman.


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[skipper734]

Brighton and Hove are so much nicer now days because of the Universities.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Get a life

Sage advice

 

[happypig]

Isn't her shrill, Scouse accent delightful ?

Of course you can trust him, he's Nigerian.

 

[carlzeiss]

Feel sorry for those desperate refugees stuck in Calais . About time our government made provisions for them to travel here and enjoy the benefits of UK citizenship .

 

[BadFish]

Feel sorry for those desperate refugees stuck in Calais . About time our government made provisions for them to travel here and enjoy the benefits of UK citizenship .

This obviously depends on who you talk to...

http://www.helprefugees.org.uk/news/calais-kitchens-food-donations/

https://www.supportrefugees.org.uk/volunteering/volunteer-in-calais/

http://care4calais.org/

http://www.calaid.co.uk/

 

[Simster]

I wish we could read more of hove born and bred's thought-provoking Albion content. It's amazing he doesn't write for a proper newspaper.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

I wish we could read more of hove born and bred's thought-provoking Albion content. It's amazing he doesn't write for a proper newspaper.

Hove always has a capital Huh in every context.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Ecky thump

Palarse are a footy side

Bangs like a barn door.

 

[ManOfSussex]

The nightlife in Bexhill-On-Sea is fantastic.

 

[Notters]

We're really starting to see the benefits of Brexit.